Showing posts with label humor. Show all posts
Showing posts with label humor. Show all posts

Friday, April 1, 2016

The Runner's Guide to the Rules of the Road

It's spring and everyone is heading outside to run and bike. It's the best time of year to be an endurance athlete. It's also the best time of year to get run down by a distracted driver. It's up to the runner to be aware of the hazards on the road. Plus now that I've completed my online driving school aka punishment for talking on my phone while driving, I'm pretty much an expert on this subject.

The Runner's Guide to The Rules of the Road

Last week on my epic 45 mile bike ride, I was huffing and puffing my way towards home. An unhelmeted guy on a bike was coming towards me, gesturing wildly. "Move over!" he screeched, waving me to the opposite side of the street. "You're going the wrong way!" he said. Ok, buddy. Have another cocktail. I was riding WITH traffic because bicycles must follow the car rules of the road. As if I'd take advice from an idiot riding helmetless into traffic.

source: giphy.com
Then I read this story about a runner who was pulled over by the police for running in the road with traffic. In many states, runners can use both the road and the sidewalk, but in Michigan where this story took place, there's a law against running in the road when there is a sidewalk present. If there is no sidewalk, then pedestrians have to run facing traffic. This is the law where I live as well. Since I mostly run in the road, it appears that I am a law breaking runner, although I do run facing oncoming traffic. I run past the police all the time and I've never gotten pulled over. I'm sure it's because they are on their way to ticket motorists who are talking on their cell phones.

Ok, I get the whole running on the sidewalk thing, except that where I live, the sidewalks are in questionable condition, pocked with holes and uneven surfaces. We all know that I'm accident prone. I freely admit to tripping over the curb in front of Target and face planting into the bike rack. This stunt, which bought me 5 stitches in my face and a ride to the ER in an ambulance happened a few years back when I was dashing across the parking lot to get into the store. Why I was running, I don't know. Maybe it was the day after Halloween and all the chocolate was 50% off. But it just proves my point that sidewalks are dangerous for runners.

The Runner's Guide to the Rules of the Road
And yet another reason to avoid the sidewalks...
Not only are the conditions of most sidewalks questionable, sometimes they are impassable. Most of the houses where I live were mostly built in the 1960s, in the days before people drove giant SUVs. When I'm running through my neighborhood, I often reflect on how some people's cars seem bigger than their houses. And many of the homes have one car garages, which is hard to fathom in today's world where everyone in the family seems to have a car. So there are a lot of cars parked in the driveways, across the sidewalks, bumper to bumper, which means I have nowhere to run but in the street.

If you do run in the road, always run against traffic. The cars might not see you, but at least you can see them coming. Cars don't always like that I run in the road, which is why I try to wear high visibility clothing. But I guess if a driver is looking down at their phone or putting on makeup, then it doesn't matter what I'm wearing--they can't see me. It's a risk I take every time I go out for a run or even a bike ride for that matter. And even when the drivers can see me, there have been attempts to run me off the road. While I hate to profile the drivers who tend to do that, it seems like most are elderly gentlemen driving very large sedans. Usually with a little white haired lady in the front street.

The Runner's Guide to the Rules of the Road

Everyone advises against wearing headphones while you are running. It's just common sense. Not only does listening to music make it tougher for you to hear what's going on around you (like an approaching car), it also makes you less aware. We all know I love to run with my music. Sometimes I get so into the zone--my music perfectly matches my pace--that I kind of forget where I am. If you are running in the road, that's just a recipe for disaster.

I don't know if it's a law everywhere, but where I live, cars must stop for pedestrians in the crosswalk. Even though it's the law, I can't even count the number of times I've almost been run down in the crosswalks by cars who blow the stop signs. It happens to me at least once a week. Sometimes I see the police sitting in the road to monitor them, but they don't do it during the morning rush. I recently had a really close call crossing the street to the hospital where I work. I was in the crosswalk when a car came flying down the street, honked at me, swerved around me, and gave me multiple views of his business finger.

No matter what, if you have a close call with a car, let it go and move on. As angry as you might be, don't give the car a punch or the driver the finger. Remember that you aren't supposed to be running in the road. Plus you don't want to be that a**hole runner and make things bad for all us runners. That runner in the story above? She ended up getting into a tussle with the police officer and spit on him. Do you think he's going to give a free pass to the next runner he catches in the road? I always wave a greeting to cars who stop to let me cross, even if I have the right of way. And yes, I always wave to the police when they drive by.

The Runner's Guide to the Rules of the Road
But he hasn't run a marathon.
Don't be Chuck Norris.
Bottom line: if you run in the road, all your spidey senses have to be engaged. Remember that story I shared a few years ago about the cyclist getting hit by the newspaper delivery man in my neighborhood? That driver was a menace. I had a lot of experience avoiding him--sometimes having to run up onto the parkway to avoid getting hit. He would drive all over the road to deliver his papers. He also drove like he was in a time trial to get his papers delivered as quickly as possible. Cyclists are more likely to be hit by cars, but we've all read stories about runners vs cars.

Be careful out there!

Did I miss anything? Sidewalk or road? With traffic or against? What do you do when you encounter an inconsiderate motorist?

I don't even know if I have 5 things here but I'm linking up with the DCTrifecta for the Friday Five! Courtney, Mar, and Cynthia host the best link up! So many great blogs to read. Check it out!



Friday, March 25, 2016

Runfessions: March Edition

I'm spilling it. Opening up my soul. Got some big runfessions this month. Please don't judge. It's all good...

Runfessions: March Edition

Let's start with the biggest runfession ever. Well, besides that last post about my affairDeep breath. I runfess that I've been totally downplaying my injuries here on the blog. Trying to stay positive is my mojo. But with Big Sur breathing down my neck, I'm kind of running out of time here, and I'm feeling a little panicked. I don't need sympathy. I don't need advice. With my coach, my doctor, and my expert friends, I'm in good hands. What I do need is good vibes. Just get me to that start line, ok, maybe I'm being greedy here, but get me to the finish line of Big Sur. Let me walk away without a limp. And then let me enjoy my week with my husband.

Runfessions: March Editions

Along these lines, I've modified my training plan significantly. I went for a test run on Tuesday, and while the run was mostly pain-free, as the day went on, my foot started to hurt and the hip was "there". Not painful but "there". You know that sensation. What this tells me is that there will continue to be lots of cross training and not a whole lot of running. I'll have time on the road because that is important. But I came to the realization that morning that a long run is not going to happen in this training cycle. And there's the truth: I runfess that no long run doesn't make me sad. At all. If this race was about a finish time, I'd be more worried. But this isn't my first rodeo, and I think know I can do this. Even with minimal running. Thank you to everyone who chimed in about this. I won't be the first to complete a marathon without much running.

Runfessions: March Edition

Earlier this week I shared with you that I cried in front of my coach. I'm just glad she didn't make me do burpees. What I want to runfess today that I may have had a temper tantrum later that day. After I drowned my iPhone, I spun my wheels trying to get a new one. Since I wasn't due for an upgrade, I learned I would have to pay full price for a new one. I found that hard to swallow. The Apple Store wouldn't give me an exchange since my phone had water damage. After waiting 20 minutes in line behind a guy who was arguing over a $4 charge on his bill, the Sprint store I told me they only had 2 phones left, a 128GB 6S plus or a 64GB 6S. I may have uttered the f-word as I walked out of the store. Maybe I pounded my fists on my thighs as I f-worded my way back to my car. I might have hit my head on the steering wheel a few times. When I look back on it, I'm a little really embarrassed. Let's just chalk it all up to a really bad week filled with injuries, frustrations, and stupidity on my part. I've finally got a phone. I'm back on track. Life is good.


Maybe I need to change more than my training plan. All these bloggers are posting about healthy eating. Nicole's got all these yummy Paleo creations, Deborah's making vegetarian treats, and Julie posts gluten-free goodness. Meanwhile, I runfess that I'm over here eating pizza every Friday night, drinking wine with dinner, and eating chocolate all the time. No lie. But I've been trialing GreenBlender smoothies this week (next week I'll have a full review), and they've been delicious and healthy. I really need to turn it around. Some good incentive right there.


Finally, when I was in Florida with my parents, I runfess that I felt like a little kid. My mom and dad wouldn't let me drive myself to my race because they were worried about me driving by myself. To that hotbed of crime, Sarasota. Heck, I drive to Chicago all the time, and we all know what's going on there! At one point during my trip, I was sitting in the backseat of their car, listening to them bicker. The easy listening music was playing. I started texting my sister:



Some things never change...

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Another month, another round of runfessions! You still love me don't you? What do you have to share? You can link up with Marcia or just head over there to read more runfessions! This is the most fun link up around!













I'm also linking up with the DC Trifecta aka Courtney, Mar, and Cynthia for the Friday Five!

Wednesday, March 23, 2016

I'm having an affair...with running

I've got something to confess. I know, runfessions isn't until Friday. But it's been weighing heavily on my conscience.

I'm having an affair.

Happily married? Sure. But my heart doesn't belong to one. Before you start to judge, my affair isn't with another person.

I'm in love with running. This isn't anything new. But for the last couple of weeks, it seems to have taken on a new importance.

I'm having an affair with running

Sing it with me: (with apologies to Billy Paul) "Me-eee, I-IIII, me and the road, me and the road, me and the roooad....we've got a thing, going on. We both know that it's wrong. But it's much too strong...."

This past weekend, my husband and I were planning the rest of our trip to California. We picked out hotels and talked about sightseeing after the Big Sur Marathon. We went to the California coast for our honeymoon, 27 years ago. This time around, we want to see some of the things we missed.

27 years ago in San Francisco
"It's going to be our second honeymoon!" I exclaimed.

"It is NOT a second honeymoon," my husband said. "We're going because you're running."

Stunned, I didn't know how to respond. I mean, so what I'm running? We would not be taking this trip if it weren't for running. Right? And who encouraged me to put my name into the Big Sur marathon lottery in the first place? Hmm? Mr Man?

He didn't answer me that one.

My husband has always had a love/hate relationship with my running. He supports me, no doubt. He's always proud when I finish a race, and he loves to hear my finish times. The medals always make him smile. I hear him bragging about my running accomplishments to other people. But he's always been a little ambivalent about it. He makes snide comments about all the time I spend training. The blog. I've never been quite sure why.

So when Deb posted this week's word prompt: faithful, I started thinking about this a little bit.

When I look at my running like an affair, well, I guess I can see things a little more clearly.

I looked up some signs that indicate your spouse is cheating on you and applied them to running:

-Your spouse starts dressing better. Well, isn't that the truth? I've made no secret of my obsession with running clothes. Who wants to run in baggy old sweats?

Tell me these Athleta tights aren't on point...
-Your spouse frequently disappears out of the blue. Well, I do tell him where I'm going but sometimes I run farther than I planned.

My 3 hour bike ride? ooops....
-Dropping another person's name into the conversation. I do talk about running a lot.

-Excessive internet usage is a red flag. Guilty as charged. I sit in front of the TV with my laptop opened all the time. Posting my runs, blogging, connecting with other like minded folks...

-Your spouse starts forgetting everything you tell them and/or you have to repeat everything you've told them. Their thoughts are elsewhere. What?



-Your spouse starts encouraging you to have an interest all your own. I've been really supportive of his home brewing. Sampling the beers. Isn't that what a supportive spouse does?

-Your spouse comes home and heads straight to the shower. To wash away any signs of infidelity. But really, is this wrong to do after a run?

When I look at it, the signs are all there. It appears that I may not be the faithful spouse that I pride myself on.

But if cheating by running is wrong, well then...I don't want to be right.

Do you have a jealous spouse when it comes to running? How do you balance your marriage and your love for running?

I'm linking up with DebRuns for Wednesday Word. Today's word is faithful. I can't wait to see what everyone has to say about this one!











I'm also linking up with Wild Wednesday: AngelenaMarie, Annmarie, Nicole, and Michelle are hosting the party! Check out Annmarie's bluetooth headphones giveaway!





Friday, March 11, 2016

5 fun things.. Yoga and Running and Streaking, oh my!

This one's coming to you from sunny Florida. With all the focus on Big Sur, I haven't talked much about it, but yes, I am running a half marathon this weekend! Pretty sure this one will not be a PR, but I'm hoping to respect myself at the finish line. Since I'm not taking the race too seriously, I'm not taking this week's Friday Five too seriously either. Can you say vacation mode?


You know someone who's streaking, right? I mean run streaking. I mean running every day. I see these posts on Facebook, and I think, wow! I'm lucky if my feet will let me run 4 days per week. But every day? I'm such a wimp. I went to the USRSA Active Run Streak list to find the runner who has been streaking the longest. His name is Jim Sutherland, and he has been running every day since May 26, 1969. As of this post, that is 17, 090 days. IN A ROW. I perused the list to find the longest streaking woman, and her name is Lois Bastien. She's 79 and has been running 13, 110 days, since 1980.

Where were you in 1969? Were you running? I was...on the playground at school. Does that count?

giphy.com
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And speaking of streaking... Did you know that last week, March 5 was World Naked Bike Day? At least in the southern hemisphere, it was. Don't worry, those of us in the northern hemisphere will get our chance on June 11. In the interest of research, I found out that the Chicago ride is the 5th annual Naked Bike Ride. Don't have a bike? You can skate. Don't want to be completely naked? You can body paint. There's a list of rules on the web page, and the location is not disclosed until a few days before the event. That's to keep the creepers away.

from the 2014 ride
I can't believe I've never heard of this event! You'd think it would be all over the news. After all, the purpose of the ride is to "deliver a cleaner, safer, body positive world". I'm not exactly sure how riding naked delivers this message. But you didn't think people just rode naked, for fun, did you? The seat on my bike is pretty uncomfortable. Sans pants? I don't even want to think about it.

Their motto is "less gas, more ass". Pretty sure they mean gas of the petroleum type, right?

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The next time you stop to take a runfie or strike a yoga pose think about this: more people die from taking selfies than from getting attacked by sharks. According to this article on Mashable, people are taking higher risks to get their selfies, in order to capture a memorable photo.

I haven't done anything risky for a selfie, but I have my share of fails:

Trying valiantly to get that leg up into side plank!
Headstand fail
No fail but balancing on a wall in high lunge?  Ok, some risk here...
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These T-rex Tuesday videos have been making my week. After seeing this ice skating video, I was hooked. This week they were roller derbying. Oh my! So much silliness, cuteness, and fun all wrapped up in one little clip. You can follow them on Facebook to see what T-rex is up to each week!

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And finally, if you haven't made up your mind about which candidate measures up, and you're not impressed with the Donald's claims about the little Donald, maybe you want to pick a candidate who claims to have been a runner. Runner's World analyzed the candidates for us. Of course, some of the ones they listed have dropped out of the race. Democratic candidate Bernie Sanders was a track and field runner in his youth, laying claim to a 4:37 mile. Bernie is promoting a healthy lifestyle as part of his campaign. According to this article, Bernie chops wood for exercise. On the red team, Marco Rubio claims an athletic past, running a 4.65 40 yard dash as a collegiate. Rubio was a college football player, and still works out regularly. While all the other candidates claim some form of exercise, none of them are runners. 

Of course, last summer, Donald Trump told a little boy he was Batman. So there's that.

source
In case you needed something else to help make your decision, Ted Cruz is offering yoga mats. With his name. Inspired by his advice at one of the debates to Trump to "just breathe". 'Merican made. Namaste off this one. 

It's the silly season...

What's tickling your funny bone these days? 

I'm linking this one up with the DC Trifecta for their Friday Five link up! Courtney, Mar, and Cynthia host this awesome linkup! Check it out!








Friday, January 29, 2016

Runfessions for January

It's time once again for that monthly confessional, hosted by my friend Marcia at Marcia's Healthy Slice. You know you want to bare all...now is your chance to share. Come on in, the water's fine...


What you see isn't always what you get....
So you all know that I'm participating in SweatPink's #flexandflow yoga challenge. Every day, the ladies at SP post the pose of the day and participants not only strike a pose, but they also have to present it creatively. I've had a blast channelling my creative side here. Yep, nurse practitioner by day, creative yogi by night. But I have to runfess is that sometimes there are many takes before I get "the shot". When I use the timer on my phone, I have only 10 seconds to set up the pose. It doesn't always fall into place in time. The camera catches it all!

Like this:
This is what you saw. Headstand. With a beautiful sunrise.
And this:
Oops!
What you didn't see. Actually, no one saw it hopefully. I was alone in the park. Whew.
And ouch. This one made my sons laugh out loud.
But it was on sale....
I must runfess that since the holidays I have been buying ALL THE THINGS. Last week, I was meeting my friend Sara for lunch and...oh, how interesting...Athleta is right next to the restaurant we chose. They just happened to have 20% off all the sale items. And I just happened to have a coupon. The prices were irresistible and I couldn't help myself. I'd call it therapy, except that I also bought a few things from REI earlier in the week. 



A blogger in real life...
I have to runfess that it's always a little awkward when a random stranger tells me they read my blog. This time, it happened last week, while I was in line at Whole Foods. The woman in front of me was talking to the cashier about a half marathon she was supposed to run in Florida that was cancelled due to storms. Of course, anytime I hear someone talking about running, my ears perk up. My Mrs Kravitz powers kicked in and I eavesdropped. When she turned to me and told me she reads my blog, I was, of course, thrilled because yay, someone reads my blog, and simultaneously embarrassed because oh no, someone reads my blog! We chatted and it turns out she lives very close to me. I told her to drop me a line so we can meet up for a run. Hi, Alicia! Thank you!


#Branding...
I runfess that I've been giving the brand ambassador thing a lot of thought. One of the brands that I worked with in the past upped the ante for their ambassadors this year. They developed a kit that ambassadors were required to purchase, which included compression socks and a shirt. The new requirements were for ambassadors to wear the shirt and socks for races and training photos. I'm always honored to be chosen as a brand ambassador, and I understand that we have to represent the brand in exchange for discounts on products and other perks. I'm happy to promote the products and share product reviews and discounts on social media. But the requirement to purchase the kit and wear it to every race bothered me. A lot. Shouldn't they be providing the kit? Sadly, I've parted ways with that company. 


News you can use....
I runfess that on my nightstand, I have a stack of Runner's World and Running Times from July to present. Between my niece's Girl Scout magazine sale and my CARA membership, I think I'm subscribed through 2017. I need to get through the pile before the next issue comes. Yesterday, I read the December issue of Runner's World and besides the usual array of running articles, I learned a few new things:
-Did you know that smoking marijuana is a "thing" for many long distance runners? Apparently the natural endocannabinoids aren't enough for that runner's high...nope, these runners toke up on the run. For nausea control and that chill vibe, apparently. That might be the only way you'd see me running an ultra distance. But if you want to try pot running with a shorter distance, the 420 Games might be for you. It's a 4.2 mile run. Brownies at the finish.
-The best shoe for you? Is the one that fits. A large retrospective study published in the British Journal of Sports Medicine found that the best running shoe for a runner is the one that is the most comfortable. And there you go. Advice you can take to the road. Oh, and maximalist shoes are a "thing" now. And "bounce" shoes. 
-Finally, I learned that RBF (resting bitch face) is also a thing in running (RBF) as well. Explains why often I don't get runners waving back at me. Apparently, this is how I look most often: 

I'm not having a bad run. It's just my RBF.
What do you have to runfess? Any brand ambassadors that are required to sport logo gear for races? Ever been recognized by a random stranger who knows you from social media? Any great buys from holiday sales you want to share? Running bitch face anyone? 

Besides linking up with Marcia, I'm also linking this post with the DC Trifecta for Friday Five. Head over to Courtney, Mar, and Cynthia's blogs to see what everyone is sharing today.