You Are Stronger Than You Think

Last week I was at CrossFit, working on the weekly challenge. To improve grip strength, we had to hold all kinds of things for a total of 3 minutes. The weights of the items (plates, kettlebells, etc) were prescribed by the workout. But 53# kettlebells? I didn't think I could do it. I opted for 35# kettlebells and was standing with them when one of the other participants, a 60-something PT who has no filter, started ridiculing me for scaling the lift. I defended my choice. She kept at it and I started to get upset. She said to me; You are stronger than you think. Her son, who is one of the coaches, chimed in. He commented that I wasn't even struggling, that those 35# kettlebells were too light for me.

Fighting tears, my voice cracking, I told them to stop. Fine. I put down the 35# kettlebells and picked up the 53# pair. I held them one minute before I put them down to give my hands a rest. You held them for a minute? he said. See? You are stronger than you think. I finished the exercise, holding them for 2 consecutive minutes. When I was done, he and his mother congratulated me. I told them they were mean and the mood lightened.

Why did I get so upset? There's no crying at CrossFit, right? Why did I think I couldn't hold those kettlebells? Would I have pushed myself to lift heavier without that 'encouragement'? Am I holding back when I could be doing more?

Week in review:
Sunday: run 3 miles
Monday: CrossFit
Tuesday: rest
Wednesday: Run 5 miles, Yoga with Adriene
Thursday: strength train, bootcamp (ran 1950m), finish up weekly challenge
Friday: rest
Saturday: 8 miles, Yoga with Adriene
Total: 17.26 miles

I've struggled with confidence issues since I was young. Certainly, as I've grown older, I've become more comfortable in my skin, my job, and as a runner. Intimidated by other athletes, never feeling like I could measure up, it took me a long time to join a running club or run with a group. Even though I've been working out with a coach for 5 years, I didn't participate in the group bootcamp until last year. Crossfit? The WOD? There's no way!

However, on that same day that I was called out for going light on the kettlebells, two of the women who regularly participate in CrossFit came up to me. "You really should do the WOD, " each of them said to me. "You're stronger than you think". 

Ok, if you believe in signs, I read them, loud and clear. On Monday, I signed up for my first WOD. I reviewed the workout on the website before I signed up. It looked doable. The first part of the workout was strength and the second part was MetCon (metabolic conditioning), which is kind of like bootcamp. One of the women, who is about my size, asked if I wanted to partner with her for the strength workout, strict presses. Perfect! My favorite overhead lift, I worked up to 55# x 5 reps x 5 sets.

The MetCon was called "tracks": 20m prowler push +50# plates, 10 back squats with 65# on a bar, 100m row +20 power pulls, and 100m run; this circuit was repeated for a total of 3. The workout was timed. I was worried more about safely getting the 65# bar over my head and on my shoulders and less about time. I cleaned the bar to my shoulders and lifted it over my head, placing it on my upper back. I loved that I could let the bar roll off my back when I was done with the lift.

That same coach who earlier in the week was riding me about not using the heavier kettlebells was right there, encouraging me during the WOD. "You got this, Wendy. You're stronger than you think!" But instead of feeling defensive or discouraged, I rose to the challenge. Yes, I came in DFL but I did the entire workout without needing to scale it.

When I returned on Thursday for my strength session and bootcamp, I brought that mantra with me. Coach Sammy Jo had me work on chest presses (working up to 65# x 6 reps) alternating with bent barbell rows. There was some stability work after that and I surprised myself by completing the alligator walks (using gliding disks) without having to stop. Bootcamp was a bunch of activities, with an 800m run to start and finish. I was thrilled to complete my first 800m run in 4 minutes!

Oh, running, how I've missed you! It's not that I haven't been running, but for a while, I haven't been running well. Is the tide turning? Wednesday's run was done in the humidity and heat and I was happy to end up with 5 miles. On Saturday, I woke up to near perfect running conditions. I changed my goal for the run from 6 miles to 8 and started out with the mantra. "You're stronger than you think." I brought back the run/walk intervals because that's where I'm at right now. Every time I wanted to quit, I repeated my mantra. When I look at my splits, I feel pretty good. Consistency is the goal and that is what I got.

Because yes, "I am stronger than I think." It's a good thing I'm feeling strong because I'm taking my youngest back to school today. It never gets easier.

You are stronger than you think! /via @oldrunningmom #runchat #runner #mantras

So many mantras, so little time! What are your go-to mantras when you're struggling? Do you push yourself or do you push a little harder when someone else pushes you? How was your week? Anyone else struggling with missing their college kids?

I'm linking up with Deborah and Kim for the Weekly Rundown.