My Turn

The past 6 months since my mom's fall have really taken a toll on me, physically and emotionally. While I have kept up with my workout routine while managing my parents' care, I neglected the maintenance needed to keep this old machine running. I'm paying for that now, with that knee injury. Now it's my turn to take care of my needs. My dad has pushed me away and is now refusing my help, as well as not going to any of his appointments, and while that is troubling, we have enlisted our care manager to try working with him. I'm 'quietly quitting'. I will continue to manage my mom's care and accompany her to appointments. 

I'm happy to report that my knee is improving with my conservative workouts, physical therapy, and the gel injection I received this week. The PT has me doing some deep hamstring and hip flexor stretches, and movements to strengthen my hips, adductors, and quads. We're also working on balance. 

What A Week!

What a week, indeed! So much drama. Family strife, environmental threats, and another fall for my mom kept my anxiety in the red zone. Surprisingly, I'm sleeping well, but I wake up exhausted. My heart rate has been high on my runs. But those runs are giving me what I need: a respite from the craziness of my life right now, and I am oh so grateful for that. 

Rain, Rain Go Away!

It's been a rainy, stormy week--again! But like the good runner that I am, I stalked my many weather apps to find dry moments to get my outdoor activities in. I didn't always dodge the raindrops or even the lightning, but I got it all done. We had plans to go back to the lake this weekend, but with rain once again in the forecast, we decided to stay home.

I'm heading into a week off work, at home this time, and am looking forward to some much needed downtime. I do have some appointments, and I'm planning to do some decluttering around the house. Not my favorite thing to do, but it's long overdue!

It's Summer!

It sure felt like summer this week, with the heat, humidity, and storms! Still, I was able to get all my runs in. This time of year sure humbles me when I lace up my running shoes. All the strong running of the spring--POOF!-- is gone. I keep telling myself that these summer miles bring strong runs in the fall. Stay tuned for that!

Weekly Rundown:

Sunday: Trail Sisters run 4 miles

Monday: Yoga with Adriene, strength training

Tuesday: Yoga with Adriene

Wednesday: trail run 7.2 miles

Thursday: strength training

Friday: run 4 miles

Saturday: rest day

A Strong Week

I started the week feeling strong, and since we were at the lake over the weekend, I was excited to run on my local Ice Age Trail segments. With my 20 mile hike coming up in a few weeks, I had been feeling less than confident in my ability to complete the distance. However, the two back-to-back strong runs on Sunday and Monday gave me a much needed boost and set me up for a really great week of fitness. 

Keep 'Er Movin

I had no plans for the week's workouts except to stick to my routine and keep 'er movin. I have a 20 mile hike planned for June in Wisconsin--the Mammoth March-- and I need to be ready for it.  

Guys, the stress of the situation with my parents is taking a toll on my health. My Oura ring continues to flag me for elevated resting heart rate and keeps telling me to take a rest day. I struggled with my runs and have just been feeling off. I had blood work done this week in preparation for my upcoming rheumatology appointment. For the first time ever, there were some abnormalities. Yikes. I'll ask her to recheck my labs next week before I start worrying. 

On Thursday, I drove out to my parents' house to take my mom for her ortho follow-up. She was still feeling pain, so I suspected that the fracture wasn't completely healed. The xray showed that I was right. When I shared the information with my dad, he didn't take it well. As if there was anything I could do to make it heal faster. I guess I need to find a magic wand.

Nature Therapy

Nature continues to provide me with plenty of stress relief. But the stress of the past couple of months is taking a toll on my physical health. I've been sick more than usual, picking up the random viruses that I'm seeing in my clinic, even with the usual precautions. I've been losing a lot of hair. I've been feeling really fatigued the past couple of weeks, struggling both with motivation and movement. I'm finding that I have to push myself to get out the door for my runs and workouts. And instead of feeling energized when I'm done, I feel tired. My Oura ring keeps sending me alerts. I've been dialing things back a bit to give my body some grace. 

To try to keep my peace, I've taken a break from talking with my father, instead, leaning more on the care manager to check in with him and make sure things are going well. The caregivers are doing their best to keep her safe. I did speak with him this week, and it went ok. He won't be happy until he gets what he wants, which is a return to life before my mom's fall. That's not going to happen. 

I never thought that my life would be like this; that my parents would act like children, that I would be in charge of keeping them safe, and that they would push back like teenagers. I thought I had gone through all that when my oldest son rebelled in high school. Who knew?

Trail Time!

Greetings from the northwoods of Wisconsin! My youngest son and I are on another hiking adventure on some new-to-us segments on the Ice Age Trail. We're taking advantage of a trail chapter shuttle on 2 of their segments. This enables us to complete the full segment point-to-point instead of doing an out-and-back. I'm sharing all the details below.

Earlier in the week, I started to feel under the weather. On Wednesday, I struggled with my run and called it quits earlier than planned. I felt achy, and by the end of the day, I knew I was coming down with something. Pretty sure I know which little cutie in my clinic gave it to me, lol. No shade at him--I should have worn a mask when I was in the room. I'm glad I was off work on Thursday and Friday to give me time to ride this thing out before the weekend!

On the parents' front, I had some good news this week! I took my mom to see her neurology NP for her semi-annual checkup. Although we had scheduled this appointment 6 months ago, the timing was perfect as it was 6 weeks after her fall. We did see a dip in cognition after the fall, but after her cognitive testing at the appointment, we learned that she had returned to her baseline. We were both so happy!

Getting My Groove Back

After the turmoil of the past 5 weeks surrounding my mom's fall and my dad's subsequent fall apart, I stepped back to focus on my mental health. With my mom at home and all her care in place, my dad continued to badger me about removing the caregivers from the home. The conversations were a never-ending loop. I continue to provide supervision of my mom's needs, but will now utilize our geriatric care manager to share information with my father. I also reminded myself that the agency will contact me if anything concerning is happening.

I won't lie, stepping back has been difficult, but mentally, I realized how much of a toll this has taken on me. As the week went on, I started to feel more like myself. I reminded myself that I can't be good to anyone if I don't take care of my needs. 

Stormy Weather

Wow, did we get rain this week! Along with the rain, we had severe storms every night. This week alone, we've received almost 4 inches of rain locally — some areas had much more —and there is flooding everywhere. It's been wild. After a final round of storms on Friday night, the summer-like conditions moved on out, and we're back to cool, calm weather again. 

After being off the past 3 weeks to care for my mom (and dad) and prepare for her return home, I resumed work this week. I thought I'd be starting with a full schedule, but we are in a brief seasonal lull and a break in the high demand for appointments. It was the perfect way to return after the recent period of high stress. Was it nice to be back? Yes and no. I found it difficult to focus completely on the job. Despite some really good runs and workouts this week, I still have a lingering unease that I can't shake. Oddly enough, after seeing 3 patients on Saturday morning, the power went out, and we had to cancel clinic for the rest of the morning. 

Taking Care of Myself

My mom is home from rehab, and with 24 hour care, I was able to step back a bit from my duties and resume some of my normal activities, including returning to the gym. I had a lot of things I wanted to do at home, but instead, I spent most of my time resting and reading on the couch, Cocoa by my side. There were still some challenges, especially with my father, but for the most part, being at home helped lessen the impact.

Let it Be

It was another difficult week. Fortunately, my modified fitness plan, while not optimal, was enough to keep me from losing my mind. That, and the support of my youngest sister, friends, and relatives, helped me get through it. 

The Worst Day So Far....

There were some workouts and runs this week. But most of my workouts were mental, as I navigated post-hospital care and rehab for my mom. The plan to take her home with 24 hour care was postponed, as we realized that it was unrealistic due to my mom's condition, as well as my father's behavior while at the rehab facility. 

It's been...a week.

From the Frying Pan Into the Fire

I couldn't think of a better metaphor to describe the past week. The temperatures in California were HOT. Like 100F+ hot with a blazing sun. As the saying goes, it's 'not the heat, it's the humidity,' and I found that to be true. But no matter how you look at it, 100F+ is hot, and on Wednesday, it hit 107F, a temperature I had never experienced before. The hot temperatures didn't stop us, as you'll read below, and the mornings were pleasant enough that as long as I got out before the sun was overhead, I had some really decent runs.

But...on Tuesday, we learned that my mom fell on the ice and fractured her pelvis. No head injury, thank goodness. She was hospitalized, and her dementia and my dad's anxiety proved to be a huge challenge to my sisters and me. The recommendation for post-hospital care was subacute rehab; my dad was determined to take her home. No one thought this was a good idea; getting him to understand this was a challenge I hadn't even considered, and it was formidable. It took a compromise--home health staff will be in place on Tuesday, and Mom will go to rehab in the interim. 

I took a couple of additional days off work to help my parents with the transition. I can't express how difficult this has been. I am thankful for the support of my sisters, who have agreed with my decisions for my parents. As I always do, I am leaning into fitness as much as I can. It's how I manage my stress.

Another Busy Week

Life has been very busy for me this fall, and it doesn't look to slow down anytime soon. I struggled to get my workouts in this week, but I did get a lot of movement in every day. And no, I have not gotten any miles on the Ice Age Trail yet for the Mammoth Challenge. I'm about to remedy that today--if you are reading this on Sunday, I'm in Whitewater earning some miles! I need 45 miles to earn my patch this year, and I have a plan to get it done, even with the limited time I have left in the month. 

It's all good busy, and I'm enjoying it. I just read a quote that resonated with me: "It's better to be busy than to be busy worrying". Being productive, achieving goals, and spending time with family and friends--that's the best way to be busy.

Smoke and Heat

Our summer's theme of heat, humidity, and smoke continued this week. Last week's cooler temperatures felt so good, but they were just a minor reprieve. Wednesday's run felt fine despite the smoky skies, but I paid for it later! I've never smoked, but I had chest tightness and a cough after that run. It felt as if I'd smoked a pack of cigarettes. I do love summer, but this year summer has been on fire!

All Mixed Up

I was all confused this week--my work schedule was altered to accommodate my 3 partners who were all out of the office this week. Plus, I had to drive my parents downtown on Monday for a doctor's appointment at Northwestern. More on that below. Besides my work schedule, the only other thing consistent in my life is my workout schedule, and I had to move things around to fit into my days. I got it all done, though! I think that is what kept me sane. I like to think that I'm pretty flexible, but this week I didn't know if I was coming or going!

Is anyone else hearing the Cars' song All Mixed Up running through their head right now? Or is it just me?

Where is the Sun?

 Disclaimer: This post contains an affiliate link.

As far as springs go, this one hasn't brought its best conditions. In fact, I'd rate it a 5/10, and that's generous. A lifelong Midwesterner, I long for spring after our cold winters. But this year it's been slow to warm up. The sun has been MIA most days. And let's not even talk about the incessant wind.

Despite the poor conditions, I have been getting all my runs done outside. Thank goodness for good gear! While spring is slowly arriving, I am seeing color on my runs. Green grass, leaves budding on the trees, mushrooms popping up, and flowers blooming. Now if it could warm up...

The Ice Was Singing

Last Sunday, the ice was singing, and once again, trail running proves to be the most interesting way to spend time on your feet! The weather was all over the place this week, but luckily for me, all my runs were done under dry conditions. I was glad to get to do all of them outside this week. By the end of the week, the ice was just about melted on all but the biggest lakes around here.

As I wrap up this week's post, I am sitting on the sofa with my feet up, feeling completely exhausted and looking forward to being out of the office for the next 2 weeks. I'm heading into the city Monday through Thursday to attend my annual pediatric nurse practitioner conference. I'm looking forward to just sitting and learning. I'll be taking the train every day instead of fighting traffic and walking from the train station to the conference hotel on the Riverwalk. The weather looks great for the upcoming week.

Next Friday, I'll be traveling to California to spend a week with my sister and her husband. I can't wait to get my feet back on those desert trails! A change of scenery is just what this girl needs. 

This is the Way

This was the week that winter almost broke me. The theme of bitter cold and wind continued. This is the kind of cold that penetrates, even through clothing. A few weeks ago, I layered up but was apparently underdressed, for my run on the Ice Age Trail in the bitter, windy, cold and it almost made me cry, it hurt so much. We had that kind of cold again this week and I had to dig deep to get myself back outside. I knew I could have defaulted to the treadmill, but decided to take my chances because I really needed some fresh air and nature. 

I say winter almost broke me because it didn't. There were a lot of positives despite the cold. It was sunny every day and that helped to lift my spirits. Making sure to dress appropriately, I got outside for all my runs and was pleasantly surprised by how much stronger I felt when I ran. The auxiliary strength workouts at the gym seem to be paying off! That's why mixing things up or, as they say at the gym, periodizing your training is important. Keeping the body guessing: this is the way!

Even better: we're starting to warm up!