Runfessions --August

Say it ain't so! We've reached the end of August and summer is winding down. I'm not ready! August was a busy month--I think I packed in as much as I could. No regrets about any of it, but I do have some runfessions. Because there's always something to runfess...

Let's head into the runfessional so I can clear my sole. Pun completely intended.

You Are Stronger Than You Think

Last week I was at CrossFit, working on the weekly challenge. To improve grip strength, we had to hold all kinds of things for a total of 3 minutes. The weights of the items (plates, kettlebells, etc) were prescribed by the workout. But 53# kettlebells? I didn't think I could do it. I opted for 35# kettlebells and was standing with them when one of the other participants, a 60-something PT who has no filter, started ridiculing me for scaling the lift. I defended my choice. She kept at it and I started to get upset. She said to me; You are stronger than you think. Her son, who is one of the coaches, chimed in. He commented that I wasn't even struggling, that those 35# kettlebells were too light for me.

Fighting tears, my voice cracking, I told them to stop. Fine. I put down the 35# kettlebells and picked up the 53# pair. I held them one minute before I put them down to give my hands a rest. You held them for a minute? he said. See? You are stronger than you think. I finished the exercise, holding them for 2 consecutive minutes. When I was done, he and his mother congratulated me. I told them they were mean and the mood lightened.

Why did I get so upset? There's no crying at CrossFit, right? Why did I think I couldn't hold those kettlebells? Would I have pushed myself to lift heavier without that 'encouragement'? Am I holding back when I could be doing more?

Can I Still Call Myself a Runner?

It's been a few weeks since I've posted a training recap. Summer's kept me hopping! As much fun as I've been having, the training hasn't stopped. I'm not training for anything official, though. I have a half marathon on the calendar in September but unless some sort of running miracle happens, that race is going to be a DNS.

For me right now, running is kind of a non-thing. I've been pretty much phoning in my runs this summer. As much as I consider myself a runner, the fact of the matter is that for the past 6 months, running has felt hard. God knows I've whined about it enough here on the blog. I've given up trying to figure out why. And you know what else? I'm not really bothered by it right now. I've been so busy staying active doing other things that the low mileage hasn't affected me. I'm sure that come fall when life slows back down, the running struggle is going to become real again.

Maybe the cooler temperatures will bring some kind of running miracle? A runner can only dream. Who am I kidding? With the almost non-existent mileage that I'm logging right now, can I even call myself a runner?

Random Friday Thoughts

Guys, I got nothing for today except a bunch of random thoughts that alone don't add up to a whole blog post. It's been a busy, big couple of weeks. This week has been all about recovery--both physical and mental. Indulge me while I share some of my ruminations from Wednesday's run.

The Joy of Running

I received The Joy of Running from Penguin RandomHouse in exchange for my honest review. This post contains affiliate links.

Seriously, how do you find joy while running in this hot, sticky blast furnace of a summer?

You find a way to make it work. You talk yourself through the tough spots using positivity instead of complaining about how much it sucks. It does suck. We all know running in the heat and humidity sucks. Telling yourself it sucks isn't going to make it feel better. You're out there, you're moving, you're sweating, you're doing it.

Maybe you slow down so you can get there. Maybe you change your goals. Maybe, like me, you drop your distance. While I'd love nothing more than to get some long runs done to prepare for my fall half, my body doesn't want to do that in this heat. I'm making peace with the fact that I can't always get what I want out of this body. I do what I can with what the day gives me.

The win isn't in the finish time, the win is the finish. That is what brings me joy. Never give up.

Wednesday's hot 5

Hot Fun

The heat is on! This week was a warm one and looking ahead we've got more of the same to come. The weather this year has been wacky, from that polar vortex in January, to all that rain in May and June, and to this blast furnace we are currently enduring. What's a runner to do?

We adapt and make the best of it. There were early morning runs and late nights on the patio listening to music and hanging out with the boys. Lots of hydration. Summer is all about fun, right?

Turning My Frown Upside Down

G*d d*mn Mother Nature! What is wrong with our weather? This week was so freaking hot and humid that I felt like I moved to Florida. We had absolutely no adjustment period, just zipped from the 60s to the 90s in one week. Last week I wrote about it, this week I'm whining about it.

Fortunately, we're going to get a break from the heat, at least for a few days. Summer in the Midwest is usually a really pleasant time of year when we can sit outside in the sunshine and not dehydrate from sweating so much. Running can be a challenge, but getting up and out the door to beat the heat is usually the best course of action.

There was no beating the heat this week. Except indoors with the AC turned up to 11. Funny how that works. I have to bring a sweater to work because it's so cold inside!

The Heat is On!

While I wasn't loving the cool summer we were having, it did make for some really nice runs. I'm glad I had those because now it is hot and whew, have my runs been suffering. So much for the return to the kind of running I'm used to. It's become all about putting miles in the bank, maintaining fitness until the return of cooler weather.

I'm not going to complain about the heat, though. Besides my runs, I'm loving that it is finally summer! I guess you can't have it all. Even though the running wasn't the best, there was a lot of good happening this week. Let's get to it.

It's All Good

I think whatever was plaguing my body for the past couple of months has finally left the building. Yes, I'm feeling like myself again!

If you've been following me, you know that I've been struggling with fatigue and general malaise since February. While my rheumatologist tells me it's not RA, my internist and I believe differently. I received the new shingles vaccine in February and probably what happened is that the vaccine triggered a flare. I'm certainly not anti-vaccine but I do have an autoimmune disease and it makes sense to think that this could have flared my RA.

Regardless, it was frustrating for me.

The past couple of weeks, I've had more energy and this week, I've felt pretty much "normal" again. I had 3 good runs totaling 19 miles, which is the most I've run in several months. Bootcamp and strength training went well too.

It's all good!

Finding that Running Sweet Spot

While the perfect run is elusive, most runners have runs where they find their running "sweet spot". It's that point in the run where the run feels almost effortless, almost as if you are flying. The sweet spot is where you feel as if you could run forever. Some call it "the zone". Some call it "finding your flow". Whatever you call it, if you've hit the sweet spot, you'll know. This is the kind of run that reminds why you became a runner in the first place.

You don't have to be running fast to hit the sweet spot, as I found out this week. It's been a long time since I've had a run that felt good like that. Running has not made me happy lately, but I just keep going because it's what I do. Plus I knew that I'd find my groove again and on Wednesday, I did.

And Now Back to Our Regularly Scheduled Program Already in Progress...

Oh.My.Gosh.

Can I just say how good it feels to feel good again? I knew I had been feeling bad, but looking back over the past month, that was probably the toughest I've had to endure since my initial diagnosis with RA 2 1/2 years ago. I did my best to stay positive, especially here on the blog. I just want to thank everyone for sticking by me while I worked through the flare. The pain is so much better and the fatigue is resolving.

What doesn't kill you makes you stronger, right? Well, I brought some strength to my workouts this week! It's back to work.

A Change in Perspective

In the midst of the never ending winter and my ongoing health issues came an invite from my southern sister from another mister. Holly, who used to co-host the Weekly Wrap link up with me, convinced me to book a flight for a weekend visit to her new lake house. She found a trail race for us. I looked for flights and found a great deal.

After I booked my flight, I had second thoughts. What if I don't start to feel better? Will I be able to run? Even more important, will I be able to water ski? Will she still want to hang with me?

What the heck was I worried about?

I've Got a Good Feeling About This...

It was another frustrating week, health and fitness-wise. I won't harp on it, but my patience and my emotions were starting to fray. I had an appointment with my rheumatologist this week and I spent time prior to the appointment studying up on my condition and my new symptoms so I could be prepared to ask the right questions. Sometimes being a medical provider is a blessing and a curse! I have the knowledge and ability to interpret medical literature but I think that sometimes ignorance is bliss.

On the other hand, it felt really good to take control. At my appointment, my doctor and I discussed my concerns and options. She made some changes in my medications, including stopping the steroids which were making me really emotional. I left the appointment feeling more optimistic than I have in a while. Time will tell if the new medication will work but based on everything I learned, I have a good feeling about this new plan.

Beautiful Picnic Point overlooking Lake Mendota in Madison

Ramble On

Disclaimer: I received Aspire and Maxus Zero socks from Swiftwick in exchange for my honest review. This post contains affiliate links.

"I guess I'll keep on rambling
I'm gonna
Sing my song
I gotta ramble on, sing my song
Gotta work my way around the world
Ramble on, yeah..."
~Led Zeppelin

Doo doo doo, I can't stop singing this song! This was such a better week. Is the medication finally kicking in? Is the inflammation just calming down? Whatever it is, I am thrilled. I found some endurance, rambling down the bike path and around my neighborhood.

Forward is a Pace

I want to keep on running.

After a little tough love talk from my very wise friend Marcia, I promised myself that I would start to train at an easier, slower pace. After running all these years, when I lace up and hit the road, my legs just go. Sadly, right now my heart doesn't want to keep up. Training these old legs to find a new normal, a slower speed, is much easier said than done. Dialing it down requires a focus on pace and diligence that I haven't used since training for my last marathon 4 years ago.

I'd have to call my week on the road a success as I finished all 3 runs with the distance I set out to do and feeling good.

Fighting the Good Fight

This week seemed to be a turning point for me with both running and my disease. If you are a regular reader of my blog, you know that I am battling the worst flare of rheumatoid arthritis since my diagnosis 2 1/2 years ago. You may be tired of hearing about it. Trust me, I'm tired of dealing with it. As a runner, I'd love nothing more than to share victories than the string of struggles I've been experiencing for the past couple of months. I am frustrated and there are days when I think I should just walk away. I know that would be wrong and because I'm stubborn, I keep trying.

You never know what's around the next corner. So you just keep on fighting. Adjusting the game plan. That's what warriors do.

Things that Make Me Go OOooh!

Disclaimer: I received a pair of OOfos Sandals in exchange for my honest review. 

Feeling good and back at it again this week! There was so much to OOh about. Spring is finally here and along with that warmer temperatures. Best of all, RA, while still making its presence known, has simmered down to low. That in itself was a reason to go oooh!

How to Push Yourself to Work Out When it's the Last Thing You Want to Do

Just like every Thursday is for me, today was strength training and bootcamp day. Last night before I went to bed, I checked out the workout posted on the website and signed up for the class. No hesitation, no rumination. It's my Thursday routine.

This morning, I woke up with a headache. Every joint in my body ached. It was dark, cold, and rainy. I laid in bed and wrestled with thoughts of staying there. I thought about skipping my workout. Cliche or not, the struggle was real.

I made the decision to get up and have a cup of coffee. Coffee makes everything better, right? Still not feeling well, I made a smoothie, took my vitamins, and considered my situation. No one was forcing me to go, right? I could text Sammy Jo and tell her I wasn't feeling well. Or I could take some ibuprofen and try to chase away my headache and joint pain.

What do you think I did? I think you know. Not only did I start to feel better, but I also had a great workout. I lifted heavy on my deadlifts. I made it through 5 rounds of a tough AMRAP that included a total of 1750m of running.

You never know if you don't try, right?

Facing My Fears

I received a pair of SoleHealers in exchange for my unbiased review. All opinions are my own.

Running has done a lot of good things for me. Health benefits aside, probably one of the best things I've gotten from running is confidence and the ability to do hard things. After failing so horribly at my first attempt at the marathon, I didn't think I could ever face that distance again. But...

Three years later, I lined up and ran a 1 hour and 10 minute PR at the marathon. What changed for me?

During that time frame, I started working with a CrossFit coach to correct some imbalances that were causing recurring injuries. As she worked with me to strengthen my posterior chain, she pushed me into the red zone on the comfort scale. She made me challenge myself and had me lift heavier than I ever thought I could. As part of my marathon training, along with strength training, she had me do MetCon style workouts which pushed me almost to the point of vomiting. I didn't vomit, and as a result of the hard training, I saw my mile splits improve to times I never dreamed I could run.

I'm not a natural athlete, so none of what I do comes easily to me. Confidence goes a long way to help a person overcome their fears. So does having a person who believes in you and pushes you.

This is How I Know It's Real

Disclaimer: I received NovoRenew in exchange for my honest review. 

Last week, I shared that I was in the midst of another flare of rheumatoid arthritis. I know I share my issues with RA pretty often on the blog. I'd rather not, but RA is my reality and it often affects my training. When I'm having a bad week of training, I have to ask myself if it is due to illness, menopause, aging, or RA.

Thankfully, this week, for the most part, I feel like myself again. The steroids did their job, shutting off the inflammation. I'm running faster, my legs feel light, and my strength training went really well, even hitting a 5 rep PR doing push presses. For 3 sets.

This is how I know it's real.