Sunday, January 25, 2015

A runner in real life

I received some really great news this week! I was excited to find out that I was selected to be a FitFluential ambassador and a Sweat Pink ambassador!!! I started blogging as a way to connect with other like minded individuals--people who love to run. Blogging also forces me to put a positive spin on whatever topic I'm writing about, because who wants to read something negative, right? What's been really interesting is that putting my positive face forward here on the blog and on Facebook has extended to my life outside of the virtual world as well. I wrote a post on staying positive in the winter, but I think all the things I wrote about apply to life in general. 


I've really enjoyed reading running blogs and finding inspiration through other bloggers. I have been rewarded with some amazing friendships--my local peeps, who I've gotten to know both virtually and personally--and my distance peeps, whom I hope some day to meet in person as well. When I was growing up, I had several penpals, one in Connecticut and one in Sweden, both of whom, through the magic of Facebook, I still keep in touch with. Really, if you think about it, all the runners we meet through blogging and facebook are like adult penpals. We share our triumphs and our failures. We support each other. And being recognized by FitFluential and Sweat Pink was the icing on the cake for me. I hope to continue to inspire and make you laugh. I plan on still being me, no matter what!

Since I've developed these deep, rewarding running friendships, my friendships with non-running women just don't feel the same anymore. I still keep up with a handful of my friends, women that I've been close with over the years. We still have lots of laughs and they even indulge me by asking me about running. That is a true friend, right? But with some of the other women, whom were part of the large group that I socialized with over the years, there's just not much to talk about. When the kids were little, we talked about school and activities. But now that the kids are older and have branched off into their own groups, those superficial relationships have not survived the test of time.

These kids are all in high school now! Some of their friendships have stood the test of time. How about the moms?
Last night I went to a party with the neighborhood ladies. One of the women has a white elephant party every year. I was really ambivalent about going, because being with large groups of women is kind of hard for me. I'm just not great with making small talk and navigating what can be a social minefield. But yesterday, one of my friends called me, told me she was picking me up, and that was that. It was really nice to get caught up with some of the friends I've known for years, mostly since my youngest was in kindergarten. The tone of our gatherings has changed a bit, as we've all aged, and some of my friends have gotten divorced. The gift exchange was hilarious, and I ended up with this ginormous wine glass, which was perfect! 

Can hold a whole bottle of wine! So now, when I say I'm only having one glass of wine, it won't be a lie!
I'm glad I went, but a little of this group goes a long way. Don't get me wrong, I love 90% of these women. But there's always that one person who has to make a comment that I'm not drinking or not gorging myself on the trough of snacks that's always present at these parties or making comments about how "skinny" I am or about how they see me running "all the time".  Last night, as I was leaving, someone made a comment that I was leaving so I could go home and sleep so I could go running in the morning. Well, yes, that was true, but why do you have to call me out on it? As my running friend Penny said, it's the backhand snarky, and it's b.s. 


As I walked home from the party and savored the quiet, calm night--oh, my gosh, those ladies were LOUD!-I thought about all of this. I was still feeling pretty awesome about my week and moving forward on my running and life goals. And even though this wasn't a group that I didn't feel I could share any of this with--very few of them know about my blog and why give them more fuel for the snark machine--the knowledge that I'm moving forward in a positive direction carried me home. Instead of feeling badly about myself that I don't really "fit in" with these ladies, I thought about how lucky I am that I have found people who get me. With my running friends, I don't have to try to be someone I'm not. I get to be me and that is the best feeling in the world.

I'm linking this post with Tara at Running N Reading for her Weekend Update!

57 comments :

  1. congrats! I love the sweat pink community! I've been afraid to apply to fitfluential LOL

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  2. Your post will hit home with so many women. :) It was so well written. You know we (our group) always have your back and like we talked about earlier...we have all been there. I love your attitude and I think you should put your feet up and pour a bottle of wine in that big glass and relax. You had a great run today. Love you, Dick! (I can't type that without getting this biggest snarky smile on my face. xoxoxo

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    1. I think you guys have empowered me to overcome my insecurities with my non-running "friends". I am the luckiest person in the world. Love u Karl!

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  3. Are you my twin? For real... the more posts I read, the more I'm like.. yeah.. that's me (well except the skinny comments ha).. but we are very similar in a lot of ways! And congrats on the #SweatPink and #FitFluential!

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    1. I feel that way too! It's nice to have that connection!

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  4. Enjoy THAT glass of wine. LOL. Huge congrats on SweatPink and FitFluential. My non-running friends look at me like I'm an alien with worms hanging from my nose. Occasionally they will politely ask about it, but most often ignore it. So yeah, there's nothing to talk about. What they said about your bedtime was beyond tacky! Sounds like jealousy to me.

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  5. HELLLLOOOOOOOO SOULMATE! I just don't relate well to people anymore either since really finding my place in the healthy living community. I can meet a blogger and feel like I've known them for ages, and I can meet up with an old friend and be at a total loss for what to talk about.

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  6. YAY! Congrats on the ambassadorships! VERY well deserved I would say.
    I've found the same thing has happened with my friendships. At first it was a little depressing, but I would much rather surround myself with people that have the same interests as I do rather than try to force something. That IS a great wine glass though. :)

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    1. Thank you! I was pretty excited about the wine glass. I wanted to pull it out tonight but my father in law was over and I was forced to share the wine with him...

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  7. Congrats, Wendy! You'll make a great ambassador! :)

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  8. First, congrats!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And I just love this post. I truly can relate! XOXO

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    1. I was surprised how much positive feedback I got on this post. I feel so...dare I say it...normal!

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  9. To be fair I don't get together with non-running friends very often. But when I do, I guess I'm lucky that they speak to me about running with almost a sense of reverence. I think whenever there's snark like that, there's an air of jealousy floating around.

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    1. My non-running friends, the ones who are part of the 90% that I love, do the same with me. But it's that 10%, the snarky ones, that hurt. Why is that?

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  10. congrats and welcome to Sweat Pink, I love it! I guess we all have some of those snarky friends and they are just jealous, that is what I tell myself but they do have a way trying to throw a bomb at a gathering don't they! I do hope we meet at a race one day- I enjoy your blog!

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  11. Congrats. I am a SP ambassador too.

    I can totally relate. My friends are great but they just don't get it.

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    1. Some do and some don't. And some are just plain snarky...

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  12. Congratulations! I'm now a SweatPink Ambassador too. I know how you feel about having some snarky women in your life, or at least people who "mean well". Ugh! Good thing we have our blogs to vent once in awhile!

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    1. Seriously! And I'm so glad to have such an awesome, supportive group here!

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  13. Firstly congrats on becoming a Sweat Pink and Fit Fluential Ambassador!! Secondly, I can totally relate to how you are feeling. I have a few close friends who are non-runners and although they don't run, they get me and understand how important running is to me. Super supportive too! The rest of my friends are all runners. It's just that unspoken bond that we runners have that makes it so easy to have friendships there.

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  14. Congrats on getting chosen to be an ambassador. You will have many fun opportunities coming your way. I feel the same way when I am with my non runner friends too. They just don't get it. -L

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    1. I'm so surprised by how many people have the same experience as me. It's been really great and validating!

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  15. Welcome to the Sweatpink and FF Family! You will Love it!

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  16. Those comments are the worst! I don't get it from my friends but from my BF's friends and acquaintances. Things like oh you're eating a salmon salad for dinner (when we're out) that's so healthy of you...or making comments about how all my instagram pictures are health/running related. So??? It's my passion and hobby...who cares?

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    1. Isn't it the worst? Or people ordering greasy appetizers and making the comment, oh, Wendy won't eat this...

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  17. This post made me realize I don't have many non-running friends! I have felt really out of place in a large group, though! LOL. I am more of a one-on-one or small group gal ;)

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    1. I have a variety of friends...but as I get older, the more I've weeded out the ones who are superficial.

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  18. I think a good, yet polite comeback to a comment like that would be a quick look up and down the person who made it then, "oh yes, you don't do that, do you?" And smile.

    Welcome to the Fitfluential and Sweat Pink communities.You're going to love it here :-)

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  19. I can definitely relate to this! I live in a small town so people see me running all the time. At a kid birthday party last weekend they had extra pizza for the parents and as I chowed down my friend said "I'm surprised YOU eat pizza" loudly so everyone could hear. I had run 18 miles earlier that day and was starving. All I could think to say was "I love pizza". I should have turned it around on her and said "Why?" The lady that challenged you probably had her own insecurities, like my friend does. But if they are going to make a stupid comment, we have a right to question the comment. Of course I never remember this in the moment, but next time I will try to just look confused and question the person as to why she made that statement.

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    1. Haha! And we have pizza every Friday night at my house!

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    2. Us too!!!! Can't wait til tomorrow night!

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  20. Congrats on your new ambassadorships, Wendy; you totally deserve to be connected with others in those communities because your blog is awesome. I wonder whether some of those ladies wish THEY were disciplined enough to leave the alcohol and "treats" at the table and make fitness (and feeling good about themselves) a priority in their own lives. Just saying...your a great friend to continue spending time with them. :) Thanks so much for linking up with the blog again today! Hope your week is off to a good start.

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    1. Awww, thank you Tara! I'm excited to make even more connections!!!

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  21. Congrats on your ambassadorships! They are both great groups.

    I used to get comments all the time about my running, but people are used to me now (and I don't tell them about my true craziness of the back to back races LOL).

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    1. I think that people are used to me but geez, enough with the comments!

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  22. Congrats and welcome to 2 of my favorite communities. So many opportunities and lots of support!
    I relate to being the "whatever" in lots of parts of my life. I was the "horseback rider" before, or the "southerner."
    I like to think that I am beyond definition ;)

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  23. Congrats my friend! Very well deserved!! Love the wine glass, I need one that size to get me through the afternoons around here :)

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  24. Congrats and welcome to the both families :)

    Running is life changing in the most amazing and unexpected ways possible. I'm so glad we have become "friends".

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  25. Congrats! I love both the communities!
    Looking forward to seeing you more and following you!

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  26. Those kind of gatherings can just drain this introvert like crazy. I think that's why I've enjoyed blogging so much :) I don't have to recover in quiet lol
    It's great you've been able to make some real connections through blogging. I still haven't actually met anyone yet, but I do look forward to chatting with others through comments :)

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  27. I'm 23 and I've kind of become the 'lame' one in my group of friends. At first it was because I was very invested in my new healthy living journey and being around unhealthy food and lots of alcohol wasn't the best idea in the beginning. But now, it's because we don't have as much in common. We were brought together by drunken nights and fast food runs and when that was gone, there wasn't much left. So when I try to catch up with them, it's pretty much what you described. At first it used to upset me, but now I just let it roll off my back, because worrying about it doesn't hurt anyone but me. Plus, if they want to be snarky and rude about healthy changes I'm making in my life, I don't need them in my life anyway.

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    1. Good for you! I try not to let it bother me, but it still does...I will say that having this online community and making real life running friends has helped a ton.

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