Today I'm writing about random thoughts that I've had--stuff that has run through my mind, possible ideas for blog posts. I've been jotting them down over the past couple of months, and because they're just random, odd thoughts, you get an extra holiday treat of silliness.
Today I have the perfect excuse to put them all out there. Because....
"When in doubt, I whip it out, I got me a rock and roll band, it's a free for all..." (Ted Nugent)
1. Why do non-runners think all runners know each other?
Actually, this is a principle you could apply to just about any group with a common factor. I'm a nurse--really, a nurse practitioner, but there are even nurses who don't make the distinction. (A topic for discussion at another time and another place. This is a running blog, after all.) Anyways, my father-in-law's lady friend has a daughter who is a nurse. They automatically assumed we'd be best buds because we are both nurses. Seriously. Even though I work in pediatrics and she takes care of adults. Um no. Not a thing in common except that we are nurses.
A while back, a woman stopped me while I was out running. At the time, I had my earbuds in and was rocking my run, and as I passed her, I noticed her talking to me. I tried to keep going but she wouldn't stop trying to get my attention. Slightly annoyed, I took one headphone out, stopped my Garmin, and stopped to see what she wanted. She told me she sees me running all the time and asked me a bunch of questions about running, how far I go, how many days/week I run, etc. Then she asked me if I knew "the realtor". What? Who? "Do you run with her?" What? Why? Once I figured out who she was asking about, yes, I do know who "the realtor" is. She's the mother of a friend, who is about 70, sells homes in the neighborhood, and runs several days/week. Why would this woman assume that I run with "the realtor"?
Don't all runners run together? Don't we all know each other? I didn't even explain to her about running alone. I didn't think she'd get it.
I'll never forget the time the neighborhood weirdo (yes, you have one too), the recluse in the mint green house with the big cross made out of rocks in her front yard, was in her driveway and approached me as I ran by. She came out into the road and stupid me, I stopped. She asked me if she could run with me sometime. Because why? I backed away slowly and mumbled some response. I avoided her street for a while after that.
2. Why do non-runners tell runners how hard it is to run?
The other frustrating aspect of this conversation was when that woman who stopped to ask me 100 questions about running told me how "hard" it is for her to run, wanting to know how I motivate myself to get out the door. But why do non-runners feel the need to tell us runners how hard running is? How it just "kills" their knees? Is it to make themselves feel better because they don't run? And then we runners are put in another awkward situation having to explain why we find enjoyment beating ourselves up by participating in such a difficult activity. Ay.
Apparently, to non-runners we runners are gluttons for punishment. Because the idea of arthritis and heart disease are just so much more appealing than a few miles around the 'hood.
And no, she didn't ask if she could run with me.
3. Name the runners you see on the run
Ok, this isn't an original idea, Angela at Happy Fit Mama did a post on this a while ago. Her post made me think about the other people I see when I'm running. Like a guy I've mentioned before, The Windmill? He's the one who spins his arms while he runs. There's The Jogger, whom my husband I named way before we knew about the whole jogger vs runner thing. He's another neighbor who used to run, then jog, and now walks. Slowly. Still makes those jogging motions with his arms though. I do believe there are some "issues", since he's in his 50s and still lives with his mom. Has bad 80s hair and wears a leather blazer when he's not, ahem, jogging. The Gazelle is a runner I see quite often when I'm out running. He runs with really long strides and exaggerated arm motions. I can't help but think about all the wasted energy in that stride. There's a guy I see all the time who runs really slow and doesn't bend his legs at all, aka The Shuffler. I've talked with him a little. Seems like a really nice guy. Runs a lot. Finally, I used to see a woman at the retention pond who had a really smooth stride. I used to call her The Smooth Runner. Really original, right? But I saw her at my first Chicago Marathon, and yes, she crushed her run. So much for being judgmental.
|I guess I'd call him the Streaker! (Will Farrell in Old School)|
4. James Bond-esque self defense for runners
In light of all the recent threats to the safety of runners at all my running hot spots, I've spent some time on the run thinking about self-defense should I be attacked on the run. The safest thing would be to not run at all, but that's not an option. Or to run on the treadmill. Again, not a viable option, for me at least. Mace? Pepper spray? What if it's windy and I'm facing the wind when I spray? I wouldn't be able to defend myself with burning, watering eyes, would I? A gun? Not my thing. I'm just not comfortable carrying a gun. If he's reading this, Ted Nugent is shaking his head right now. Maybe he'll make me take his video out of my post.
I do think my fists would be a viable option. Even more effective? Brass knuckles. You could easily run with them, right? Maybe with spikes embedded in the knuckles? Hidden spikes until you press a button, releasing them? The spikes could be embedded with some poison that would be injected into the attacker upon impact! Someone grabs your arm, you swing back and bam! Bye bye creepo!
I've actually given this a lot of thought!
Even better, how about combining them with the already existing Knuckle Lights? Then if you run in the dark, you'll be visible and protected! I'm waiting for the Knuckle Light people to contact me to discuss this idea further. You know where you can find me....and yes, when I become wealthy from this idea, I'm retiring from health care.
|Or a jog bra equipped to shoot...this could work too!|
Is it motivating lyrics? A pounding beat? Something you can sing to? All of the above? Right now I'm tweaking my running playlist. Some songs, I'm just sick of. Spotify makes it easy and guilt free to delete songs. Other songs never get old. I'm trying out some new songs too. I just love to listen to music when I run, which is why #4 above is so important.
In heavy rotation right now are:
Dreamworld--Midnight Oil (an oldie);
World on Fire--Slash and Myles Kennedy;
Jungle--X Ambassadors; and
We'll see if any of them make the cut for my next race in March.
And no, Ted Nugent isn't on my playlist.