Running the emotions

Anger fueled my last run. Life circumstances-aka a rebellious teenage boy-- have sent my emotions into a tailspin. This kid is pushing my every button right now and it's all I can do to hold it together and get through the day. But it's not just that. Suddenly, there becomes a very real possibility that I may not travel to Florida in March and that I may have to DNS my Sarasota half. This is the race that I've wanted to run for the past 3 years. I'm stunned and shocked and angry by how my world has turned upside down.

So 2 days ago, I took my run outside. I had planned speedwork on the mill to do but that wasn't going to happen. The sun was shining and it was actually warmish--about 35--and I just needed to just run. I needed my blacktop therapy. There was no plan, no speed, no time goal. Just me and the road. And as luck would have it, my playlist spit my hardest, angriest music at me. It was just awesome. I picked up the pace and pounded the ground. I pictured my feet cracking the pavement. It felt like I was flying. I sang along with those adolescent refrains of rebellion. I smiled to myself about the irony of my musical selections. I had visions of myself pummeling my son and ran harder. At 6.22 miles I stopped. Catching my breath, I smiled to myself. That felt good. I felt strong. I felt tough. I felt like I was ready to tackle life, at least for the time being.

Of course, I don't like being angry, but anger sure has given me some good runs--not just that one but others in the past.

It's a lot easier to run angry than it is to run sad. Crying and running just don't mix. It's hard to breathe when you're crying. I've done it before and it's really difficult. On this last run, I was really grateful that my run wasn't interrupted by tears. They've been flowing a lot lately and at the most unexpected times.

I've had runs fueled by fear too. Remember last summer, when I found the cyclist in the road who had been hit by a car? I stayed with him until the paramedics took him away and then decided to try to salvage what I could of my planned run. My first two miles after that were fueled by adrenaline--that flight or fight mechanism--but once the adrenaline ran out, I couldn't go another step. I've had the same thing happen when I've crossed the start line of a big race. Go out too fast and boom! or bonk or hit the wall. Whatever you call it, it's all bad and I've had to learned to control my nerves when I start to run. Going out too fast burns up all that energy and the outcome isn't good.

The best emotion to run on is joy. But joy isn't predictable. The joyful run is the run that comes when you least expect it. I've had joyful runs when I've had a sleepless night. After a bad day at work. I've run with pure joy in the rain. I've experienced a sudden feeling of joy after a difficult first mile on a run where I was ready to call it quits. The thing about the joyful run is that suddenly it all comes together and the legs feel light. As if I could run forever. It feels like I'm flying. Some call it a runner's high. I might even say that my last run became joyful. I felt really good after that run. Talk about a mood swing...! But it was great to get rid of that anger and feel happy again. I love to run.

And that is the best feeling in the world.

How do your emotions fuel your runs? What emotion makes you run best?

I'm linking this post with Amanda Running with Spoons

Fetch!

On a more positive note, over the past weekend, I took my youngest son to be fitted for running shoes. He's not a runner per se, but he is a multisport athlete and participates in sports that involve a great deal of running. If you recall, last fall he tore his MCL playing football. He did rehab through physical therapy. One of the therapist's main concerns was his lack of hip strength. She said he needed different running shoes, more for stability, as he tends to roll inward (pronate) when he runs. Since he's conditioning for rugby and doing a lot of running again, I wanted to get him some new shoes. We headed over to Road Runner Sports to get him properly fitted for running shoes.

I've never been fitted for running shoes. I have a neutral gait, and have run in the same shoes, Asics Gel Nimbus, for years. So being fitted for running shoes was new to me. I was really impressed by the technology at the store. And found my new favorite running app, the Shoe Dog. There's an app on the website too, but obviously if you can go to the store, it is much more hands on.

Shoe Dog asks all kinds of questions, like your age, gender, terrain where you run, arch type, foot mechanics (pronator, neutral, supinator), injuries, and some specs like mileage and weight. At the store, my son ran on a treadmill and the person helping him was able to observe him running and comment on his foot position. He stood on a pad and had the sole of his foot analyzed to determine where he put the most weight. She also had fitted him for custom inserts to provide more support for his highly arched feet. Then she made recommendations for shoes. She selected the Nike Lunar Glide, Brooks Adrenaline, and Asics GT-2000.

He's a 15 year old boy. Can you guess which shoe he picked?

If you guessed the Nike, you were correct. Fashion and brand comes first, after all... He said the other shoes looked too much like running shoes. As if that were a bad thing...these are pretty cool looking, actually.

And the outcome? He wore his new shoes last night at rugby and said they felt great. No knee pain either. He'll be using these for football conditioning too. I'm glad we did this. It's all very high tech and very hands on. If you don't know what kind of shoes you should be in, this is a great way to find out.

Disclaimer: this post is not in any way endorsed by Road Runner Sports. This post is solely my opinion.

I'm linking this post up with Tuesdays on the Run! MCM mama runs, Run the Great Wide Somewhere,  and My No-Guilt Life! Head on over and see check out other bloggers' favorite fitness apps!

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Hung over

At the beginning of this year, I set five goals for myself. I've talked about them quite a bit on the blog. Goals are important because it gives us something to strive for. Four of those goals were running related. One was not exactly running related. That goal was to manage the mama drama in my life. But we all know how much that mama drama affects our running. And vice versa.

Spinal Tap

That goal, the keeping the mama drama in check goal, was sorely tested this weekend. The mama drama-o-meter was off the chart. Up to eleven. Saturday night was a sleepless night. And Sunday was rough. Have you experienced a hangover after a night of partying? That's small potatoes compared to how I felt Sunday. I felt sick all day. My son, obviously feeling the fallout as well, took off early in the day. He said he needed "to chill". I spent most of the day agonizing over him leaving and wondering where he was. I sent him occasional text messages, just to check in and let him know I was thinking about him.

As the day went on, something changed. I don't know exactly how it happened but he and I began exchanging text messages. And through these text messages, we shared a lot. A lot. He told me things no mom ever wants to hear. Confirmation of things that I was already suspicious of. I told him how much I loved him and wanted to help him. We texted all afternoon. And the upshot? We're both taking the day off today to get some help for him.

When he came home tonight, I hugged him. And he let me. I can't remember the last time I held him in my arms. My 17 year old baby boy hugged me back. I asked him if he was still on board with the plan for help. He said yes.

Sunday morning, even though I was exhausted after my sleepless night, I went for a run. It was one of those "I need a run" runs. When I got back, I told my husband that for that 50 minutes I was on the path, I didn't think a whole lot about my son and the events of Saturday night. Instead, I got to think about running, lose myself in my music, and be free from my life. I listened to my footfalls and reflected in the ease of my stride. That day, more than ever, I was thankful for the run.

I can't predict what today will bring, or the next day. I have a feeling my family is in for a rough road for a while. While I have no control over the mama drama in my life, I have control over how I manage it. And the one thing I'll have to help me through the mama drama ahead is the run.

I'm linking up with Tara at RunningN'Reading today.

Bringing flexy back....

I've been doing yoga almost as long as I've been a runner. But there are just some poses I'll never be able to master. I'm lacking in the flexibility department, for sure. And running doesn't help that! But I do yoga to help me recover from my runs, and my goal isn't to be a master yogi. My goal is to stay injury free. And to have fun in the process. Yoga has certainly helped me be a stronger runner, but it keeps me humble too!

I'm participating in the #prAna and #fitapproach #TaketheLeap 30 days of yoga challenge. Today is Day 5 and I'm excited to share my first 5 poses on the blog! It has been so much fun to showcase yoga and I love seeing all these runners' posting their yoga poses on Facebook and Instagram. I hope everyone keeps posting as the month goes on.

Cow Face Pose aka Gomukhasana. Do I look like I'm in pain? Because I am. I like to call it mad cow face pose. Talk about humbling! I've got really tight hips and I can't get my knees together like a good yogi. But I sure do feel this one! My arms are in reverse namaste, but you can also hold your feet, like motorcycle handlebars. Vrooooooom.....

Revolved chair aka parivrtta utkatasana. This one really opens the glutes and hamstrings. It's also a twist, so it feels great on the spine.

Camel pose aka ustrasana. I love backbending because they open my heart. We spend so much time leaning forward, running forward, and backbends pull us out of ourselves. This pose is also great for the quads and hip flexors, as well as the shoulders.

Side plank with tree pose variation aka vasisthasana with vrikshasana. I love side plank. I feel so strong and open in this pose. By, the way, I have "double jointed" elbows and so my arms are never straight. In case you were wondering.

I started off the week with King dancer pose aka natarajasana. I was challenged by Run Salt Run, (who coincidently coined the term #kickasana) to do this pose. This is a balance pose but it is also a backbend. I am not very flexible, and even though it feels like my leg is extended really high, this is as high as I can get. And yes, I'm wearing my pajamas. Just like yoga pants, really.

As one of my instructors once told me, you get as much out of a pose as you put into it. It doesn't matter how deep or how far you go. In fact, if you go too far, you can hurt yourself. Do what you can do. Be where you are.

Are you participating in the yoga challenge? Do you practice yoga? If not, why not? And if so, what are your favorite poses?

Don't forget to check out my PowerDecal giveaway! It ends 2/11/2015 at midnight! You can jump in here: http://oldrunningmom.blogspot.com/2015/02/bumper-stickers-and-powerdecal-giveaway.html

Today I'm linking up with the DC trifecta aka Courtney, Mar, and Cynthia for Fitness Snapshots!

I'm also linking up with Jill Conyers for Fitness Friday!

What has running done for you?

Something happened to me between the 4th and 5th grade.

As a little girl, I was a leader. Well liked, with a ton of friends. But around my 10th birthday, something changed for me. There wasn't a specific incident that I can recall.  It was almost like a shift in my brain. All of a sudden, I wasn't sure about anything. I lost my mojo. I started to feel awkward and ugly. I felt different than everyone else. In middle school, everyone around me started going through the physical changes of puberty. Nothing was happening for me, and it didn't seem like a big deal, to me at least. But along with those physical changes all my friends were experiencing, was a shift in everyone's psyche. Everyone was boy crazy and clothes crazy and just plain crazy. It was almost like a club that I wasn't a part of. I didn't get it. I didn't really notice how different I was until I was invited to a slumber party at one of my elementary school friend's house. This was 7th grade. I remember it vividly because while I was friends with several of the girls, there were others invited who were all part of a "faster" crowd from my junior high. Things were way over my head. I just wanted to go to sleep and they were up all night, dancing and giggling. The differences between me and those girls were evident, and I wasn't included in that group again. My self confidence continued to plummet, and hit rock bottom when I started high school. As a freshman, I was pranked, meanly, by a girl I had been friends with in grade school. It's still painful to think about that incident. I was socially awkward and gawky. My best friend from junior high moved on to the "popular" group. It was a tough time. 

Me, probably around age 13.

Something happens at puberty that makes girls' confidence plummet. Kristin Armstrong wrote an amazing essay on this. Changes in the brain, both hormonal and physical that occur with puberty, change the way preteens view themselves. For both sexes, but especially girls, it is so important to "fit in", and preteens compare themselves to their peers. Girls also measure themselves against unrealistic expectations in the media. 

Did you see this amazing ad during the Super Bowl? This really struck a nerve with me. Apparently, I wasn't alone. My Facebook and Instagram feed was full of #runlikeagirl posts and pictures. I've also read a few blog posts that touched on themes related to this ad. CNN interviewed the director of this ad. She's been involved with other projects like this in the past and comments in the article that she was shocked by the dramatic shift in girls' thinking at puberty.

Back in the day, when I was young, girls didn't participate in sports like they do today. I was raised in the era before Title IX, when girls were supposed to be cheerleaders, dancers, and moms. Not that there's anything wrong with these options. But they were the only options I knew about. No one played sports, really. None of my friends were athletes. In my clinic, I see girls who are participating in every sport that boys have and then some. And those girls play hard!

But even with all these opportunities to participate in sports, have things really changed for girls? In my clinic, besides seeing the confident, athletic girls, I also see girls who tell me they're ugly..too fat..too thin...girls who cut themselves...who are bullied. How do we help those girls?

I stumbled through my teens and 20s, trying to find my way. Finally, after suffering from anxiety and panic attacks, I started working out. There was a track at the health club, and I began to run. After time, I found that not only did running help me manage my anxiety, in fact reducing it, but also began giving me self confidence. I ran and I got faster. I felt confident enough to run a few 5ks, and actually placed in my AG a few times. This was in the days before racing was a big thing, but it surprised me. I still didn't have the confidence to join a running group or meet other runners. I was intimidated by experienced runners. I still felt that I wasn't a "real runner".

Fast forward 20-odd years and I look back on that old me and see how far I've come. But even prior to last year's marathon, I still had lots of self doubt prior to lining up at the start. I was fortunate to have a coach and friends who believed I could and I would. And I did. I proved to myself that I can "run like a girl". But how sad is it that it that at 52, I was still lacking in confidence? How do we keep our teen girls from a life of low self esteem and self doubt?

For me, the answer is running. Running gives me a sense of accomplishment. Almost everyone can run. It doesn't have to be fast. It doesn't have to be far. But lacing up those shoes and heading out the door is an accomplishment in itself. Pushing through a tough run and not quitting helps build mental toughness. Running is easy. Just one foot in front of the other.

#runlikeagirl

I'm linking this post up with Amanda at Running with Spoons for her Thinking Out Loud linkup.

Bumper Stickers and a #PowerDecal giveaway!

A couple of years ago, a Wall Street Journal columnist wrote an essay denigrating the many runners who put milage bumper stickers on their cars. You can read this gem here.  Here's a quote so you can get a feel for the article:

"There is only one reason running aficionados display the stickers. They want the rest of us to know about their long-distance feats. So let me be the first to offer my hearty congratulations. I'd even offer to give them a pat on the back—once they're done doing it themselves."--Chad Stafko, 2013

Clearly, he's not a runner. Most likely he has some issues. Maybe he should run. He says he has one of these bumper stickers on his car:

Which makes me think he also has a sense of humor. 

Mark Remy, resident funny man at Runners World, wrote a rebuttal to the WSJ essay. Remy's translation of the above quote: 

"TRANSLATION: People put stickers on their cars. Even runners! This angers me."-Mark Remy 

And as Remy says,

"See? The author is not a bad man. Just an angry one. And you know what's good for that, don't you, Chad...? "

Yep. How do you feel about people putting distance stickers on their cars? Yay or nay?

My husband sported a 0.0 bumper sticker on his last car. No, he doesn't have issues with runners. Or me. It was a joke between us. People ask me all the time if he runs. "Not if he can help it," I tell them. He's had a love-hate relationship with my running, but more and more he displays a sense of pride when he talks my running to other people. We've accepted each other for who we are and that's that. 

He also doesn't mind driving my car with its 26.2 bumper sticker. I put that sticker on after my first Chicago marathon. After almost 4 years, it's starting to fade. And you can't see it at night. But recently, I acquired something new: 

This is a PowerDecal, an innovative LED backlit device that turns on when you're driving and turns off when you're stopped for more than a minute. My back windows are tinted, yet you can see the logo clearly at night! My nephew started PowerDecal, and their biggest sellers are sports logos. But they now have 26.2 and 13.1 for runners. You can also get custom logos. Personally, I think it looks pretty cool.

I have a PowerDecal 26.2 to give away! And remember, less than 1% of the population has completed a marathon. So be proud of what you've done!

Tell me you don't want one! You can enter below. Sorry to my overseas friends, but US entries only. Entries start after midnight 2/4/2015 and contest ends 2/11/2015 at midnight. Good luck!



a Rafflecopter giveaway

Take the Leap!

30 days of yoga challenge #prana #sweatpink #fitapproach

When I think about yoga, the first thought that comes to mind is release. Yoga relaxes me and makes me feel loose.

That’s why I am SO excited to participate in prAna’s Take The Leap 30 days of Yoga Challenge with Sweat Pink. I plan to pigeon my way to a more flexible and injury free 2015!

For me, the biggest challenge when it comes to yoga is lack of flexibility. #TakingtheLeap with prAna and Sweat Pink is a great way for me to find strength in my poses.

My favorite place to yoga is my home because it is so quiet when everyone's gone for the day.

Here’s a photo of me in my very best pigeon:

I tag: Marcia from Marcia's Healthy Slice, 
Michelle from This Momma Runs, 
and Teri from Reinventitude.

I want these fabulous bloggers to share their very best yoga pose photos, this fun MADLIB and of course, I challenge them to join me on this fun 30 day yoga journey

Come on yogis! #TaketheLeap with me!

Join prAna’s & Sweat Pink’s #TakeTheLeap 30 Days of Yoga Challenge and be eligible for a chance to win $500 worth of new prAna gear from their latest collection as well as gift an additional $500 worth of prAna gear to the person of their choice... because isn’t giving as important as receiving? They just launched their new Spring Collection so you best get on it!

If I win I would gift the $500 to my coach Becky because she pushes me to believe in myself. But she needs more yoga in her life!

Make your own MADLIB and join #taketheleap 30 days of yoga challenge. 

Here's the link to the original MADLIB. Fill in the blanks and post away! https://docs.google.com/document/d/1kQbAqCT3Xv3ZpnbfDUVmjMUm8Rp9iLZdmqbYmz9ZHSU/edit

Join the Take the Leap with prAna and Sweat Pink Facebook group / event which we’ll use for updates, sharing,and inspiration: https://www.facebook.com/groups/1525412337742204/

and event page: https://www.facebook.com/events/423377431152799

And join the challenge on Instagram, Twitter, and your blog using the hashtags:

#TakeTheLeap

#prana

#sweatpink

#FitApproach

And of course, tag @prana @FitApproach

YOGA ON!