Thursday, October 26, 2017

Runfessions: October Roller Coaster

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Another month has flown by and with that comes another opportunity to runfess. Do you runfess? On the last Friday of the month, Marcia's Healthy Slice hosts Runfessions. Runners get to bare their soles, and it's all judgment and penance free. It's all good.

Let's get started.



I runfess that I've really been in a running and blogging funk lately. I'm not entirely sure why, but I think with my decline in running performance, I'm not feeling particularly excited about running. Since this is a running blog, my running funk has morphed into a blogging funk as I'm struggling to come up with topics to write about. Although I did get some mileage out of those new Mizunos. I wrote 2 blog posts, after all.


Speaking of those Mizunos, last week while wearing them, I saw some of the fastest splits I've seen in a while! Was it the shoes? Or was it....steroids? Yep, I runfess that last week I was taking corticosteroids for an RA flare. I was on a low dose but still, I wonder...were the speedy paces due to the medication? Or was it because the medication shut off the inflammation due to the flare of my disease? Only time will tell.


I runfess that I'm having some pre-race jitters for Sunday's Hot Chocolate 15k. Seriously? I feel like a virgin on her wedding night. I just don't know what to expect that day. Goals? It all depends on which version of my running self shows up. Will I be able to run without walking? Or will I be using my run/walk intervals for the entire race? I'm seeded into Corral B, which was a surprise. If nothing else, I'll get a head start to the finish line. And yes, finishing is my goal.


I runfess that I have not been the best Rock 'N' Blogger and I'm really sorry about that. When I applied to the program, I had visions of traveling to races and meeting up with all the other bloggers! Unfortunately, I had no idea of the RA roller coaster I would be riding on this year. A few weeks ago, I received 4 really cute medals in the mail for a Summer Virtual Race Series that I had no recollection of signing up for. Fortunately, I ran plenty of 5ks on my own this summer, so I feel that I earned them.

My normally camera shy pooch had to be in the picture. I think she liked the medals!
I runfess that I am officially not running RnR Las Vegas. After the LV shooting, I wrote a post sharing my fears about traveling there and running the strip. I heard from a lot of folks about this, all supportive but mostly urging me to reconsider and go to Las Vegas. Even before this all happened, I was already on the fence about the race. Running the way I have been this past couple of months, I can not justify the expense of traveling for a race that I am ill prepared to run. While I am disappointed, I am looking forward to everyone's race recaps and know that all of you will have a fantastic time!


What would you runfess? Tell me something funny. I'm sorry I'm such a downer in what is normally a lighthearted, fun post to write. I runfess that it's been a tough month. Thanks for all your support and sticking with me. Onward and upward!

I'm linking up with Marcia for Runfessions as well as Running on Happy and Fairytales and Fitness for the Friday 5.0.



68 comments :

  1. I'm sorry it's been such a rough month. I have my fingers crossed that you will get things under control soon and return to enjoying running. I hear you on the running slump causing a blogging slump. I've definitely had that happen before.

    -MCM Mama

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    1. Thank you. I hope the slump passes soon. This is uncharted waters for me.

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  2. Yes, upwards and onward, indeed ;-) Although my "summer slump" was nowhere of the caliber as yours, it had me in a funk. When running is snatched away from you (for me it was all in a matter of hours in that operating room), it takes awhile to process and accept reality. Fortunately, my "slump" was one of empowerment as I shifted my focus from the here & now to the big picture instead. I think you're a lot stronger than you realize, and your rally is far from over. Chin up!! ;-)

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    1. I could be more empowered if there was an end in sight, but I think the chronic (as in chronic illness) is finally sinking in. It was much easier to run when I thought that my slump was temporary, like an injury, but now that I see where this is heading, it's a little tougher for me to process.

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  3. I found it so hard to keep blogging this summer when I wasn't running. When running isn't going well, its kind of hard to write blog posts about it. I hope that the steroids and magic shoes will help you have some awesome runs very soon! Good luck in the 15k!

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  4. Noooooooo! I run-fess that I'm truly upset I will not get to meet you in Las Vegas, although I completely and totally understand. I'm selfishly sad as I was really looking forward to it! However, you are taking care of yourself and doing what you need right now and that is very positive so good for you!! Good luck in the 15k this weekend. I'm sure it will be a great adventure no matter what :-)

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    1. I thought about that--that I was going to meet you and all the other bloggers. I know I'm missing out on a big party! I hold out hope that this disease will burn out or calm down so I can be my fun self again!

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  5. I'm beginning to wonder if we're all on the same cycle (ha...the training kind). You are dealing with so much (hellloooooooo, chronic crapola), and I don't blame you for being in a funk. I feel you so hard on the RnR blogging, too -- so much to the point that I don't believe that I have to elaborate on that.

    You'll get where you want to be, boo. It's always nice to look forward to a new month, new week, or new day.

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    1. I'm looking forward to not being committed to any running thing for a while. I need to just figure out where I need to be.

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  6. I runfess I'm looking forward to the social aspect of the race on Sunday but after a horse-dung caliber run yesterday, I'm not too pumped for the actual running part. Hope this dang wind dies down by then! Cheers to a better November for both of us!

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    1. I keep telling myself that there's always those run/walk intervals! I had no problem using them in the spring, WTH is wrong with me now?

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  7. Runfessing from Vidalia, Georgia. On our way to Tybee Island for the grand finale of McBRAAM! I brought running gear on this trip, but providing SAG to 2 cyclists is more complicated than I expected.

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    1. Oh, I am so excited about this! I can't wait to read your recap!

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  8. Sorry to hear that October has been a rough month for you. Hopefully November bring you a better month. Have a great time at the Hot Chocolate race, regardless if you have to run/walk it. Having fun is the most important thing.

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    1. Yep, my goal is to turn things around. November first is the kickoff!

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  9. I completely understand the blog funk. I've lost my writing mojo for sure right now. About Vegas.... running is an expensive sport when it comes to travel and if it's not in your heart you've made the right choice.

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    1. I have no regrets about not going, except for missing out on meeting all my blogging friends! Could I just go for the party?

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  10. I am sorry to hear that you had such a rough month. I felt like that all summer. I think it's normal to go through cycles with running but add in your RA symptoms which you cannot control, and it's doubly frustrating. I understand your decision not to go to Vegas and I am sure your friends will too. Hope this weekend's race gives you a little booost

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    1. Thank you! I hope it's fun and if I cross that finish line, I'll be happy.

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  11. Sorry you have had such a shitty month. But really Wendy, doping? I thought you were above that! I hope that made you laugh ;-) Your virgin on her wedding night cracked me up. My 88 year old mom finds all kinds of conversations where she adds "well I guess I'm the only one in the room who was a virgin on her wedding night". We all just look at her and say "um, yep!" Just go out and enjoy the Hot Chocolate. I really wanted to do it this year, but my great-nephew's Christening is that day in Orland, and I don't think I can swing it. Here's to a better month for you.

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    1. We were talking medical mary jane today at work, so you know I'm feeling crappy.... I'm not there yet, but hey, my rheumatologist offered...

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  12. Aw Wendy. I’m sorry you’re in a funk. I wish I could give you a huge hug right now.

    I don’t blame you for skipping Vegas. I think the only reason I would still even consider going is just for visiting Vegas and getting to hang out with friends. But I would probably bow out, too. If your heart isn’t in it, it’s not in it. And it’s not a cheap trip!

    I hope you have an amazing race this weekend. You deserve it! xxoo

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    1. I feel your virtual hug! And 2018? We need to make plans, my friend. That trail run in Wisconsin has our names all over it.

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  13. Ohh Wendy, I'm so sorry that you will not bring doing RnR Las Vegas as I know you were really looking forward to it :( But I think you might the right decision - you can always run it another year when you are feeling better about your training.

    Sorry to hear that you have had a hard month and I hope that things start looking up for you soon!

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    1. Thank you! I know there will always be another chance to run it...or not!

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  14. I'm sorry Oct has been such a struggle. Maybe the best thing to do for the 15k is just not make any goals at all, and see what the day gives you? I hope you'll be pleasantly surprised!

    I actually do find new shoes seem to give me a boost in pace. I think it's that the cushioning hasn't been beaten down yet. So I try to always buy a new pair about a month before a goal race (not every race!).

    Even before the shootings, the main reason I didn't sign up for Vegas was pretty much like yours. There's been a lot of travel this year, and although we both love Vegas and I'll have FOMO, having already run that race, I just couldn't really justify it. Which was the right decision for me -- I absolutely needed a break from training. I'd been training pretty hard for 18 months. It was time.

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    1. Who me? Not make goals? :p

      Seriously, though this time, I'm just going to go. And like you said, go with what the day gives me.

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    2. I really don't know a whole lot about RA, but does the time of year effect it? Could it be that Fall/Winter makes it worse? I'm sure you know!

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  15. I have no words of advice, but loads, I mean LOADS, of empathy, my friend.

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    1. I'll take it all. Thank you, my friend.

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  16. Ugh! I just wrote a novel of a comment and it disappeared! I guess I can't comment on my iPad anymore. Let's see if I can remember...

    I don't think the corticosteroids have the same effect as the anabolic ones, but we can always home, right?

    One of the things that society does, and that you do to yourself to a certain extent, is to put pressure on us to always keep going, never quit, push through the struggle and the pain. Now you've come up against an opponent that won't let you do that. Yes, you have to keep fighting, what you don't have to do is to be so harsh on yourself. Running isn't only about running faster and longer. It's also about the joy of getting out there, no matter how fast. Change is hard and made doubly so because for you it wasn't progressive, it was dumped on you over a period of a few months. You will adapt, and that isn't a bad thing. You will still be a runner, just a different one. (I said it better the first time, but that's it in a nutshell.)

    I also get the blogging slump. I'm in one myself right now, mostly because of the time it takes (not the writing part, the rest of it). I get pressure to get off the computer or my phone, which makes it hard too. Remember that you don't have to post 3 or 4 times a week. I cut back to twice a week, sometimes three if I have a sponsored post, but my traffic is higher than ever. You're an inspiration to many, but you don't have to be there daily.

    Mostly I don't want you to be so hard on yourself.

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    1. Ha! The corticosteroids won't make me big but they will help me run faster...

      I love that you get it. That yes, things went downhill in a hurry for me. But then it teases me with some fast runs...

      The not so hard on myself part is a work in progress.

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  17. Wendy I'm sorry you're in a funk right now. RA keeps throwing you curveballs, but the way you've handled everything continues to amaze and inspire me. Here's to November being a better month!

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  18. I've been in a slump this week. I'm still excited for Vegas, but I haven't had a day off from work since Labor Day, so I'm ready for a break. I'm ready for the race and have a break from running. In general, I just need a break from life.

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    1. Oh, do I feel you on that!!! Too bad we can't take a break from life.

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  19. Sorry to hear about RNR Vegas but I'm sure that's the right decision. Those are often the most difficult ones to make! That stinks that you've been in a slump. October has definitely been an interesting month for me and I've been all over the map. I've got my fingers crossed that November is better and I'll cross them for you, too! Glad to see you're still hitting it in the gym - nice deadlift, btw!

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    1. Thank you--I'll take those crossed fingers and cross back for you to have a good month in November too!!

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  20. Sorry to hear you've been feeling so low - no advice, just empathy and hope for an uptick soon.

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  21. LOL on the steroids. You earned whatever boost they might be giving you!

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    1. I'm not ashamed and hoping they linger into the weekend...

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  22. I love that photo of your dog with the medals! And it sounds like the decision about not doing Vegas has brought you some peace. That's how I always know I've made the right decision :)

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    1. Yep, once I told my husband to call off the search for a cheap flight, I felt much better. We're planning a date in Chicago that day.

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  23. It can be really hard to have a blog about running when you aren't feeling like it! It is way easier to have a blog about running when you CAN'T run! Because then you can talk about coping with it. Give yourself time. Maybe with the change in seasons you will find that you feel differently

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    1. You know of what you speak. Here's hoping both of us find our way again.

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  24. If the steroids help with running -- then, hell yeah! I'm sorry about the slumpy month. (HUGS) I just think we need to get together for a fun girls weekend soon. The perfect antidote, yes? Good luck with Hot Chocolate. FOMO here.

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    1. I hope that someone plans something soon!

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  25. I think you are doing amazing things staying as active as you are (and working! and parenting!) in the middle of an RA flare. Adding blogging on top of that is a reach, so give yourself a pat on the back for continuing. I hope you will go into remission soon.

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    1. From your lips to God's ears. I'm so ready to be in remission.

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  26. Good luck at your 15k! I am trying to think... I don't think I ever did a 15k. Have you? Possible instant PR!?

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    1. Sadly, this will be my 2d 15k. Not sure I will PR this one.

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  27. I totally feel you.
    My running is non-existent right now, which means I am finding it very hard to blog.
    Sorry you are feeling the same way.

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    1. You seem to be holding it together quite well. I seriously thought I was losing it this week. I'm better today. The blog post helped and all the support here is amazing.

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  28. I always appreciate your honest in your posts! I have been in a rut too since my half marathon a couple of weeks ago. I'm hoping to gain more inspiration to blog, but it just feels good to read what everyone else is up to!

    Sorry you're not going to do Vegas, I don't blame you for your decision at all. I do wish that we could have crossed paths at one of these RNR races - we need to meet!

    Hoping for a gentler ride for you in November!

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    1. We do need to meet! I am hoping that I'm done with the doldrums and will be heading up and out of this slump.

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  29. It's so hard to make the decision to not do a race, particularly harder when it's a more well-known one and travel is involved.... but I'm sure you are making the right decision for you... hope your funk doesn't last long

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    1. This funk has been going on way longer than I've admitted to. I try to keep things positive but I kind of hit rock bottom the last week or so. Hoping that I'm done with all that.

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  30. I runfess that I am NOT loving training for my January marathon right now. I'm tired and cranky and not very good company for my BRF (who puts up with me, anyway). I also runfess that I don't come to your blog for "sunny, sunny, rainbows, and flowers", either. I come to your blog for YOU, so if you are in a funk, so be it! I'm not a fan of the overly cheery, nothing-is-ever-wrong bloggers, because that seems, shall we say, *difficult* to believe. Do you, sister!

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    1. Thank you! I do hold back because trust me, if I did me, you'd run away! I'm trying to keep it light and positive, but yep, the last couple of weeks have just sucked. I sure do appreciate your support and I hope that you push through your training to get to that starting line in January!

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  31. I'm so sorry things have been rough for you. I hope you find a healthy balance for tackling your goals and staying as healthy as possible.

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  32. I am sorry to hear things have not been going well for you. I've been in a running funk too but mine is more for selfish reasons. I signed up to be a pacer for Saturday morning runs so hopefully that will get me excited to run again.

    Have a great race on Sunday! Now I wish I would have signed up.

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    1. I'm surprised you didn't! It's going to be cold, tho...

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  33. I hope you shake your running funk soon - I feel ya on the blogging funk!

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    1. I think it's a matter of adjusting my expectations for what I can accomplish. It's really hard for me, but it's time. I'm driving myself crazy trying to push so hard.

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  34. I'm sorry it's been a rough month. I do admire you keeping up with your blog and continuing to write. I always go dark when my training isn't anything specific.

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