"You did this!" she said, "a couple of weeks ago! And you were supposed to work on them at home. How can you not remember this?"
I hung my head in shame. Sadly, this isn't the first time in the past couple of weeks that I've been called out for forgetting things. In fact, it first hit me last week that I needed to get with the program when I found out I made an error in calculating a dose of medication. Nothing serious, thankfully, but it was a wake-up call that I need to get my sh** together. It was kind of scary. I realized that I seriously need to get my head back into the game.
And no, I don't think I have early Alzheimer's disease. At least, I hope not.
I'm pretty sure I've been downplaying life lately here on the blog. Or maybe I've really been in so deep that I had no clue how overwhelmed and forgetful I've been. I really do try to keep things positive. It seems to me that if you dwell on how bad your current situation it just makes you feel worse. You know how it is. Life throws a bunch of stuff at you, and you just keep swimming. That's what we do. We just keep swimming. Plus things could always be worse.
But it wasn't only Becky who commented on my mental lapse. My husband started calling me out on my intellectual interlude last week. Then he started commenting on my 2d (or maybe it was a 3rd) glass of wine. As if one has anything to do with the other. No, I believe that the wine has medicinal properties and I've been self-medicating.
There's been a lot going on since we got back from California. Something had to give and apparently it was my memory. I'd apologize but when I did that on Thursday, Becky made me do 5 burpees.
For the last couple of weeks, I've been dealing with Matthew's broken leg and the aftermath. There are the bills, the appointments, and driving him to and from school. There is also the emotional upheaval I feel while supporting my normally very happy son while he deals with pain and depression because he can't participate in life. He's much happier now that his long leg cast was replaced with a short leg cast. He can shower by himself now instead of having me wash his back and hair every morning. But with a broken right leg, he can't drive. Crutches and the beach don't mix. Summer is pretty much shot for him. The ortho told him he's got a 4-6 month recovery before he can return to sports.
A much happier Matthew sporting his new short leg cast Still not able to bear weight on that leg yet. |
How can this be comfortable? |
Meanwhile, this week I'm grateful to have gotten 4 good runs in again, in spite of my PF flaring after Sunday's race. While Marcia's May plank challenge ended, she's extended it into June with the added challenge of working up to 100 push-ups by month's end. The push-ups fit in nicely with the upper body work I'm doing with Becky, although her comment to me when I told her about the challenge was that "100 push-ups are easy". For her, maybe! Anyways, on Sunday, I did 50 push-ups. Not all at once. I did intervals--run for 2-3 mins, do 10 pushups. It's a start. The goal will be to do them all at once. I've got a whole month to work on that.
In addition to my runs and push-ups, I took the bike for a 25-mile ride on Monday. And at that CrossFit session with Becky on Thursday, I did those Tabata Hollows to Supermans. I hung from the bar until tears came to my eyes. I did Body Pull Ups on the rings. She also had me do triceps dips on a box alternating with lunges carrying kettlebells overhead. I even did my homework on Saturday--push-ups, that Tabata workout, and my hip work. On my run, I stopped to hang from a bar at the playground.
Mission Accomplished.
I left my CrossFit session with the resolve to be more mindful here on out. It's my new goal for the second half of 2016. Realization is the first step. Here's to hoping that the dust is settling and the rest of summer will be uneventful.
Upward Facing Plank Last day of the plank challenge |
Anatomy of a push-up |
Hanging from the bar. Harder than it looks. |
On my way to 50 pushups |
I'm linking up with Tricia and Holly for their Weekly Wrap!
My heart aches for Matthew, Wendy. One of the worst challenges parents face is to see their offspring hurting in any way and not being able to make it better. I hope that the recovery period goes as well and event-free as possible.
ReplyDeleteI so hear you about graduation. Believe it or not, we faced the same for our younger son's college commencement. Two years earlier we reveled in our older son's graduation from the same university, a beautiful day with an unforgettable moment. I badly wanted to experience somewhat the same. I told him he owed us this one day. He replied that we could go but he wasn't. I was devastated. It was another beautiful May day. I cried. But you know what? I got over it. I hope you will, too. I know you will.
It's not surprising that your memory is slipping. It's probably an unconscious coping mechanism. Mind, heart and emotions on overload. Yoga. Breathe deeply. You'll be okay.
Wishing you a better back half for 2016. So far it sucks.
I totally get his decision. My mom told me I should "make him go". But what would be the point of making him suffer through a ceremony that he wants no part of? I am ok with his decision, but I am sad about it. In a day or two, it won't be a big deal any more. I'm sorry that you had to go through the same thing, but I'm so glad you understand how I'm feeling.
DeleteYeah, it's been a rough year. But there's been a lot of good, too. And that's what I'm going to focus on.
And that, my dear friend, is why you are such an inspiration. Heart of a lion in all respects.
DeleteNo, you can't make him go. That would surely backfire. You get it, you give him what his needs, you swallow your disappointment. A model of good parenting. 💗
Only those who have been there would get it! Thank you for all your love and support. Nice to know I'm not in this alone.
DeleteWell, you know how my week shaped up.....it was almost exactly a year ago when my left foot turned on me (literally), giving me not only a painful heel spur but also a small dose of PF. My left heel is all well and fine (though I still tape the arch as a precaution for long runs/races), now my right heel is acting up. Thankfully (glass half full...knowledge is POWER, after all), it's all in my heel right now. I do know where it could lead, though, so I'm being very cautious about icing, massaging, rolling, and NOT wearing my pretty, sparkly sandals. I have a 13.1 this next Saturday, the Ultra in July (and a whole mix of smaller events), AND Route 66 to start preparing for. I ain't got time for no PF to cramp my style. ;-) I can relate to your "mom" stuff.....my kids have never been interested in the HS dances (although the oldest daughter went to prom, and our son went his junior year with a group of guy friends)...so I kinda feel like I missed out on all those memories. But, they didn't want to go, and instead made other plans with their friends and probably had more fun. It's not always about the moms, but we get jipped-out once in awhile.
ReplyDeleteIt's hard when our dreams don't coincide with our kids', isn't? I know a week from now this won't matter but today, it's a bitter pill to swallow!
DeleteSorry things have been rough. I went through a period like that a couple years ago (including loss of memory!) and I agree you just keep swimming. I like to think of it also as rain. It may be raining now, but it doesn't and won't rain forever. Hang in there !
ReplyDeleteThat's a great analogy! It does stop raining eventually. You're right.
DeleteHang in there Wendy, you have a lot on your plate. Totally understandable that the grey matter can't focus on everything all at once. I had to step back from blogging and social media and three sport training because it was just too much mentally and my work and family were starting to suffer. Obviously I miss some aspects (and still participate to a lesser degree) but for me it was what I needed to feel like I had my s*%t together. Glad to see your son still appears to be in good spirits, despite the cast. and OMG, I just love that puppy. Hope you have a good week!
ReplyDeleteThanks Kelli. I was considering stepping back from the blog but this week I had 3 authors reach out to me about the book club. I feel like that was a sign that I need to keep going. I'm trying to balance it all, and trying to get my week's posts sketched out on the weekend, so that during the week I can be more present. So far, so good.
DeleteSorry things have been crazy for you. Looks like you've got a good handle on things now though.
ReplyDeleteMy Labrador is 10 years old and I still have a hard time doing yoga and exercising without her trying to be a part of it.
I'm just trying to keep my perspective and my sense of humor! Which is probably why things got a little out of control..
DeleteWow. You have a lot going on. I am still in awe every time you talk about your strength training routine. I do nothing but run.
ReplyDeleteJust wait til you're my age. The memory thing gets worse.
Oh great! Just what I needed to hear...
DeleteI think this time of year, even with no proverbial flies in the ointment, is chaotic. Add in the unforeseen things and it quickly becomes overwhelming. I do love Matthew's smile in that pic. A broken leg like his is a total killer for awhile. But it too shall pass. My dogs need to come see yours at 4:30 instead of getting me up! 100 pushups are easy. I will remember that as I struggle and swear. :)
ReplyDeleteI agree with you 100%--life is crazy this time of year. Throw in a broken leg and a new puppy, and you have a recipe for complete forgetfulness!
DeleteThat 4:30 am wake up call is little boys all over again isn't it.? �� You will get through this slump. Your tough. And even though your not going tubs graduation ceremony.., I think that you know it's the right thing for you son and in your heart you're ok with it. �� Three grasses of subs is absolutely ok. Sometimes in life we need an off switch. Mine is a good craft beer!
ReplyDeleteOmg! Autocorrected. Ha ! Three glasses of wine. And 'not going to his'. Who has the memory lapse? Or it may be my two beers. Either way! Cheers!!!!
DeleteHahaha! Thanks for making me laugh! Three grasses of subs! LOL! I needed that!
DeleteYou really do have a lot going on all at once! Don't be so hard on yourself. All of the sudden you have a teenager who needs you to do a lot of things you did for him when he was a toddler. That's a big change for both of you.It is so hard when our kids are sick or injured bc we can't always just magically fix it. Bigger kids and bigger problems. He looks like he is healing well and hopefully the whole summer won't be a loss. Hang in there mama! Becky is one tough cookie too btw
ReplyDeleteOh yes, she is! I need her my life. She keeps me from getting into my head.
DeleteYou've done a great job of holding things in a positive light. It's good to accept how stressful things have been for you and move beyond that. The storm has hopefully passed! That's disappointing about your son's summer with the cast. I hope that the healing process goes smoothly. Congrats to your son for graduating!
ReplyDeleteI hope for smooth sailing for here on out...but as the mom of teens, I'm pretty sure that's too much to ask!
DeleteMy memory has been complete crap for a few years now. I have to write everything down (or more accurately make a note of it in my iPhone right away), otherwise I am sure to forget about it. Sounds like you have a lot on your plate right now in addition to your usual.... so have that 3rd glass of wine when you need it.
ReplyDeleteI really do need to start writing things down (or putting them in my phone!).
DeleteWendy - I think it's completely normal that your memory is a bit compromised when too many things in life are going on. I think your son's accident probably caused you a lot of stress, as it would be for any mom. Subconsciously we worry and then it affects our body and mind.
ReplyDeleteHope Matthew is feeling better very soon and Congrats to your other son for graduating!
Funny how you can just plow ahead and then boom! it all hits you.
DeleteI have missed this space while I was traveling! I'm sorry you're going though some rough stuff and I think it's SO OK to vent/share/tell your story here. It's part of life and we all have these challenges so it's nice to know we are not alone and you are human :-) As for me, my mind is shot from all the travel and I need a vacation from my kids!!!!
ReplyDeleteI can only imagine! I usually feel like I need a vacation after a vacation! LOL!
DeleteWow, I am so sorry to hear about all the issues you are dealing with. Poor Matthew, I feel badly for him to miss all things that are so important at that age. Hopefully summer goes quickly for him and he finds something to stay occupied. Congrats to your other son on his graduation in Dec. and doing well afterwards. I remember my sister did not go to her college graduation and it was a bit controversial but she still earned that degree. Sounds like you are back at the upper body work big time.
ReplyDeleteThe upper body work is somewhat cathartic right now! I swear Becky is earning her $$.
DeleteGood Lord I appreciate your authenticity and honesty. In a world filled with people pretending IM ROCKING MY OWN FACE OFF!!! you normalize my life xoxo
ReplyDeleteI'd rather not be that person! Hoping to go back to rocking my life. I thought I was but you know how reality kicks you in the ass?
DeleteNo new goals. Heck, other than the email thing, I don't even have goals for this month!
ReplyDeleteI hear you about the forgetfulness with all the stressors. I'm sure it's not just forgetfulness, I'm sure you're emotionally and physically tired. I was so stressed out towards the end with Chester, and so tired with being woken up several times a night -- so scared I'd give Lola his bowl with all those medications one day and kill her. Or give him the wrong meds. And there was the time I transferred the meds to a new container and couldn't remember which ones I'd transferred . . .
And puppies are work! Which is one reason I have no desire for a puppy. Chester's nickname as a puppy, btw, was piranha. :)
I had forgotten about the piranha thing...we call her a crocodile. Geez.
DeleteOur oldest had 2 summertime broken ankles. It was tough but we all survived. And you will too. Maybe you can do something special once the cast comes off. Don't fret about graduation ceremony. Would he want any type of celebration? A party or event to commemorate? That might provide some closure for you and honor him too. I have the memory problem. Too many irons in my fire!! Thanks for supporting the WW Wendy.
ReplyDeleteWe offered a dinner or a party back in December but he didn't want it. Clearly he just wants to move on.
DeleteI think that you needed a bit of a mental break, honestly. When life gets crazy, we all need to check out and just survive for a bit. But then it is indeed time to re-engage and get back at it, especially before we miss out on our lives themselves.
ReplyDeleteI am not a parent, but as someone a bit in the middle, I think that you give your son who graduated the reins. He obviously wants them. Tell him that you support him, you want to honor his achievement, but you also want it to be something that is meaningful to him BUT give the stipulation that it must involve the rest of the family in some (productive and positive) way. He can't just go to 6 Flags on his own (but he can take the family).
I'm completely supportive of him. But selfishly, I would have liked to see him walk!
DeleteThank God for running/Crossfit/fitness, right? It helps us get through so much. It is so tough for a mom not to take on all the weight of her family, but just take a look for the moment at what you've accomplished. You got your oldest son through high school, which a couple years ago looked doubtful. I shared a few things back then with you, so I know the stress that caused/causes you. Yes he chose a different path for graduation, but now he and you will be moving to a happier time, and a slightly different, but equally as joyous, relationship. And Matthew's broken leg will heal. For him, it probably sounds like forever, but you know how fast that time will go. Hang in there, mama, you're doing great.
ReplyDeleteI knew you'd get it! It's just that everything has happened at once.
DeleteI very much enjoyed my high school graduation, but I haven't been to any of the reunions. I just don't want to go, I don't live there anymore, and my closest friends don't live there anymore either. If your son is happy, that's all that matters. Why not do something special with him that day, if he wants?
ReplyDeleteI have a love-hate relationship with high school but I have gone to a couple of reunions and see some of my friends still. It's not a great experience for everyone and I totally understand.
DeleteGorgeous pictures! I didn't attend my graduation either, for a lot of reasons. I empathize with your son so much - for some of us high school just sucks. It will get better though.
ReplyDeleteGlad to know he's not the only one..
DeleteDoing 100 pushups at once it's a huge challenge! I think I've only ever done 10 at once. This makes me want to step it up! I feel for your son. :(
ReplyDelete100 is the goal!
DeleteThe honesty of your blog is very refreshing, Wendy. Sounds like you are doing your best at staying afloat in the midst of some challenges! It's wonderful to see that running is an outlet for you. As always, your photos are inspiring, and you look really strong.
ReplyDeleteThank you! I try to stay positive but this week was just too much..
DeleteI think we all try to focus on the positive...but sometimes I think it's important to allow ourselves time to be sad/mad/etc. during tough times too. As long as we don't stay in the place for too long, I think it helps to embrace all the emotions life throws at us.
ReplyDeleteBig hugs to you hon, as a fellow #ihaveateenthatstruggles Mom, I get it. xo
I don't like being in the sad place! Hopefully it will pass quickly.
DeleteI had a friend throw their own back yard BBQ/graduation ceremony for their son when he didn't want to participate in the official graduation ceremony (this was for college). If he was willing that might be a fun compromise to still celebrate the moment and accomplishment.
ReplyDeleteMy upper body strength sucks so bad. I'm enjoying following your summer progress and need to get on board with my own push-up program if nothing else. I'm tired of doing wimpy knee push ups. :)
The push ups are my favorite overall exercise. There's nothing better than using your own body weight to get stronger.
DeleteLife certainly seems to have a way of everything piling up on us all at once, doesn't it? From what you've shared, it seems like you're handling things the best that you can, and that's all that you can ask of yourself. Here's to things getting a bit easier to handle!
ReplyDeletePiling up is exactly how it feels!
DeleteStress is no joke and it sounds like you've had a bucket load lately. I enjoy your balanced approach on your blog - thanks for not being a Debbie Downer but also for not being a Perfect Patty! Sorry you're going through all this. It does all seem to pile on at once, doesn't it?
ReplyDeleteI really try to keep it positive but I reached critical mass this weekend!
DeleteI'm sorry to hear life has bee rough lately! May seems to be a very stressful month!
ReplyDeleteI am glad your son is off the long cast, I hope his summer gets better! It has to be difficult to be home with the cast! Does he read? I hope he finds something to do with his time!
50 push ups!! OmG! that sounds really hard!
He's been doing ok with all his free time--playing xbox is one of his favorite things...
DeleteI'm not joking when I say I have CRS (can't remember shi...stuff) - but that's different than forgetting things, like what you've been experiencing. I'm sure it's due to just TOO MUCH STUFF happening in all aspects of your life right now. I hope you feel more centered soon. I also have to comment on A) that adorable puppy picture :) and B) how freaking strong you are - Workout Wendy is on point!
ReplyDeleteI like it. CRS. That's what I have.
DeleteTough times mom- for sure. A little extra wine and forgetfulness sounds about right! Sounds like the young one is on the road to recovery and hopefully won't miss all of the summer excitement. My son did not walk for high school graduation. I know how you feel, kind of like you were robbed.It's still an ache. Cheers to a better week!
ReplyDeleteI'm so glad to know I'm not the only one going through this. Ayyyy! These kids!
DeleteEver since kids, my memory has gotten pretty bad. Sometimes I don't even know what day it is so I understand. You've been crazy busy. Ah your puppy is so cute but they are lots of work. Hanging from a bar is tough! Love your pics as always. I think I will work on my push ups too! Hoping for a better week for you!
ReplyDeleteI agree with you about the mom memory thing. But the last month or so, it's been bad! Hoping I get some grounding again!
DeleteI'm sorry your oldest doesn't want to participate in graduation. :( I didn't go to my undergrad or graduate ceremonies but I don't think my mom cared because I did the HS thing. Actually I think they were happy they didn't have to make the 4hr one way drive to my college hahaha!
ReplyDeleteI hope you get your head back in the game soon! Just rub that cute puppy's belly and all will be right in the world. ;)
If she doesn't bite me first!LOL!
Delete"Tabata hollows to Supermans" sound very intimidating. I would have forgotten what those were on purpose! Becky sounds like she is all business, for sure, making you do burpees like that. Those are some killer strength workouts you knocked out, especially the bar hangs! You have been going through a LOT these last few weeks with Matthew's broken leg - I didn't realize until you mentioned it just how much of a domino effect it would have on all of his summer activities, driving. That is a bummer that your oldest doesn't want to participate in the graduation ceremony - I can totally relate to how you must feel. It takes a lot of strength for you as his mom to let him make his own decisions - be proud of yourself for that!!!
ReplyDeleteOh, yes, she's all about mental toughness. She's been really good for me, both physically and mentally!
DeleteOh man, can I relate to this. I have been feeling quite scatterbrained lately. I feel like I can't keep up with work and the blog and life in general. I think practicing a bit more mindfulness is key. That and some relaxation techniques. I hope this coming week is better for you!
ReplyDeleteYep, and the thought of giving up the blog has crossed my mind more than once. I'm going to give it the summer and see how things shake out. But I don't like this feeling of being overwhelmed at all!
Delete:hug: to you. You have definitely had a lot going on and no matter how incredible you are, no one can hold it all together 24/7. Just take things one day at a time and be kind to yourself.
ReplyDeleteI can't believe how big Cocoa is getting! What a cutie pie! The puppy stage is HARD. It's been a while since we had a teensy puppy in the house (not for lack of trying, because obviously I forget those tiny teeth), but I remember when Molly used to wake us up at 4:30 and demand to be fed. And then demand to play. I think she slept worse than little man! But Cocoa will get on track, soon! Hang in there, Wendy!
I sure hope she gets on track. Actually, I hope my husband gets on track...
DeleteAw, that's gotta be tough to see your son so bummed about his leg over the summer. Hopefully things get better soon. I'm glad to hear your PF is feeling better...my calves have been really unhappy with me lately and super tight, ugh! Hanging from a bar is sooo hard, you make it look easy! :)
ReplyDeleteIf you'd seen me on Thursday, easy wouldn't have been what I was portraying! The limiting factor to those bar hangs is my hands--it really hurts!
DeleteUgh, stress saps brain cells for sure -- even cute puppy-sized stress. I'm glad to hear your oldest son is doing well! My daughter skipped her college graduation but luckily our son let us celebrate his. :-)
ReplyDeleteThe more people who tell me this, the better I feel...misery sure loves company!
DeleteSounds like you've got a lot going on. Great job with your workouts and push ups! The 100 push ups challenge sounds fun!
ReplyDeleteI'm feeling sore from my 50 on Sunday and haven't been able to push up since!
DeleteI feel for Matthew, I can relate! Stress totally saps brain cells, it's the story of my life. My job has been super stressful these last few months and I have become very forgetful. I don't have any new goals except to get healthy! Good luck with your challenges this month! 100 push ups, no problem for you!! :)
ReplyDeleteIt's kind of nice to have a new challenge since I'm not training for anything!
DeleteReading through your post, I found that I was relating in so many ways. Life really knows how to hand it to you all at once or at least that's how it feels. I, too, have been forgetting things. Unfortunately, it ends up being something that seems trivial to me but is important to others. I need to work on that. Hope things start to calm down for you and your puppy learns to sleep in a little :)
ReplyDeleteThat's kind of life, right? You're up, I'm down... and so it goes. I just hate that it all came down at once. I'm glad I got the reminder to be more mindful.
DeleteLife really does crap on us sometimes! I appreciate your honesty and keeping it real. My Dad always says... "This too shall pass..." and it just to just annoy me... but as I get older I appreciate it and it helps me just put my head down and get through the hard times without getting so upset. Doesn't make it any less hard. Hope good time are ahead!
ReplyDeleteIt's really true, and I keep telling myself things will get better. They will. They always do!
DeleteWow! Sounds like a tough time for you. Thankful for the outlet of physical activity. I'm sorta resetting, backing off a little after a difficult spring racing season with some decline in times. My body seems to be indicating some burnout, so I'm backing off distance and trying to heal up and refocus.
ReplyDeleteI love that I have running and yoga and strength training. It's all for me. And that's what I need to get through this rough spot.
DeleteUGH!!! ROAD BLOCKS are the friggin' WORST! BUT it seems like even though they are trying to mess with you, you've taken them by the.... BALLS... And thrown them aside! ;)
ReplyDeleteRoadblocks are exactly what this feels like. More keep coming at me. Bam, pow, I just keep punching them away...
DeleteCute boy! Cute puppy! I think we call those hollow rocks here - they are tough! My week is going okay so far. I've been going to hot yoga and getting in my runs. It's pretty hot here now so I am getting in some heat training too!
ReplyDeleteHaha, hollow rocks? It's been tough but luckily yep, I'm surrounded by cuteness!
Delete100 push ups all at once? Man, what a challenge! I do good to do 10 in a row. It is no lie about hanging from a bar! Isn't it the simple things that get you the most!!! You have had a lot going on but boy do you hide it well. I'm so struggling to keep up, somethings got to give and soon! I was happy with my variety of activity this past week and I'm still enjoying my kayak so much!
ReplyDeleteBecky talked me out of that 100 pushups in a row goal. She said it was "stupid"! LOL! But there will be 100 pushups.
DeleteYou've had a lot going on lately. It's no surprise that you've forgotten a thing or two. I honestly don't know what I'd do with myself sometimes if I didn't run. It's my outlet for sure. Cheaper than therapy, right?
ReplyDeleteI don't know what I'd do without it either!
DeleteI'm glad it isn't just me getting overwhelmed! Life is hard! Thank goodness for running.
ReplyDeleteWow, I've read a couple of your posts and I must say an interest to run is being stirred in me. It's kind of funny since I just got serious with exercise last year. I've since realized that exercise can build my mental health and help me cope with life challenges. I really need it as I'm currently going through a challenging period. I love the transparency in your posts.
ReplyDeleteThank you for reading! Yes, exercise is the best medicine for all that life throws at you!
Delete