Wednesday, March 23, 2016

I'm having an affair...with running

I've got something to confess. I know, runfessions isn't until Friday. But it's been weighing heavily on my conscience.

I'm having an affair.

Happily married? Sure. But my heart doesn't belong to one. Before you start to judge, my affair isn't with another person.

I'm in love with running. This isn't anything new. But for the last couple of weeks, it seems to have taken on a new importance.

I'm having an affair with running

Sing it with me: (with apologies to Billy Paul) "Me-eee, I-IIII, me and the road, me and the road, me and the roooad....we've got a thing, going on. We both know that it's wrong. But it's much too strong...."

This past weekend, my husband and I were planning the rest of our trip to California. We picked out hotels and talked about sightseeing after the Big Sur Marathon. We went to the California coast for our honeymoon, 27 years ago. This time around, we want to see some of the things we missed.

27 years ago in San Francisco
"It's going to be our second honeymoon!" I exclaimed.

"It is NOT a second honeymoon," my husband said. "We're going because you're running."

Stunned, I didn't know how to respond. I mean, so what I'm running? We would not be taking this trip if it weren't for running. Right? And who encouraged me to put my name into the Big Sur marathon lottery in the first place? Hmm? Mr Man?

He didn't answer me that one.

My husband has always had a love/hate relationship with my running. He supports me, no doubt. He's always proud when I finish a race, and he loves to hear my finish times. The medals always make him smile. I hear him bragging about my running accomplishments to other people. But he's always been a little ambivalent about it. He makes snide comments about all the time I spend training. The blog. I've never been quite sure why.

So when Deb posted this week's word prompt: faithful, I started thinking about this a little bit.

When I look at my running like an affair, well, I guess I can see things a little more clearly.

I looked up some signs that indicate your spouse is cheating on you and applied them to running:

-Your spouse starts dressing better. Well, isn't that the truth? I've made no secret of my obsession with running clothes. Who wants to run in baggy old sweats?

Tell me these Athleta tights aren't on point...
-Your spouse frequently disappears out of the blue. Well, I do tell him where I'm going but sometimes I run farther than I planned.

My 3 hour bike ride? ooops....
-Dropping another person's name into the conversation. I do talk about running a lot.

-Excessive internet usage is a red flag. Guilty as charged. I sit in front of the TV with my laptop opened all the time. Posting my runs, blogging, connecting with other like minded folks...

-Your spouse starts forgetting everything you tell them and/or you have to repeat everything you've told them. Their thoughts are elsewhere. What?



-Your spouse starts encouraging you to have an interest all your own. I've been really supportive of his home brewing. Sampling the beers. Isn't that what a supportive spouse does?

-Your spouse comes home and heads straight to the shower. To wash away any signs of infidelity. But really, is this wrong to do after a run?

When I look at it, the signs are all there. It appears that I may not be the faithful spouse that I pride myself on.

But if cheating by running is wrong, well then...I don't want to be right.

Do you have a jealous spouse when it comes to running? How do you balance your marriage and your love for running?

I'm linking up with DebRuns for Wednesday Word. Today's word is faithful. I can't wait to see what everyone has to say about this one!











I'm also linking up with Wild Wednesday: AngelenaMarie, Annmarie, Nicole, and Michelle are hosting the party! Check out Annmarie's bluetooth headphones giveaway!





95 comments :

  1. LOL!!!! I love this post! First of all, that picture of you 27 years ago....priceless. I would say that my husband is mostly very supportive.... The solution for your husband is to have his own mistress.... my husband's mistress is English Premiere League soccer (watching not playing...buying the shirts, excess internet time, etc).... Maybe your husband can take his beer brewing up a notch.... add in a brewery tour to every destination race and you're both happy!!!

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    1. He entered his latest beer in a competition--I think it would go a long way if he won something! He used to, back in the day...

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  2. Oh this is so funny! I do most of my runs while my spouse is not at home but sometimes when he is home he'll want me to skip a run so we can go do something. That something is usually something that's on HIS agenda, not mine. I hate skipping runs for that reason but I guess I could see where it would look like I'm choosing running over him. It hasn't really become an issue though and i'm thinking since we got through the last marathon cycle we can get through anything. It helped that he came with me on most of my longer runs though!
    Great post Wendy and great analogies!

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    1. As I always tell him, it could be much worse right?

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  3. I'm laughing as I read this, Wendy. So much of this is true for my husband and I, and we both are runners, yet often have to work out on different days. Does that mean we're each having an affair with running?!?

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  4. My husband is not jealous of my running, but I do feel that there are times when I talk about it too much. Thankfully he loves to play golf and recently purchased a boat, so now I don't have to feel so guilty. I know you will have a great time at Big Sur.

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    1. I know we will too...once the race is done!

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  5. I love the pic of you and your hubby!! :)

    I am thankful that Paul supports my running 100%. He is proud of me and listens to me when I want to tell him about a particularly good run or something like that. He brags about me to his friends, which I won't lie, makes me feel special. My favorite, favorite running picture I have (and it's my facebook cover photo) is me right after winning a 10k. I am walking with a HUGE smile on my face and I look exhausted. Right behind me and to the side is Paul. He is looking at me and grinning from ear to ear. Both of his arms are up in the air in fist pumps. I love the picture because I think it represents 1. him supporting me and 2. knowing that the moment just would not have been if he hadn't been there. Oh dang Wendy now I think I need to write a blog about this!

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    1. Oh I wanted to tell you one thing. Paul does NOT read my blog. Ever!! Does your hubby read yours?

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    2. He does not read my blog. Altho I told him about this post and he looked at me kind of funny. I told him he needs to read it!

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  6. Very cute! I love that pic of you looking like a teen ager! Maybe not so much an affair but a threesome :)

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  7. Hmmmm. Snide comments -- not good. Maybe he's jealous (that goes with the post theme, right)? Not necessarily of your running, or the time away, but of the fact that you have something you love so much?

    I must say my husband doesn't really complain about my running. Not even really the expense (well, maybe just a few snide comments here & there like you bought HOW many shoes?). And I do really wish he would find something he loves to do as much, and have told him just that.

    Interesting post, Wendy -- I like your take on it!

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    1. His comment kind of took me aback, but I think you nailed it when you said "jealous"...which made me think about running in the perspective of being faithful.

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  8. Haha great post! Luckily my boyfriend runs with me most of the time, so for us running is quality time together rather than time apart.

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    1. I"ve offered...he could lose some of the pounds he's put on over the years...

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  9. Awesome post! I will say, when I first started running, my husband supported me (in his own way) but didn't get it until a couple of years later, when HE started running. Then he apologized for thinking I was slow (back then I had a decent pace), haha. I hope you guys have a great time in California - so jealous.

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  10. This is funny. I feel fortunate that my husband is also a runner and gym rat, so I never feel guilty for my workout plans.

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    1. I can't even get mine to go for a walk with me...but really he's mostly supportive. I guess it just gets to him once in a while!

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  11. Maybe you are in an open relationship :D

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  12. LoL this was such a good read! I've never really thought of running in this way, but everything you wrote was so true!

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  13. Hahaha this is amazing and so me. Guess I am having an affair too ;)

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    1. Our husbands should be grateful it's running...

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  14. This is scary funny and accurate!

    I've been lucky so far that my fiancé and I have been training together, but I don't know how much longer that will last.

    We try to balance our activities. He follows me to races, and I go with him to his martial arts seminars. So on weekends that I have a race, he will get up early and come with me, take pictures and wait in whatever conditions... rain, cold wind, heat! and when he does seminars, I come along, read a book and take pictures while he throws people around. And on weekends my son is with us, we do family trips.

    I'm sure your husband will enjoy the runcation! after all, you are right, without the race, how likely would you have been to g back to California?

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    1. We're going to have a great time! Going to Yosemite after, which we have never been to.

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  15. Point on! What is with those guys? They could be married to big fat slob- what happened to married for better for worse. So better and worse is both running. I know, I know- I catch a lot of flack for it............

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    1. Seriously! They don't know how good they have it!

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  16. This so scary true. I went to Naples on our anniversary because it was my first half marathon on the same day. My hubby didn't fall for it but went. Now I am trying to get him to play more tennis and he says "so you won't feel guilty about all that running."

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  17. Oh my!! this is totally my life! My husband does support me, but vacation plans are made so I can run. Gosh, I could copy and paste and it could be my post too. lol! I don't go out to dinner on Friday night because of long run saturday. He's a good sport about it! It's our "normal"!

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    1. There's some things he's had to give up--we don't eat steak often (it upsets my stomach) but is that all bad?

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  18. Aw I hope your hubby comes around and enjoys the rest of your trip! So what if you're running? What's 4 hours?? I think it's great he's got his own hobby too. Maybe you need to point out that you don't make snide beer comments.

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    1. Isn't that the truth? He doesn't usually say too much. That comment came after I got back from Florida. I think he struggled with being in charge of the boys.

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  19. Ha, ha. Great post! How much internet usage = "excessive internet usage"?!

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    1. Especially because I'm blogging. Come on, man!

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  20. AHAHAHAHA!! Oh my goodness this is all too true. I think my boyfriend has a love/hate relationship with my running, too. He is so supportive of me, and I think he actually enjoys having some time alone in the apartment while I'm out on long runs - but he hates waking up super early for my races - so now I only make him come to the big important ones :)

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    1. I don't make Mike come to my races, which he's grateful for. Sometimes he does tho. He'll be at Big Sur, of course.

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  21. Haha, it's so funny how accurate this is. Who would have thought that signs of infidelity are so easy to find in those of us obsessed with running and lifting?

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    1. I guess you could substitute any obsession, right?

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  22. THIS IS A GREAT POST!!!

    I love the signs of an affair! Priceless!!!

    My husband is he's always been a little ambivalent about my running too. When I told him about being selected to be a member of the Luna Chix Run team....his first response was as long as it does not interfere with my work schedule. ;( He makes those kinds of statements and snide comments too ;(

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    1. It's so great to know I'm not the only one with this issue. That makes me feel a whole lot better. Still not giving up running, tho. And I don't think he'd want me to!

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  23. Oh my gosh, this is too funny! My boyfriend runs, so he's not against my running, but I know he gets annoyed when blogging takes up so much of my time. Aw, and that throwback picture! <3

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  24. This made me giggle...I am guilty of all of the above!

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  25. Wendy, you are hilarious!!! First off...I love the throwback pic! Still gorgeous! But yes, my hubby used to be crabby about me running, especially during training season. He decided he didn't want me to come home with all of the bling so he started joining me for races (definitely not training though, lol). Yes, he's one of those types. I tease him because he ALWAYS finishes before me. I think you are absolutely correct about the running affair!

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    1. I feel like I really struck a chord with everyone here! Who knew?

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  26. Oh what a funny post! I have to laugh at your husband's reactions. My husband is similar. He is happy for my accomplishments and often tells others about my running feats. At the same time, whenever I start to talk about running too much, he makes sarcastic (but lighthearted) comments like "Oh, great! I'm so excited that we're talking about running AGAIN!!" :)

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  27. My cycling husband has had a 2 wheeled mistress longer than I've been running. Actually, he's had more than one ;) We spent our 21st anniversary weekend with back to back races - a double century ride for him and my first marathon! He is a bigger data geek than I am and is racing here on Oahu. We've made it work because I've become a cycling groupie, volunteering at his races and he's there at the finish line for me.

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    1. Oh, so you see it from the other side!

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  28. I love how you come up with such great twists on post! That right there takes talent! I can relate and I can say it on YOUR blog not mine! Mr. Sippi is jealous, I think it's more because I can finish what I start, be committed and all and I think it makes him feel bad. He acts like he doesn't care that he's gained 20 lbs in the last few years but I know it does. I don't want him to run because of me I want him to find something that keeps him healthy for him! Sigh....

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    1. My husband has gained a ton of weight and I think that has a lot to do with his ambivalence towards my running. But hey, I "get" to join you all in PCB in December, so there's that!

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  29. Fabulous and funny! I think a support group for many of us might be helpful :)

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  30. Haaaa!! My hubby def felt like this during marathon training. It takes over your life :-) Sounds like yours is a good sport. Loved the old picture and yes your altheta tights are on point!

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    1. He is a good sport...most of the time.

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  31. TOOOOO Funny!!!! And, yes, I have a few (maybe several) of these symptoms, too. My husband retired a few years ago from 31 years of military service (most of which was reserve duty, but there was a difficult 5 month deployment overseas not too long ago). There were countless weekends and 2-week excursions where I was left home with the kids.....and he knows how tough it was at times for me. So, although he does roll his eyes on occasion when I mention another race, he also lets me have "my time in the spotlight" without many arguments. And, on occasion, he laces up and joins me. Great post, Wendy ;-)

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    1. You're lucky that he will run with you on occasion!

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  32. This is a fascinating view. I wouldn't say I'm in an affair with running specifically, but I am with exercise in general. I make time for it over anything else, spend a good deal of money on it, make plans around it (rather than the opposite) and obsess over my next workout. Healthy? I guess I don't know. It IS healthy to enjoy exercise, so I'll go with that :) Best of luck to you at Big Sur! One of my friends is running it too :)

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  33. This is hilarious. And so very very true of any fitness endeavor. I'm like this with lifting... thank god I have an understanding SO.

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  34. LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL!!!!!!! This is one of my very favorite posts you've written, EVER! I am totally having my own affair with running, too!!! I meet every single red flag to a perfect T!!! =D

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  35. Haha! This is really funny. Not sure what could be said about my marriage, since we are both runners. However, I think I'm the only one who has any kind of an affair with running.

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    1. I think we ladies are more passionate about it, that's for sure!

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  36. this is such a fun post to read...im not an avid runner like you but i do enjoy running and my boyfriend not so much..i do get to him to run every now and then..but since he is not as passionate, sometimes i just have to go on my own..

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  37. This is so funny and clever! My husband and I are both runners, and only occasionally run together. And my affair with long distance running is slowly rubbing off on him, which makes me happy - not how you'd feel with a real affair though!

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    1. And isn't it better for than a real affair?

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  38. My husb definitely gets jealous when I slip out of bed at dark o'clock to meet my other true love. ;-)

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    1. I used to get up really early to run when the boys were little. But my husband gets up before me, so we never had that issue!

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  39. My husband is usually very supportive of my running. I try to work it so that it doesn't interfere with our lives (which is one of the reasons why I'm not going to try for another marathon any time soon, if ever), and I think he appreciates that. It was a little easier when he was still running, because he got it. When he "retired", he spent a few weeks kind of trying to talk me into "retiring" too and then he got mostly on board. This week, he sat down with me to discuss a plan for my recovery, and actually adjusted his schedule so I could get to yoga tonight to work on my hip. Which was really thoughtful and supportive. That being said, he's really not interested in my race stories or running anecdotes, which is tough, because he's the guy I want to share those things with.

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    1. Marathon training sure puts a strain on things around here. It's not only the time I spend running but also that I may get a little tense at times.

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  40. Haha omg this post! I'm in the same boat as you - my husband is so supportive and hates when he has to miss a race, yet he definitely makes jabs about my training, my racecations, and my blog too! I may be injured but I'm pretty sure I'm still having an affair with running! :)

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    1. And that's one of the symptoms too--you just can't stop no matter what! LOL

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  41. Haha, so funny! Seriously though, yah for having a pretty darn supportive husband -- and for 27 years! I just celebrated my 25th wedding anniversary with my guy -- and I've been running the entire time!

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    1. Yay for 25 years! I've been running for most of those 27 years, altho I wasn't a runner when we met.

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  42. What a fantastic post!! So creative and oh so true!! This is absolutely my life to a T!! Throw in the littles though!!

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    1. Oh, I've been through that too! I think I needed running more then than I do now...maybe...

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  43. LOL! I'm always trying to "sneak" a run in before we go out.

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    1. Of course! Me, I always seem to go a little farther than I intended...and I never hear my phone!

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  44. OMG this is so great. So far, he doesn't mind me cheating on him with running because he cheats on me with golf, fishing and scuba diving.

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    1. So that works well-it's an "open" marriage!

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  45. I love this post so much! Cheaters unite!!!! <3

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  46. Wendy this is fabulous, and possibly one of my all-time favorite Wednesday Word posts!

    For years it was super easy to balance my marriage and my running because my hubby ran with me on all of my Saturday long runs and many of my weekday morning runs. Since his knee surgery last year he hasn't been able to run, and we both terribly miss our time together on the trail. He's encouraging me to take up biking so we can at least do that together.

    Thanks for linking up!

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    1. Do you feel like you are cheating on him when you run without him now? :P I was surprised at how many of us runners "got" this post. There's a lot of us out there who are married to men that don't run!

      It's nice that you guys can bike together! I guess I'd have to say that my husband is the wind beneath my wings...

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