But they both had different visions of this summer. Teenagers now, they wanted to spend unlimited time with their friends. And I'm ok with that. I get it, it makes them normal, well adjusted, blah blah blah.
What I'm not ok with is the drama, the sleepless nights, and the number of late night phone calls I've gotten, especially lately.
All summer long, my husband and I wake up in the middle of the night to an empty house. Even though they they have a curfew, they ignore it. We call the boys to see where they are...and are told "on my way home". Doing what? Who knows. We hope for the best. Trying to trust these boys.
The last couple of weeks have been over the top.
Last week, my youngest son, fresh off being grounded for not coming home on time...didn't come home on time. My husband called him and he was with his friends, who were stuck in an elevator in a parking garage? The last I knew he was at a friend's house. Another sleepless night, my son was grounded again, and he didn't talk to me for the entire week. As if it were my fault.
Sunday night, my phone rang at 1130. It was the father of one of my oldest son's friends, who was in the ER after being found belligerent and drunk in a parking lot earlier in the evening. My son, who was home when the phone rang, gave me a vague rundown of the evening's events. The group of boys, who have been friends since first grade, were at another boy's house picking their players for their fantasy football league. That's when the story gets gray. No one remembers the boy drinking. Somehow they were called to where he was found when he tried to run from the police. He is in a ton of trouble. And I tossed and turned the rest of the night. I feel badly for the boy and his father. The details are starting to emerge. My son is being fingered as the one who brought the liquor. He is, of course, denying it. "What are you talking about?", he keeps saying to me. When I told him he can't drive to school tomorrow, he just about had a meltdown. I told him to tell me the truth. But he swears he is. In my heart of hearts, I know he's lying. Because, after all, I was a teenager once.
My husband makes excuses for my son.
I've shed a lot of tears the last few weeks. Talked to a lot of my girlfriends who have been there with their teens.
These are good boys. Truly. I think that's what makes this all the more surprising to me. I know teenagers have poor judgement and do stupid things. But it is hard to accept it when it is your kids getting in trouble.
And it isn't the liquor use and the weed smoking that bothers me the most. Don't get me wrong, I'm not ok with this. But what bothers me is the lying. As a professional, I know all about teenagers and why they lie. But when it is your own son....
This has been the worst summer of my life. I'm not feeling sorry for myself. It is what it is.
The only redeeming feature of this summer has been my marathon training. I almost think that it was fate that I won this entry. That some power bigger than me knew that I was going to be challenged by my boys, and that I needed something to focus on outside of them, something that would make me tough.
My marathon training, being managed by my trainer Becky, who is a CrossFit coach, is different than any race prep I've ever done in the past. Heavy lifting, intervals, speed work, endurance work..each workout is meant to make me stronger and tougher. This is the hardest work I've ever done. And I'm loving it. I might moan and groan while I'm working out, but when I finish I feel great. I'm focused on controlling my pace and speed for every running workout I do.
Because right now, my workouts are the only thing I can control.