10 Tips for Survival when You Are Married to a Non-Runner

My husband has a love-hate relationship with my running. When we dated and were first married, I didn't run. So he did not marry a runner. In my late 20s and early 30s, my lifelong struggle with anxiety became unmanageable. I started working out at a gym where there was a 1/4 mile indoor track. One thing led to another and eventually, I began running. Who knew that I would love it so much? Over time, the major benefit of all that running was that it made my anxiety subside.

So now he's married to a runner.

We are very different, my husband and I. He's the Yin to my Yang. The cream in my coffee. The butter on my bread. The bacon to my eggs. Why all the food analogies? Read on...

My husband knows that not only do I love to run, I need to run. He's ok with that. For the most part, we've come to a peaceful existence, my non-running spouse and I. How do we make it work? What's the secret to success for a runner who's married to a non-running spouse?

I'm having an affair...with running

I've got something to confess. I know, runfessions isn't until Friday. But it's been weighing heavily on my conscience.

I'm having an affair.

Happily married? Sure. But my heart doesn't belong to one. Before you start to judge, my affair isn't with another person.

I'm in love with running. This isn't anything new. But for the last couple of weeks, it seems to have taken on a new importance.

Sing it with me: (with apologies to Billy Paul) "Me-eee, I-IIII, me and the road, me and the road, me and the roooad....we've got a thing, going on. We both know that it's wrong. But it's much too strong...."

This past weekend, my husband and I were planning the rest of our trip to California. We picked out hotels and talked about sightseeing after the Big Sur Marathon. We went to the California coast for our honeymoon, 27 years ago. This time around, we want to see some of the things we missed.

27 years ago in San Francisco

"It's going to be our second honeymoon!" I exclaimed.

"It is NOT a second honeymoon," my husband said. "We're going because you're running."

Stunned, I didn't know how to respond. I mean, so what I'm running? We would not be taking this trip if it weren't for running. Right? And who encouraged me to put my name into the Big Sur marathon lottery in the first place? Hmm? Mr Man?

He didn't answer me that one.

My husband has always had a love/hate relationship with my running. He supports me, no doubt. He's always proud when I finish a race, and he loves to hear my finish times. The medals always make him smile. I hear him bragging about my running accomplishments to other people. But he's always been a little ambivalent about it. He makes snide comments about all the time I spend training. The blog. I've never been quite sure why.

So when Deb posted this week's word prompt: faithful, I started thinking about this a little bit.

When I look at my running like an affair, well, I guess I can see things a little more clearly.

I looked up some signs that indicate your spouse is cheating on you and applied them to running:

-Your spouse starts dressing better. Well, isn't that the truth? I've made no secret of my obsession with running clothes. Who wants to run in baggy old sweats?

Tell me these Athleta tights aren't on point...

-Your spouse frequently disappears out of the blue. Well, I do tell him where I'm going but sometimes I run farther than I planned.

My 3 hour bike ride? ooops....

-Dropping another person's name into the conversation. I do talk about running a lot.

-Excessive internet usage is a red flag. Guilty as charged. I sit in front of the TV with my laptop opened all the time. Posting my runs, blogging, connecting with other like minded folks...

-Your spouse starts forgetting everything you tell them and/or you have to repeat everything you've told them. Their thoughts are elsewhere. What?

-Your spouse starts encouraging you to have an interest all your own. I've been really supportive of his home brewing. Sampling the beers. Isn't that what a supportive spouse does?

-Your spouse comes home and heads straight to the shower. To wash away any signs of infidelity. But really, is this wrong to do after a run?

When I look at it, the signs are all there. It appears that I may not be the faithful spouse that I pride myself on.

But if cheating by running is wrong, well then...I don't want to be right.

Do you have a jealous spouse when it comes to running? How do you balance your marriage and your love for running?

I'm linking up with DebRuns for Wednesday Word. Today's word is faithful. I can't wait to see what everyone has to say about this one!

I'm also linking up with Wild Wednesday: AngelenaMarie, Annmarie, Nicole, and Michelle are hosting the party! Check out Annmarie's bluetooth headphones giveaway!