Running in a Bubble

I'm fortunate to be a part of a really supportive running community. It's really like a protective little bubble. We all really encourage each other. When one of us trips, someone is there to pick them up. Be it with words or a kind gesture, our running bubble feels just like one big happy family.

Until it doesn't.

This week, someone posted this comment in a thread in one of the online fitness groups that I belong to:

" I don’t think people should train for a half on 3 days a week. Nothing wrong with 3 days a week, but run a 10k... in my opinion of course"

This comment was in response to a call-to-action seeking opinions on interesting fitness topics to write about. One of the choices was training for a half marathon on 3 days of running, which was a very popular choice within the group. However, the commenter struck a nerve with more than a few of the group members, many of whom run successfully on 3 days of training per week.

Unfortunately, in an attempt to excuse himself, the original commenter dug an even deeper hole.

"I should clarify that yes you can do it, but it’s not ideal. I think you need to run more mileage than 3 days a week can safely produce to run 13.1 miles well...Everyone is correct that it’s what works for them. I came from a college running program where I was running 90 miles a week. I’m certainly not doing that now, which is why I feel I could never run a half marathon on such little running. It’s my bias and I shouldn’t shout from the rooftops my feelings."

Reading these comments stung. It upset me more than I care to admit, piercing my already fragile runner's soul. In fact, I bit back at him and called him out for what he said, as did a few others in the group. When I went out for my long run the next day, I ruminated about his remarks.

I don't know if I struggled on my run because I was upset about the post or if I was just having another bad day, but no matter how hard I tried I couldn't shake off the funk. I'd make an effort to clear my mind and focus on my run, but I kept going back to his comments.

This bad run, one in a series of recent bad runs, added yet another bruise to my hurting ego.

Why did these comments bother me so much?

It's no secret that for the past year or so, I've been having troubles with running. In spite of my woes, I've continued to train and run half marathons. It's been mentally difficult for me to see my paces declining. I've even had thoughts of giving up running--or at least long distance running. Can you imagine? I've been a runner for over 25 years. While I've never been fast, I've embraced my place in the middle of the pack and continue to challenge myself with tough workouts.

Comments like the one made in the fitness group reminded me that not everyone embraces the middle of the pack or the back of the pack philosophy. My measly 25 miles per week is not worthy of a half marathon? I've never run anything close to 90 miles per week. I don't think that even at the height of my fitness that 90 miles was remotely possible! What about those run/walk intervals? Am I even a real runner anymore?

I shudder to think what the commenter's opinion would be of my CrossFit inspired marathon training from a few years ago. I trained on 3-4 runs per week, 2 days of cross-training, and my peak mileage week was 38 miles. At age 52, I ran 4:17 at the Chicago Marathon and had the race of my life. I recovered without injury and went on to run a 1:52 half marathon 6 weeks later. My longest run for that race was a 10 miler and I maintained my usual weekly mileage of 25 miles.

After I ran the Walt Disney World half marathon in 2011, my family and I were on the airport shuttle with a bunch of other runners. I remember there was this couple on the shuttle, wearing their half, full and Dopey medals. They just oozed with confidence. Someone asked the woman about her races and her offhand "NBD" answer struck me as dismissive. Remember, I only ran the half. It was as if we weren't worthy.

Runners can be like this. It's been so long since I've encountered this elitist attitude that I forgot what it feels like. Oh, there was that guy I tried to make small talk with at the Lakefront 10 miler in April who acted like he didn't know that the Boston Marathon took place the week before.

Riiiiiight. Being dissed by an elitist jerk never feels good.

This post is an effort to offer my rebuttal to the commenter above. This post is an effort to make myself feel better about what I do on the road. This post is also for all the middle and the back of packers who are just doing their best to chase a dream or a goal. I saw a lot of them out there last weekend on my long run. They encouraged me as much as I encouraged them with a smile or a wave. That's what those of us in the bubble do.

There were also plenty of runners out there who didn't acknowledge my smile or wave, as if I didn't exist. That never feels good.

Allowing negativity to just roll off my back has never been easy for me. I am a perfectionist and I always push myself to be my best. It doesn't take much for self-doubt to seep into my brain. I am valiantly trying to get my head around getting older and slower. It's harder than you can imagine.

The nice benefit of our running bubble is the support of all the members of the group. If one of the runners shares a question or an issue, the response is always positive and encouraging. Having been on the receiving end of that support, I can vouch for the effectiveness of that kind of sustenance.

Is that a bad thing? If lifting each other up is wrong, then I don't want to be right.

A big part of my "success" on the road is due to the people I surround myself with. My best running has taken place since I started my blog. I give credit to my running friends, who give me encouragement to keep on keeping on. My blog readers, who took the time to read my recent post about a particularly difficult run and leave thoughtful comments and suggestions gave me the courage to attempt to run long again. My social media followers who tell me what an inspiration I am to them keep me running.

I don't aspire to inspire. But when you hear these comments enough, you start to think that you're doing something right. That even though running is very hard for me right now, I'm going to keep on going because someone out there thinks I'm doing ok.

While I don't run to prove anything to anyone but myself, hearing positive affirmations sure beats being told that what you're doing doesn't matter. That you're not trying hard enough. That your best effort just isn't good enough. That because you don't run every day or 90 miles per week, you're not "safe" to run a certain distance.

If nothing else, the comments I reacted to strongly to have served a purpose for me. Those comments only strengthened my resolve to continue to train for my half. I'll do it my way. I'll try to give myself grace. I'll continue to work on my mental game and on accepting the kinder, gentler, slower runner I'm aging into. It's not easy and giving myself grace is a work in progress. Pardon me for feeling a bit tender about it.

Drop down to a 10k? Not this runner.

Hey, we're all runners, right? If I run the same race as you, I'll receive the same medal. Even if I finish an hour or 2 after you. If I feel good about my training and my effort, nothing else should matter.

Especially not an elitist opinion. Let's build each other up, not tear each other down.

Now that I've said what's on my mind, I can let it go.

I want to thank the commenter for giving me food for thought and to reaffirm why I run. Let's all continue to support each other. Give someone encouragement, no matter how much you're struggling. And thank you to all of you who lift me up!

I'm linking this post with Marcia, Erika, and Patti for Tuesdays on the Run and Debbie, Marc, Lora, and Rachel for Running Coaches' Corner.