|It's a running blog, after all...|
Last night, the mother of one of my son's friends called me. She made some small talk and I figured she was just calling to check in on the boys, make sure they were still behaving. But then she brought up the real reason for the call. Her family is going out of town for the weekend, and her son wanted to invite my son and 2 girls to go with them. She repeatedly told me she was uncomfortable with it, hemming and hawing, but wanted to know how I felt.
In other words, she wanted me to be the bad guy. She wanted me to say no. Which, of course, I did. But what I wanted to say to her, "why the f--- can't you just say no?" I didn't, but I wanted to. I do have a filter. Plus, I was walking through the hospital at the time, so there's that.
But truly, this really upset me. I felt like she put me in a bad position, where I couldn't say anything but no. I couldn't tell her how I really felt about her wimpy parenting. And how bad it felt to have to be the bad guy.
Just earlier in the day, I was put in another situation where I needed to say no, but didn't want to be the bad guy. In this instance, I received a message from another blogger, who shall remain nameless. I had never interacted with her before. She told me that she found my blog on another site, and loved the idea of the book club. And would I mind if she started her own running book club?
Who does that?
I checked out her blog, and it's really fancy. Professionally done, with multiple headings and pictures that with a click, take you to another page. She's got ads too, so clearly she's pretty big.
In contrast, my blog is pretty small. I started my blog to interact with other runners and bloggers. I wanted to share my experiences and inspire other runners. My blog is more of a public diary. I don't have ads, and I rarely do product reviews. I have a loyal following, and I'm happy with where my blog is going. I try really hard to have meaningful content every time I post. I don't post just to post. The book club was born out of my love for running, for reading, and for learning. I've had author involvement, which is more than I dreamed of. We've had our 2nd month and so far, the book club has been well received.
But clearly, it's a blog eat blog world out there.
Naturally, I took the easy way out and was nice about it, telling her basically the more the merrier. After I responded to her, I kicked myself all day long. Hard. I kept thinking about how I could have handled it differently. What I should have said was no, or suggested an alternative. Clearly, I'm still bothered by it, because I'm writing about it. For the life of me, I don't know what I would have said, though, that would have made saying no sound ok.
If you've been following me for any length of time, you've probably figured out that I'm not a wimp by any means. I'm pretty good at asserting myself. I do it in my job, and at home. I'm competitive and aggressive on the race course. If you ask my husband, he'll tell you I drive like I race. I will admit that lately though, it's a little overwhelming how often I'm saying no at home. As a matter of fact, I feel like that's all I've been doing these days. Saying no. Maybe that's why I'm faltering. I just want to be nice for a change.
Saw this on a car yesterday. Maybe I need to grow a pair....Or the more acceptable alternative, a thicker skin.
|Been told this too...by my son...|
In the situation with the blogger, what would you have done? Am I being too sensitive here? Is it easy for you to say no?
Because it's so easy for me to be Thinking Out Loud, I'm going to link up with Amanda from Running with Spoons! What a great link up!