Dreams

I don't know what happened to me when I turned 40, but I was determined to turn some lifelong dreams into reality. In my 40s, I achieved a couple of big goals. Huge, actually. I went back to school while my boys were in grade school, to become a pediatric nurse practitioner. About 15 years prior, in my 20s, I started to pursue that dream, but anxiety and life got in the way. I finished my masters' degree but never finished the coursework required for the NP program. I told my husband one day that I needed to do this. When he balked, I told him that I didn't want to be in my 60s and look back on my life with any regrets. And as it turns out, pursuing that degree was the best thing I could have done. I'm working in the job of my dreams, in the clinic where I get to learn, teach, and care for kids. Imagine that! I still can't believe it. Well, ok, reality does kick in, but I wouldn't want to be working anywhere else. Next stop, the beach....

Retire here? If I could I would...

In my 40s, I began racing again, but this time bit off a big chunk by running my first half marathon, the Door County half, after my mom suggested it. This race is run in northern Wisconsin, a beautiful resort community where I spent all my childhood summers. What better place to get my feet wet, so to speak, in beautiful Peninsula State Park, along the waters of Green Bay? I finished that hilly half in 2:02! After realizing that 13.1 miles wasn't a big deal to train for, I ran a few more halfs. I loved the distance of 13.1. And I fell in love with long distance running. I also put to rest that nagging doubt that I wasn't a "real runner" by running the Chicago marathon at age 49. Of course, we all know that race wasn't the best outcome, but I did it, and I crossed it off the bucket list.

Door County half marathon

As I turned 50, I told my husband that I didn't know what was next. All these big dreams and life goals--including becoming a mother--done. My husband, who isn't a dreamer, just kind of shrugged his shoulders. The guy keeps me grounded. A little more than I like...

But in my 50s, my dreams became more specific to staving off old age. I decided that I didn't want the inevitable to happen--blue hair, cribbage games, wearing Depends, and crocheting doileys. I wanted to still be able to get up on one waterski and to slalom. A few summers ago, at the urging of my sons, I tried wakeboarding, and while it scared the hell out of me, I was pretty proud of myself that I did it. I continued to run and do yoga, but after researching what I needed to do to stay fit, I began cross training and building strength. My awesome coach Becky had me lifting enormous amounts of weights and I began saying to myself, "who's old?" I got up the courage to re-do that Chicago marathon and bested my effort from 3 years ago, finally feeling that I ran the race I was supposed to run.

Oh yeah! Who's old?

But wait, there's more?

Since then, I continue to run faster. So besides running another Chicago marathon this fall, I've put it out there that I want a sub-4 finish time. Isn't that enough?

Nope. Do you even know me?

What do you think my ultimate dream could be? What's so monumental about that sub-4? Are you over 50? Because then you might have a clue.... Dare I say it? I don't want to jinx myself....

My BQ is 4:00:00. Yep, at age 50, the Boston Marathon qualifying time is 4:00:00. For a while, I've been quietly thinking about this. A lot. I've had some pretty good successes with my races this past year, and if I'm going to do it, I think now is the time. I won't lie. I'm scared. Really scared. Never in a million miles did I ever think I could actually qualify for Boston. Until this year. I've had multiple PRs and AG awards. I'm starting to believe...

A 4 hour marathon is 9:09 mins/mile. I've been running races much faster than that. Can I sustain that time for 26.2 miles? I'm starting to believe that I can. My coach says she has no doubt I can do it. The owner of the CrossFit box where I train--himself a veteran of many marathons including Boston says he has no doubt I can qualify. I'd be over the moon if I got to run Boston. If I got there, I wouldn't care what my finish time was--just to be able to qualify for and run the iconic race? Isn't this the ultimate goal for most of us?

Yikes. That's a big dream. And that's my dream. And it's scary.

Time to pull out that mantra from last year's marathon training.

Do you have a dream that scares you?

I'm linking up to DebRuns and Wednesday Word:

And Diatta and Sheila at Workout Wednesday!