Why Runners Should "Keep it Real"

After I posted yesterday about my race fail from Sunday aka my first ever DNF, the floodgates of support opened. I was overwhelmed and touched by all the messages I received from other runners, readers, and followers. It's humbling and it's amazing how much we all care about each other. One comment that I received multiple times and that stood out to me was: "thanks for keeping it real."

I never gave it much thought that so many people aren't "keeping it real". When I think about it, though, keeping it real is probably the exception rather than the rule. Fitspo? Curated feeds? Humble brags?

Regular readers know I always "keep it real" here on my blog. If I've learned nothing else in life, I've learned this--as much as we think our experiences are unique, there is someone else out there who has gone through the same thing. I grew up with a mother whose goal in life was to fit in. Whenever I would voice insecurities or something random to her, her response was always: "I've never heard of that". What a way to make me feel like a weirdo. As a young girl trying to form her own identity, it's no wonder that I was lacking in the confidence to be me. Instead of embracing individuality, conformity and perfection were the goals--two things that I failed miserably at. I was an awkward and uncomfortable young adult trying to be someone I was not. It took me years to shed that image.

You know you've always wanted to do this. I just did it for you.

My mom still pulls out the "I've never heard that" comment--no matter what we are talking about. Now, instead of being intimidated, I roll my eyes. If she saw some of the pictures I shared on social media, she'd probably be mortified. I have confidence and life experience that allows me to stand up to her. Instead of fitting in, I'm standing out. I'm comfortable enough in my own skin to say what's on my mind and share my failures as much as my wins. Maybe I lean too much towards the oversharing department, but I figure that there has to be someone out there who's been there, done that too. Beth Risdon from Shut Up and Run made it ok to talk about GI issues on the run and believe it or not, that made me realize that I wasn't the only one with this problem. Maybe this isn't such a big deal to you all, but growing up in a house where we didn't talk about "personal problems" and where "fart" was a swear word, this was liberating to me. How sad is that? I wouldn't even run with other people for fear of "that" happening on the run. I still won't wear white shorts, though.

It's not what you think. It was just a really tough speedwork session and I needed to catch my breath.

Is there anything better than someone saying to you, "that's happened to me too"?

That's why it's so important for all of us on social media to portray our real selves. Social media has upped the comparison game and made it tougher for us to be true to who we are. We all have those Facebook friends who seem to have the perfect life. It always seems that when I'm having a bad day or I'm upset with one of my boys, a certain woman in my neighborhood posts a picture of her teenagers hugging her with the hashtag "blessed". A lot of fitness bloggers do the same thing--posting their great workouts, PR race results, and their successes. In reality, we know that no one has a perfect life or always runs a perfect race. My fails seem to get at least as many views, if not more, than my regular posts! My RA journey has brought me more support than I could have hoped for. The key is to keep it positive, even when keeping it real. No one needs to read a rant about someone's ex-husband or a self-pitying post about how bad their life is. Someone always has it worse and that's important to keep in mind. There's a fine line between keeping it real and airing your dirty laundry.

After my diagnosis with RA. It was a tough, sad run.

There is on social media an amazing community of "real" women runners that support each other. This "real runner" community started with Dimity and Sarah from Another Mother Runner but has inspired so many of us to share our own journeys.Yesterday reminded me of how wonderful this community truly is. Marcia from Marcia's Healthy Slice, who is always the voice of reason, completely validated my feeling that pushing myself to finish a 10k when I was feeling bad just wasn't worth it. Instead of spending the day beating myself up, you guys all lifted me up and made me realize that not only was it ok to fail, it was ok to share my fail. After all, I could have just posted the picture of Steph and me and put in a caption or a quote. No one would have been the wiser. That's not my style.

The infamous frosty runner picture that made the AMR page! 

If I wasn't real, if I was just interested in curating an image and promoting myself, I wouldn't have made all the wonderful connections that I have through this blog. When I started my blog, my goals were to share my running story and connect with other women runners. I never dreamed so much good would come from this little space. By keeping things real, we all learn from each other. By keeping it real, we're building each other up. By keeping things real, we make everyone around us better. Instead of trying to be something you're not, be who you are. Running is not always pretty. Running is real.

What do you like to see on social media? What inspires you to be your best self? Thank you all for your kind words of support and for sticking with me here on the blog! 

I'm linking up with Tuesdays on the Run: Marcia, Erika, and Patti; Deb Runs for Wednesday Word, which fittingly is "improve"; and Coaches' Corner: Debbie, Lara, Susie, and Rachel.