Monday, February 9, 2015

Hung over


At the beginning of this year, I set five goals for myself. I've talked about them quite a bit on the blog. Goals are important because it gives us something to strive for. Four of those goals were running related. One was not exactly running related. That goal was to manage the mama drama in my life. But we all know how much that mama drama affects our running. And vice versa.

Spinal Tap
That goal, the keeping the mama drama in check goal, was sorely tested this weekend. The mama drama-o-meter was off the chart. Up to eleven. Saturday night was a sleepless night. And Sunday was rough. Have you experienced a hangover after a night of partying? That's small potatoes compared to how I felt Sunday. I felt sick all day. My son, obviously feeling the fallout as well, took off early in the day. He said he needed "to chill". I spent most of the day agonizing over him leaving and wondering where he was. I sent him occasional text messages, just to check in and let him know I was thinking about him.

As the day went on, something changed. I don't know exactly how it happened but he and I began exchanging text messages. And through these text messages, we shared a lot. A lot. He told me things no mom ever wants to hear. Confirmation of things that I was already suspicious of. I told him how much I loved him and wanted to help him. We texted all afternoon. And the upshot? We're both taking the day off today to get some help for him.


When he came home tonight, I hugged him. And he let me. I can't remember the last time I held him in my arms. My 17 year old baby boy hugged me back. I asked him if he was still on board with the plan for help. He said yes.

Sunday morning, even though I was exhausted after my sleepless night, I went for a run. It was one of those "I need a run" runs. When I got back, I told my husband that for that 50 minutes I was on the path, I didn't think a whole lot about my son and the events of Saturday night. Instead, I got to think about running, lose myself in my music, and be free from my life. I listened to my footfalls and reflected in the ease of my stride. That day, more than ever, I was thankful for the run.


I can't predict what today will bring, or the next day. I have a feeling my family is in for a rough road for a while. While I have no control over the mama drama in my life, I have control over how I manage it. And the one thing I'll have to help me through the mama drama ahead is the run.

I'm linking up with Tara at RunningN'Reading today.

31 comments :

  1. Oh man Wendy, sounds like things came to a head. Big hugs to you and here's to a breakthrough with your son. I'm glad you have your run too. Here if you need anything.

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    1. It's tough. I hope things get better, but I think we have a long road ahead of us.

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  2. My heart goes out to you Wendy. I hope better days are ahead. Keep running for that wonderful mama drama break.

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  3. I hope your "virtual" friends can provide some support and respite for you, Wendy; I will certainly be thinking of you and I'm so glad that your son has such an amazing mom to guide and help him through this process. Thank you for linking up with the blog again this week; take care of yourself.

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    1. He's not feeling particularly thankful right now. This parenting thing is way harder than I thought it would be.

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  4. Hope things work out for your son. You sound like a very understanding mom.

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  5. Prayers and positive thoughts for your family and this journey. May the wind be at your back the entire "run"... one day at a time. :)

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  6. Good luck and I'm happy that you have running to get you through it all!

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    1. You were probably expecting some big party story....I only wish.

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  7. I was that 17 year old, Wendy. Reading this post brought more emotion back than I care to admit. Love him. Tell him you love him, and often just as I am sure you are. Please let me know if you need anything, at all.

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    1. I was too. Which makes it all the more painful. Thanks for all your love and support.

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  8. ok- you are on my mind! I have done mama drama and step mom drama which is worse because dad spends tons of time with the original mama - ugg, it was so tough, thank God you have your running shoes and if you need anything holler! Moms and moms who blog and run well, we will stick together! Prayers!

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    1. I'm so grateful for the run...and all my friends who have been so supportive. Thank you! Trying to stay positive.

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  9. Sounds like maybe you turned the corner with your son. I hope things continue to head in the right direction for all of you. Air hug!

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    1. Time will tell. I think it's going to be a rough ride.

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  10. Oh wow, Wendy. Just know although we don't know each other in "real life", I am here for you.

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    1. I appreciate all the love and support you've sent my way!

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  11. I have a very good friend who is going through something similar with her son and they are getting help for him too. Know that you are not alone in this battle. ~Hugs~

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    1. There's comfort in knowing I'm not the only one going through this. Thank you.

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    2. Just came upon your blog via SUAR. The fact that your son will even entertain getting help of any kind is huge. It may be a long road, but his desire is so key. Mine would not and it has been a near living hell for many years now. I love my son, but prayer and hope is all I have left (since he is now 22, I have no legal options left). Hoping the very best for your son.

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    3. I'm so sorry about your son. Mine turns 18 in 6 months, so we don't have a lot of time. He doesn't think he needs help. Hopefully, they'll get something into his empty frontal lobe and help him think more clearly and logically.

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  12. OH Wendy, hugs to you. I'm glad that he was able to open up to you and agree to get help, that is such a HUGE step in the right direction. Thinking of you!

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    1. We'll see how it goes. It's going to be a roller coaster, I think. <3

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  13. Hugs to you! (and FYI.. awesome pic of you running!) Glad you were able to get out for a few minutes!

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    1. Had a great run today as well. Fueled by anger. I thanked my son for that....

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  14. many, many hugs coming your way. I don't know what's going on but hopefully you find some comfort in the support of your virtual tribe! (((HUGS)))

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    1. I love my virtual friends. This community is amazing!

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