Friday, February 24, 2017

Runfessions: February

Here we are again--it's the end of the month and that can only mean one thing. Yep, once again, it's time for Runfessions--that monthly clear the conscience and make things right in the universe again time.

Let's head into the runfessional, shall we?


Sure, why not start out with the weather? Which, by the way, has been truly fantastic for February in Chicago. This time of year is usually pretty brutal for us. Most years, the only good thing I can say about February is that it only has 28 days. But not this year. We've had a stretch of sunny 60-70 degree days that just keeps on going. We haven't had snow since December 17. I runfess that even though I know it's wrong, that this weather is due to climate change and that's not a good thing, I love this weather and I don't want it to be right.

Even our cooldown isn't looking so bad.
source
A few weeks ago, my yoga instructor had us do a balancing practice. Not just balance poses, but a practice that would help balance us mentally. We did all sorts of poses. She also had us do back rolls, where you roll forward to touch your toes and back with your feet over your head. During this exercise, the women on either side of me farted. While one of them tooted once and was done, the other did not finish with just a toot. This unfortunate yogi let loose with one of those long, machine gun delivery farts. Pop-pa-pop-pop-pop. Pop. Pop. The fart just kept on going while we all kept on rolling. I'm sure that my neighbor was mortified. I runfess that while it took every ounce of self-control to not start laughing, I felt refreshed and balanced after that class.



Last weekend, I received an email from the New York City Marathon that said: "Last day to claim your free NYCM lottery entry!" They had me at "free". Last year they charged $11 to enter the lottery. I couldn't help myself. I went to the website and filled out the application. When I got to the page where I needed to enter my credit card information in case I did get a spot, I runfess that I closed the page before I completed the application. What was I thinking?


At work, we've been training some nurse practitioners to become more comfortable with pediatrics. Last week, I was examining a baby and talking with the mom when all of a sudden I felt the NP I was training press herself into my back and put her head over my shoulder. I could feel her breath on my neck. I'm pretty sure she did this so she could see what I was seeing but I'm also pretty sure that in some settings this would have qualified as an assault. I runfess that I was extremely uncomfortable. In fact, I froze. It was one of those situations where I was rendered speechless, which is very rare for me. I still haven't gotten over it. I rarely talk about work on the blog, but this was an incident too disturbing to keep inside.


I runfess that this recent flare of my rheumatoid arthritis has made me angry. I can't deny this. What is the point of being compliant with my treatment regimen if I'm going to flare? I'm taking my weekly methotrexate shots without complaining. I survived steroid psychosis! I've been making smoothies with things that 2 months ago wouldn't have graced my grocery cart much less my lips. Drinking beet shots, for god's sake! I may as well go off the rails and party like it's 1999! Or pull a Fiona like on Shameless. Her life was in the toilet, so she figured f**k it and broke probation, drank and drugged herself silly, and found herself in Sheboygan. Sigh. But I bet the liquor is a lot cheaper up there.


Have you ever been in yoga class when someone farted? Did you laugh? Maybe I'm just immature. How's the weather where you are? Do you have personal space issues? Are you watching Shameless? Have you had marathoner's remorse when you signed up for a race impulsively?

I'm linking up with Marcia for her monthly Runfessions linkup! I'm also linking up with Running on Happy and Fairytales and Fitness for the Friday 5 2.0!




102 comments :

  1. I absolutely would have laughed at farty-mc-farterson. Had I done that.. I would have laughed hysterically at myself!! Oh and shameless.... oh how I miss that show. Just started stranger things and now I need a light on to walk upstairs.

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    1. I was having nightmares from Shameless season 4! Thank goodness season 5 lightened up!

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  2. I definitely wouldn't like someone being in my space like that. Its so awkward and uncomfortable! Ive stopped signing up for races impulsively but its always tempting. I hope you feel better- its so frustrating to do all the things you are supposed to be doing and not see the right results.

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    1. I'm feeling better and more hopeful again!

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  3. Oh gosh....I guess you could say yoga brings out the best (and worst) in us LOL

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  4. OMG farting in stereo. Not sure I'd have had the restraint to control my laughter. Was the trainee from another country? I had a woman do this to me in line at an ice cream counter on a cruise ship of all places. I guess she wanted to see the flavors better. So weird by American standards.

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    1. Actually, she wasn't foreign. Today she was back (ugh) and as we were walking, our hands touched. She asked if I wanted to hold hands and I said no.

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  5. Awwe I wish you had applied for the NYC Marathon - it's so fun!!

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    1. It's not out of the picture but I promised myself (and Becky) no fall marathons. I want to do another strength cycle! Who am I?

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  6. Hahaha!!! A good fart is always good for a great laugh!

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  7. you crack me up!
    I feel the same way about the weather this week. I LOVE it but have the unsettled feeling that the world is broken. :-(
    Sorry you have a flare too. I'd be angry too-- totally legit emotion with what you are going through.

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    1. I'm much better today after a couple days off work and resolution of some of my symptoms.

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  8. Maybe I'm happy I practice yoga at home. :)

    Chronic diseases suck. Not 2 ways about it. Maybe medical marijuana would help? ;)

    And as to the weather -- we're having 3 days in the 60s. Count em, 3. I can't tell you how miserable Tuesday's run was, even though eventually it got up to 50ish that day (but I ran fairly early -- although mid morning, not the crack of dawn).

    And after all that, there is STILL snow on my lawn. With some rain the next few days hopefully it'll wash away -- although probably not from the running paths, I'm guessing. We really got clobbered with our 2 Feb snowstorms within 2 days of each other.

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    1. I think medical marijuana might be just the thing!

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  9. Oh, I've had yoga rebalance my inner gasses like that, but luckily only during my at-home sessions! I would have had a hard time not laughing. I think your anger is completely appropriate and even healthy. The last thing you need to do is put stress on yourself to be positive when things are sucking big time.

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  11. As a personal trainer I often have someone let one go while they're working out. I've learned to just ignore it because I know they're embarrassed. Lol at the Shameless photo!!!

    Sorry you're having a flare up. It sucks when you're doing all the right things and your body doesn't cooperate. Hope it settles down soon.

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    1. I think that's why I was angry! But I'm much better, and a sense of humor is a very good thing.

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  12. Laughing out loud at your trainee story, I am this way with medical students through and through, guys get OUTSIDE MY BUBBLE. Hysterical.

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    1. I have NP students and I've never had anything like this!

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  13. I watched Shameless for the first few seasons then it kind of got too raunchy and silly for me. The yoga class thing yes I've heard that happen but not to that extent. Poor woman!

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    1. Oh, season 5 has totes redeemed itself. I'm hooked!

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  14. Confession: I don't do yoga in part because I'm farty girl. You never want to run behind me either...

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    1. Haha! That was one of the reasons I didn't want to run with a group!

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    1. Sort of! But you have to see what leads up to this. It should be called Sleepless, because that's how I am after I watch.

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  16. I kept getting those NYC emails and I can't lie, I was tempted and then I realized that I don't want to train for one and I don't think my old body could handle it.

    i wish you would do it someday.I'd come support you!!

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    1. You could totally handle marathon training!

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  17. Bummer that you got cold feet about finishing the NYC lottery application. I know that you could have rocked NYC if you had gotten in.

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  18. We have had that weather in Colorado and I am loving it. We finally got about 3 inches of snow yesterday but it was so wet the streets were dry for my run today (a win, win for both Mother Nature and me). I do all my yoga at home now, but yes, I have heard it all--it's hard to stay centered when my 10 year old boy sense of humor just wants to bust out laughing. I have such a personal space issue. If I am doing something on my PC for Rick's business and he is right there with me, I am sometimes like "hey give me some room" if he is sitting too close...and he's my husband! LOL. Sorry about the RA flareup. Can you think of ANYTHING you have done differently that could affect it? Could be something like your body fighting off other germs (like a cold or something) and that little bit of taxing on your immune system causes other issues to flare up?! Or just a little less sleep? I know you probably don't want to get obsessive about it but I wonder if you will be able to see patterns emerge as you travel this journey. I am wishing you the best--stay strong like you are!

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    1. Idk--I had Chinese the night before and I read that MSG can cause a flare? I hope not but I had the leftovers in the middle of the week and I had an increase in symptoms. Man. Pizza and wine tonight and RA better not mess with that.

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  19. Oh my gosh I LOVE the idea of a runfession! SD here just got dumped on with snow and it's been in the 50-75 degree highs for the last few weeks, so this is tough to deal with right now. But, gotta run!

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  20. Oh snap... I can't stop laughing about the long drawn out fart... Hahahahahaha!!! How did you not pee your pants trying to hold the laughter in?!?!

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    1. Right? The one-and-done fart? I can move on without laughing out loud. But the chain reaction? Just fart and be done already!

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  21. I fart all the time but for some reason, I have a super strong pelvic floor and can hold in even the most emergent and extreme case of diarrhea. Even after having 4 babies out my vajayjay, I still don't have trouble holding anything in. HOWEVER. Front door farts are different. Certain body positions are conducive to air getting sucked in and then blown out. It's like my own special version of the movie Backdraft. God that was a good movie.

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    1. Haha! Front door farts! Those are kind of painful!

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  22. I had to snicker at the ummm passing of gas in yoga, I laugh not cause it has happened to me but because I've thought about what if it did!?!
    I like my personal space too, more times recently I've had to place my buggy in between me and someone standing in the grocery line invading my personal space! I mean really there is no need to be all up on me! I'm afraid I've made it obvious on a few occasions too and I'm not sorry for it!

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    1. I've had that grocery store space invasion happen to me more often lately too! Sometimes they are even unloading their groceries while I am! WTH?

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  23. I've farted in yoga before. Luckily pretty quietly. I would have... I don't know what I would have done with the NP. There really aren't words.
    I would have totally entered the lottery. You can always defer :D
    I know the frustration, but you have to remember that there are going to be flares, and yes, you take amazing care of yourself and still have flares... but think about how many more you might have if you didn't take care of yourself?

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    1. That's what my rheumatologist says--it could be so much worse if I wasn't in shape. Really? That would suck.

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  24. I laughed so hard just reading your account of the dual farters that there's no way I would have held it together and not laughed in person!!

    Your NP's actions were weird and probably need to be addressed. She may not have good physical boundaries and that's not a good thing, especially in this day and age, and ESPECIALLY in the medical field.

    I know what you mean about not talking about certain things on the blog except for when they are particularly disturbing. I heard something yesterday that I can't get out of my mind, but I can't talk about, either. Ugh.

    Finally, I'm sorry you're flaring again. It really does stink to do what you're supposed to and still have them. :(

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    1. It kind of reminded me of that kid in the 3rd grade who has to be talked to about keeping their hands to themselves!

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  25. Yes, I have personal space boundaries, and I'm not afraid to speak up. I'm an only child, and never had to deal with people invading my space. I try to be nice about it.

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    1. It was just so shocking. I had no words.

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  26. See, this is yet another reason why I will probably not ever attend a Yoga class outside of my home. Trying to get in the positions is difficult enough ..then you have to "trust your farts" too??? Just too much to concentrate on! :) j

    I'm definitely a "need my personal space" girl...that would've weirded me out too. Hahaha, you should've farted on her! lol

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    1. That probably would have made her press in more! :p

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  27. OMG! Did this yogi have a burrito before yoga? wowzers! I have heard people farting at Yoga before, but not gun style! kudos to you for keeping your cool!

    I have issues with people getting too close to me, and I will ask them to step away. Like I don't like people coming behind my desk, and will rudely ask them to move away.

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    1. I guess I need to prepare a script for that situation! Why do I need to do this?

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  28. No faring in yoga class, but while I was teaching my class yesterday someone let it rip! We were doing a core workout and we started with our feet six inches off the ground holding for a few seconds, then we started doing the leg lifts. The leg lifts causes the gas. I did get tickled. It was too funny but I understand how it could happen!

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  29. I would have died laughing! Poor lady.

    The weather this week has been perfect - it rained hard on Tuesday, but it's been sunny, breezy and in the 70s all week.

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    1. In another setting--I would have laughed but it was yoga. Plus, karma...

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  30. Yes, in a recent yoga class someone farted and it took everything in me not to laugh! She laughed at herself out loud and we all just kept going. The weather here is insanely warm, plus 11C is kinda unheard of here for February!

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    1. I think that would be the best way to handle it--just laugh it off!

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  31. I have to runfess that I had a farting incident at yoga class too... I was in the front row right in front of the instructor... I'm sure my face matched my bright pink top!

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    1. There but by the grace of God, go I....

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  32. I'm not sure if I could hold it together with the barking spiders (ever heard that one?) in yoga class. I'm pretty sure I'd be rolling around on the floor laugh-crying. I figure NYCM will never be any cheaper than it is now. I hit that darn button but I also know the chances are very slim.

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    1. I've never heard of barking spiders! The things I learn...

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  33. People fart in yoga????? NO WAY! LOL! I am just happy is has not been me! But why do they think it is ok, I wonder? Just like the nurse inviting your space- all of it is just wrong I say!!! TGIF!

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    1. I don't think it's intentional...I think certain poses lend themselves to a release...

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  34. Every time my system feels gassy I have extreme paranoia that I'll fart at some point with my trainer. Hasn't happened yet but I have peed myself a little so there's that... (I wear pads so it's all good and hasn't been noticed by others). God being a woman is f.u.n. But heck yes, it would be hard not to laugh if someone else did it. :)

    As someone who went off the rails with their diet for two weeks I gotta say it wasn't worth it. But I definitely understand the frustration and desire to say "F it."

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    1. I always wear black on bottom. "Nuff said.

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  35. I'm laughing out loud at the yoga story and I think I would laugh if it happened in class. Gosh, I don't know! Weather is fabulous here! Tons of biking going on for me. And I totally have personal space issues.

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    1. I wanted to get my bike out this week but I was just too tired! That needs to go away....

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  36. That is very weird... Did the NP notice it made you uncomfortable? I don't like people touching me, not even students at school. I hate getting a tap on the shoulder. Hugs are okay but most kids who want to hug are kindergarten and then their head lands in your crotch and they put their hands on your butt. I have been touched in the butt and the boobs so many times from students. I am sure that happens to you too!?

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    1. Yeah, I have issues with touching too. That's why I don't get massages.

      And yes, little kids get a little grabby....

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  37. Lol, that's funny about the farting in yoga. I've never done a yoga class, so happy I haven't experienced that lol. You've been having great weather! Our lows are in the 30s and highs in the 40s.

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    1. All that good weather? It's just a memory. We're back in the 20s today...

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  38. The weather has been fantastic here as well, but it's going to get a little colder tomorrow night. Next week's weather is supposed to be in the 50's-60's - on the high end of normal for us this time of year.

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    1. We're cold today but it's supposed be back in the 40s and 50s next week which is above normal for us.

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  39. I must be far behind the times, but I had no idea that weather.com had this run forecast feature. It is so neat and will definitely be helpful in the future.

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    1. They used to have an app for this, but when I was preparing this post I saw that it is now part of their weather app.

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  40. I am also loving our weather her. I sent my sister the link to enter for the chance of the free NYC race but I wonder if she too closed it out once she sw she had to put on a cc #?

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    1. It was so tempting! The other thing that made me close it was the price of the race! It's almost $300!

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  41. Farts are always hilarious. If the farter was just one mat over from me, I probably would have whispered a "hey, good one!" to them. :)

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    1. Right? The single tooter always farts, but the poor chain reaction farter? She's a really nice person. I figured it was best to ignore...

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  42. Wendy, I'm so sorry about your flare. No one can blame you for being so angry about it. You are doing everything right, so hopefully you will be rewarded with diminished symptoms.

    Not only have people tooted in yoga, but one woman fell dead asleep doing shavasana and started snoring! She didn't wake up until the studio was almost empty! It took great will power on my part not to laugh, but I was also a little jealous that she felt so safe and relaxed that she was able to drift off. I don't think I could ever go back if I passed gas. I would be so embarrassed. But they say it's normal, so I don't know.

    I have HUGE personal space issues. I can't even get massages because I just don't like people touching me. It makes me incredibly uncomfortable, and I can't promise I wouldn't have thrown an elbow inadvertently, in your position this week.

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    1. I don't mind little kids climbing all over me, because they don't know any better. That happens a lot in my job. But adults? Ewwwwww

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  43. Yes, farts and body functions are funny. As a nurse, I am always talking about poop,farts,and everything else you can imagine. It provides good comic relief in awkward situations sometimes. I can relate to your reaction with personal space. I hope she is out of your life asap. That is creepy.

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    1. Haha! Living the dream, talking about poop all day long! It kind of takes the stigma out of it, doesn't it?

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  44. Omg, I am laughing out loud right now about the yoga!! That is a huge fear of mine :-) Also, that is a bit bizarre about the orientee getting so close. I know sometimes during emergency situations we have to get extra close when working on patients, but that sounds bizarre!!!

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    1. I saw her yesterday and it was another bizarre encounter. I finally talked to my manager. Let's hope that puts an end to it.

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  45. OMG! I'm totally cracking up at your liquored up runner photo. And farting, it's always good for a laugh.

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    1. There is so much trash along the road where I finish up my runs--I think people driving by thought I was picking up garbage! I had no problems finding plenty of liquor bottles for the pic!

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  46. Haha!!! I love your runfessions every time!!! We are having very un-LA weather over here in ... I'm sorry about your RA... and I don't think that I could have a shot of beet juice under any conditions! Gross!!

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    1. I think we had your weather for a while! But no worries, we're back to "normal" today. Crap.

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  47. Um, what if I've been that person who farted in yoga? Or that person who fell asleep in savasana... my friend did the other day. The weather here is also unseasonably warm but I'm not running now due to injury. It is sad but you are right, it is global warming! People are loving the weather and I get that, but in the end it is really serious for the environment.

    Every time I sign up for a race I seem to get hurt. I'm going to just quit and be a race day registrant forever now.

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    1. See...that's why I didn't laugh. Karma is a bitch and yep, it could be me!

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  48. I'm in Chicago too and the weather was so nice. Yesterday, I did the Mardi Gras 5k and it was so cold but my Mardi Gras mask and my coat kept me warm. I didn't run it but I did a fast walk. I have moderate arthritis in my knees so I stay away from high impact activities.

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    1. I didn't even know about that race! Sounds like it was a lot of fun.

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  49. Glad you have had some good running weather.....Florida weather has been awesome.

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    1. I hope your great weather holds for when I'm there in a few weeks!

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  50. Oh the farting thing...definitely one of my fears in class during certain poses! I don't know what I would have done!

    Ugh, that trainee clearly has a LOT to learn...like people's personal space. Ugh.

    Let's enjoy the warm weather as much as possible!

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  51. I am so sorry about your RA flare ups, it is so frustrating when you are doing everything right and still your body is fighting against you.

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