Product review: SPIBelt

Truth be told...I don't like things around my waist. Maybe it's because I don't have much of a waist (I've got long legs and a short torso). I've always hated pants that buttoned at that waist. When low waisted pants came into style, it was a dream come true for me. I fear the day when high waisted pants are back.

Mom jeans snl.com

About 4 years ago, at the Walt Disney World marathon expo, I was shopping for a waist pack to carry my phone and my iPod in during the race (I was running the half). I didn't have much success with an armband (chafing) or a waist clip (I broke several of them) and I didn't want to carry anything in my hand. I walked by a booth for SPIbelt. There were some cute ladies modeling the SPIbelts. The SPIbelt features an adjustable elastic band and the salesperson promised me that I could wear it low around my hips and it wouldn't move. I was skeptical, but desperate times call for desperate measures, and because I run outside almost exclusively, I purchased the Water resistant model.

My water resistant SPIbelt performed much better than I did at last year's Florida Beach Halfathon!

I'm happy to say that same SPIbelt has been around my hips on my 4 times/weekly runs ever since. I've run in the pouring rain, and my phone has stayed dry. The pouch lies flat on my lower abdomen and doesn't move or bounce, no matter how much stuff I put in in it! I've run multiple distance events, and the SPIbelt has not let me down. I use my SPIbelt on bike rides and when I go kayaking. I've even used my SPIbelt for trips to the ballpark and other outings.

If you look closely, you can see my SPIbelt, helping keep my iPhone safe!

Only once, the SPIbelt let me down and it was only because I'm a packrat. Last fall, when I ran Chicago, I needed to bring, along with my usual gear, 3 packs of Tailwind Nutrition, which I use to fuel. The problem was, I couldn't fit all 3 of them, my phone, and other essentials in the SPIbelt. I ended up wearing an old fanny pack and the SPIbelt to carry everything. The SPIbelt didn't move. The fanny pack kept rotating around my waist and annoyed me. I should have bought another SPIbelt and used two of them. I know that the SPIbelts wouldn't have budged. Live and learn.

SPIbelt stayed put and held almost all my stuff for 26.2!

Last month, I received an email from Jessica at SPIbelt asking me if I'd be interested in doing a product review for them. She told me to pick out 2 products of my choice to trial. I picked out the Endurance model, which is described as larger for longer races, and the Double-pocket model, which has 2 pouches. I received the Double-pocket model but instead of the Endurance model, I received the Original SPIbelt. The elastic on my old Water resistant SPIbelt was starting to get kind of stretched out, so I welcomed the Original. The SPIbelts come in a variety of color and patterns, but I'm a basic kind of gal, and so I ordered black. There are also multiple models and other products on the website.

The original SPIbelt

Since receiving it, I've taken the Original SPIbelt out on multiple runs. It functions similarly to my old Water resistant model, with one exception. It isn't water resistant. Over the last couple of weeks, I've run a few speedwork sessions in the pouring rain. At the end of the runs, my phone wasn't wet, but it wasn't exactly dry. The word I would use is moist. Now that I know this, and if I'm expecting rain, I'll go back to my old Water resistant model. Or pack my phone in a zip baggie. Otherwise, I'm quite happy with the Original. I have used it for my last 2 races, and was able to fit a pack of wipes, some chafing cream, my drivers license, Visa card, $10 bill, car key, and my iPhone all in the pack. Even with all the stuff I had in there, the belt stayed in place on my hips, and maintained a flat profile under my shirt.

You can't see it but it's there! Stuffed full.

The Double-pocket model has a larger pouch and a smaller pouch. I thought this SPIbelt might come in handy to keep my money, key, and license separate from my wipes and iPhone. But the larger pouch is still smaller than the single pouch on the Original, and I couldn't fit much more than my phone into it. I wasn't sure how to position the pouches, because I didn't think that would work well with them on my hips. I rotated the belt around with the large pouch in front, and the belt clip on the side, and that worked just fine. Like the Original model, the belt stayed in place throughout my runs.

Now that I have a few SPIbelts, I think I could use 2 of them on my longer runs, placing one in the front and one in the back. I love that the elastic band stays in place. The Original works great for me. I'd still like to try the Endurance model and see if its larger capacity would really make a difference. Of course, it would probably be better for me not to carry so much stuff! But overall, after 4 years of running with a SPIbelt, I can say that I'm a fan.

Do you use a waist pack? Have you tried the SPIbelt? Do you want to? Go to the website and use the coupon code LONGWAY15 for 10% any product on the site!

disclaimer: I was provided products from SPIbelt for testing and review purposes. All the opinions here are my own. And if I were Oprah, the SPIbelt would be one of my favorite things and all of you would receive one! 

Rewarding

Running is rewarding.

I'm not talking about bling, although I will admit that it is a great feeling to have a medal placed around your neck after running a half or a full marathon. But I don't run for the bling.

I'm not talking about physical fitness, although at 52, it's pretty awesome to be in the best shape of my life. Not to mention being able to eat all the food!

I run for the reward of that feeling of accomplishment of setting a goal and meeting that goal.

I run for the reward of learning how to push myself when I don't feel like I can take another step.

I run for the reward of knowing that in the end, I gave it my all and did my best. Because I don't do anything half-assed--on or off the road.

There's no reward in giving up, in quitting.

"'Cause sometimes you just feel tired, Feel weak, and when you feel weak, you feel like you wanna just give up. But you gotta search within you, you gotta find that inner strength. And just pull that shit out of you and get that motivation to not give up. And not be a quitter, no matter how bad you wanna just fall flat on your face and collapse." 

-Eminem 'Till I Collapse

Yes, this song is on my running playlist. I find motivation wherever I can.

They say the joy is in the journey. And that's true. But there is no sweeter feeling than crossing the finish line.

Achieving those goals isn't easy. I don't know about your training, but my training is tough.

I run 4 days a week. When I'm training for a race, one of those days is speedwork. Another day is a long run. The other 2 days are "just" a run. There's some reward during the training too. Like that day 4 weeks ago, when I blew my speedwork out of the water. I finished in the pouring rain but when I looked at my splits, I felt like the sun was shining on me. Was that speedwork session a fluke? Apparently not, because I've had 2 more just like it. And I'm seeing that speed on the road too. Getting faster? That's rewarding.

It might not look like it, but I was pretty miserable in this picture.

I work with a CrossFit coach one day a week. Only one day? That workout is so tough, I have to take a rest day the next day. Right now we're finishing up interval training. Soon we'll be back into a heavy lifting cycle, where she has me lift obscene amounts of weight, all in the name of firing the glutes. Last week's workout was so hard, I wanted to quit. But what is the reward in that? The reward is in pushing myself to finish a really hard workout. The rewards come later, on the road.

A few years ago, I couldn't complete a half marathon without taking walk breaks. I couldn't imagine running 13.1 miles without stopping to catch my breath. After I started cross training with Becky, I developed more endurance. In September 2013, I ran my first half marathon without stopping. It wasn't a PR, but finishing that race so strong was so rewarding. That race felt so much better to me than the one I ran 2 years before and PR'd--but stopped 3 times. And now? Not only am I rewarded by running a half marathon straight through, I'm running them fast and achieving PRs. That's rewarding.

Running 26.2 without stopping to walk? Unimaginable. Until last fall. Besides redeeming myself by running the race I knew I had in me, I paced it well and only stopped once to use the portapotty and to fill my water bottles every hour. Oh, and give a few hugs to spectators. That finish? Talk about rewarding....

The race I ran this past weekend, where I went out too fast and could have crashed and burned? I dug deep and pulled out some mental strength I didn't know I had. Battled through nausea and tired legs. Shut down those voices that told me to walk, the ones that were telling me "I can't". Finishing strong and never giving up--that was my reward.

Oh and feeling good enough to drink a beer at the finish line? Icing on the cake. Yep, that's rewarding too!

That's why I run. For the rewards.

Why do you run?

I'm linking this post up with several linkups. Normally I don't but the themes overlapped! The theme for this post was so well timed for me...who knew?

Tuesdays on the run with MCM mama, Run the Great Wide Somewhere, and My No-Guilt Life all want to know: why do you run?

Deb Runs is hosting Wednesday Word. What is rewarding to you?

And my ladies Diatta and Sheila host Workout Wednesday! Go over to their blogs to see what everyone is saying!

CARA Lakefront 10 miler race report: PR and IPA

The Live Grit CARA Lakefront 10 miler has to be one of my favorite races. I don't normally run races repeatedly, but this was my 3rd time running this one, and I still love it. The last 2 times I ran this race, I ran it alone, but this year I had the company of my friends Sara and Marcia. We met at my house, and I made them wait while I finished my pre-race breakfast of Cheerios and OJ. The drive into the city was easy and pleasant, as we chatted and gossiped. We got to the race about 1 hour before the start time, and snagged a free! parking spot on the street near the start of the race.

In contrast to the last 2 times I ran this one, the temperature was warm, about 60 degrees and it was sunny. I left my throwaway sweatshirt in the car. This is the third race I've worn this sweatshirt, and I have yet to throw it away. I'm starting to think that this sweatshirt is full of good juju, because every race I've worn it to has been a PR for me. Maybe I need to think twice about tossing it!

Truth be told, I don't even know where this sweatshirt came from!

Anyways, we headed to the gear check tent, left our bags of essentials, and made a stop at the porta-potties. There were a ton of them, and the lines were very short.

Marcia, me, and Sara

We had some time to kill, so we walked over to the lakefront and got some photos. Marcia had plans to connect with Emily, and we walked over to meet her. What a nice person! If you don't already read her blog, you should. She's even more warm and bubbly in person! She introduced Sara and me to Erin and Zenaida, some other local bloggers. It was great to meet them.

Erin, Marcia, Sara, me, Zenaida, and Emily

One more portapotty stop, and I suddenly realized that I left my bottle of Tailwind in my gear bag. I ran over to the gear check and helped the volunteers dig through all the bags to try and find it. When we located it, I ran back to Sara and Marcia, made one more potty stop, and got in line for the race. I lined up with the 8:30 minute milers, hoping for a repeat of my Get Lucky performance. The national anthem was sung, the gun went off, and away we went.

The first 4 miles of the course are kind of a loop-de-loop, and there's giant hill thrown in for fun after mile 3. Personally, I think the hill is stupid. It was probably a garbage pile at one time that the park district covered with dirt and grass. The course runs through the grass, up the hill, and back down onto the path. I started the race too fast, and by the time I finished the hill, I felt like I was going to throw up. I tried hard to get a grip on my pace and my confidence. I got into my head and started sending positive thoughts to my brain. I focused on my music and the motivational lyrics. I worked on getting the pace under control. After the nausea calmed down, I started sipping on my Tailwind. My mind kept screaming quit, walk, but my will wouldn't let me do that. I fought that battle for about 2 miles. It took every ounce of self control to keep running.

By about mile 5, I started to feel much better. I looked down at my watch and saw my split for that mile was 8:23. Seeing that gave me an enormous boost, knowing that I was still running fast and that I felt so much better. I continued along that path at that pace, and I knew then that I would finish this thing strong.

Until mile 6. We had been running south on the lakefront path, with the wind at our backs. When the course turned north, the wind off the lake had picked up and it hit like a cold blast of ice water. I felt at once point that I was being pushed backwards. Mile 7 was difficult, and my split was 8:49. That made me mad. I had already battled through my too fast start, and now this? Determined not to let the wind get the best of me, I continued down the path. There were a lot of trees at this point, and they seemed to be breaking the wind. There were points along the final 4 miles where the wind was just brutal, though. Looking at my splits, I did a good job of battling with it.

I wasn't the only one affected by the wind. I started passing people. There were a couple women that I remember from the start, and I caught up to them. After mile 9, I passed them too. I don't know what happened at mile 9, but my legs started to fly. I spotted a woman in an Oiselle singlet. One of the flock. She looked about my age, and I tried so hard to pass her! As we approached the finish line, I continued to try to catch her. She crossed the finish line shortly before I did. That last mile split was 8:05!

After the race, I went up to her, congratulated her, and told her how I tried to pass her. We joked about being "older", and she asked me how old I was. I told her, and she told me she was 60! My jaw dropped and we talked briefly about this. She said she's been running her best since her 50s. Thrilled to hear this, I hugged her, and wished her luck in her future races. How inspiring was that?

Happy to celebrate with my PR with an IPA!

I met up with Sara, who had a great race but also struggled with the wind. While we waited for Marcia to finish, we collected our gear and put our long sleeves on to warm back up. With the wind picking up off Lake Michigan, the temperature definitely dropped. It was cold. Once we found Marcia, we headed to the beer corral so I could have my celebratory Lagunitas IPA. It's so rare that a race has decent beer at the finish, and I wasn't going to miss out on this one! We reconnected with Emily, Erin, and Zenaida, and talked about the race. The shock of the wind at mile 6 was a common theme heard over and over.

But in spite of my troubles in the beginning and then the wind, what a fun race! Racing in Chicago is always a crapshoot. Here we thought we were going to be too warm, and then mid-race, the wind shifted off the lake, bringing brutal winds and cooler temps to the runners. I was grateful not to overheat, but that was just ridiculous. Since you can't control the weather, you make the best of the day, and that's what we did. It was great to spend the morning with my friends, and to meet some new friends too. Getting to this race is easy and parking is cheap and easy, unheard of for a race in Chicago. Since this race is sponsored by the Chicago Area Runners Association, it is well organized. And who doesn't love a 10 miler?

I'm happy with what turned out to be a 4 minute PR for me, even though my fast finish only got me 5/48 in my age group. This is a tough, competitive race--I call it a runners' race--but that's what I like about it. I'm keeping this one on my must do list.

The final results:

*******************************

I'm linking this post up Tara at RunningNReading for her Weekend Update!

Nice guys finish last

It's a running blog, after all...

Let's face it. It just doesn't feel good to say no. I've been thinking a lot about this the last couple of days. There have been multiple situations where I've been put in an uncomfortable position--where I wanted to be the nice guy, but knew that I needed to say no. I didn't do a very good job at any of them.

Last night, the mother of one of my son's friends called me. She made some small talk and I figured she was just calling to check in on the boys, make sure they were still behaving. But then she brought up the real reason for the call. Her family is going out of town for the weekend, and her son wanted to invite my son and 2 girls to go with them. She repeatedly told me she was uncomfortable with it, hemming and hawing, but wanted to know how I felt.

In other words, she wanted me to be the bad guy. She wanted me to say no. Which, of course, I did. But what I wanted to say to her, "why the f--- can't you just say no?" I didn't, but I wanted to. I do have a filter. Plus, I was walking through the hospital at the time, so there's that.

But truly, this really upset me. I felt like she put me in a bad position, where I couldn't say anything but no. I couldn't tell her how I really felt about her wimpy parenting. And how bad it felt to have to be the bad guy.

Just earlier in the day, I was put in another situation where I needed to say no, but didn't want to be the bad guy. In this instance, I received a message from another blogger, who shall remain nameless. I had never interacted with her before. She told me that she found my blog on another site, and loved the idea of the book club. And would I mind if she started her own running book club?

Who does that?

I checked out her blog, and it's really fancy. Professionally done, with multiple headings and pictures that with a click, take you to another page. She's got ads too, so clearly she's pretty big.

In contrast, my blog is pretty small. I started my blog to interact with other runners and bloggers. I wanted to share my experiences and inspire other runners. My blog is more of a public diary. I don't have ads, and I rarely do product reviews. I have a loyal following, and I'm happy with where my blog is going. I try really hard to have meaningful content every time I post. I don't post just to post. The book club was born out of my love for running, for reading, and for learning. I've had author involvement, which is more than I dreamed of. We've had our 2nd month and so far, the book club has been well received.

But clearly, it's a blog eat blog world out there.

Naturally, I took the easy way out and was nice about it, telling her basically the more the merrier. After I responded to her, I kicked myself all day long. Hard. I kept thinking about how I could have handled it differently. What I should have said was no, or suggested an alternative. Clearly, I'm still bothered by it, because I'm writing about it. For the life of me, I don't know what I would have said, though, that would have made saying no sound ok.

Part of me thinks that there's room for all of us. The blogging community certainly has been supportive of me and my blog! But there are bloggers out there who are looking for only themselves--applying for every campaign, linking to every link up (some not linking back), and loading their blog up with ads. I'm not saying this blogger is one of them. I'd never heard of her blog and never interacted with her before. And she did ask instead of just going ahead with her own book club. All I can say is that it's been a challenge finding ways to grow my little blog.

If you've been following me for any length of time, you've probably figured out that I'm not a wimp by any means. I'm pretty good at asserting myself. I do it in my job, and at home. I'm competitive and aggressive on the race course. If you ask my husband, he'll tell you I drive like I race. I will admit that lately though, it's a little overwhelming how often I'm saying no at home. As a matter of fact, I feel like that's all I've been doing these days. Saying no. Maybe that's why I'm faltering. I just want to be nice for a change.

Saw this on a car yesterday. Maybe I need to grow a pair....Or the more acceptable alternative, a thicker skin.

Been told this too...by my son...

In the situation with the blogger, what would you have done? Am I being too sensitive here? Is it easy for you to say no? 

Because it's so easy for me to be Thinking Out Loud, I'm going to link up with Amanda from Running with Spoons! What a great link up!

Spontaneity

I've always been impulsive, a fly-by-the-seat of my pants kind of gal. They say opposites attract, and I think that really must be why my husband and I are married. He's the guy who needs to plan things in advance, and needs to really consider every aspect before making a decision. Change is really hard for him. His biggest challenge is keeping my feet on the ground. When I went back to school to become a nurse practitioner, he was not happy. "You're going to ruin the family", was his response. He knew I'd been toying with that move, but it still was a spontaneous one. Luckily, that decision worked out well for all of us. Considering that I've supported the family the last 2 winters while my husband has been out of work, I don't believe that I "ruined" the family. We may be having issues with my oldest son, but I can't blame it on becoming a nurse practitioner.

Most of the time, my spontaneous decisions have worked out well. I've been told that I have good instincts, and I believe that I do. You know my motto: Trust your gut.

Last year, I decided to jump into the Chicago marathon after winning a free entry from my employer. This was 14 weeks before the date of the marathon. Most marathon training plans are at least 16 weeks long. My husband, of course, told me I didn't have to run it. But I told him that I thought it was meant to be, and that it was time for me to redeem myself from my disastrous first attempt. Becky, my coach, was on board. I had a good training base already. My training went perfectly, and the race itself could not have gone better.

One of the best days of my life!

While I wouldn't recommend jumping into a marathon without planning ahead, it isn't unheard of. Beth, at Shut Up and Run, won a free entry to the Jerusalem marathon last month with only 6 weeks to prepare. As a veteran of several marathons and 2 Ironmans, she knew what to expect of the distance, and finished respectably. But she did have all that experience and a great running base.

Last winter, I read about a free entry to the Antarctica Marathon. Heck yeah, I entered! The contest was 6 weeks before the race. I'd been running in our own polar vortex, so I figured if I won, I'd throw a few long runs into the mix. Chicago winter? Antarctica? Besides no penguins, really, is there a difference? Believe it or not, my husband was on board with this one. Of course, he'd be all toasty and warm on the ship while I was out running in the tundra. But in a heartbeat, I'd have gone. Sadly, I didn't win. But as a completely random, unrelated consolation prize, there was this picture of me featured on Another Mother Runner. I love those ladies, and this was almost as good as going to Antarctica. Because Dimity is going to answer questions for next month's book club. It's funny how things work out. Plus this picture really shows that I could run in Antarctica if I wanted to. So there's that.

Antarctica got nothin' on me...and I'm almost famous...

I've run a few half marathons, signing up at the last minute. A year and half ago, I signed up to run a Thanksgiving half marathon the week of the event. My son needed some community service hours, and he was able to fulfill that obligation by volunteering at the race. I figured since he'd be there, I'd run it too. As it turns out, this was the fastest half I'd run in several years. My previous half was 2 months before, but I had continued to run my usual mileage and was in good shape prior to the race. My friends Karen, Michelle, and Sara were running too. It was all good. Well, except I never saw my son on the race course. I know he was there, but I ran right by him. So he says.

My beautiful friend Karen and me

For a nervous nelly like myself, the good thing about being spontaneous is that I don't agonize over a decision. When I signed up to run Chicago the first time, that was in January, and I had all that time get myself worked up into a lather. With last year's marathon, I didn't have a chance to get nervous. I jumped right into training, did the work, and was excited about my gains.

It's a little different this year. As running continues to become more popular, races are selling out faster than ever. I haven't planned the rest of my race calendar because I'm waiting to see if I got an entry to the Chicago marathon. I'm not really optimistic, since 70,000 people entered the lottery this year. Seriously! Hello, I'm a native Chicagoan. Doesn't that mean anything?

There are other options on my backup list, but I have my heart set on another Chicago marathon. Will the other options sell out while I wait for my lottery decision? I could always run Chicago as a charity runner. I could. I did that the first time. But I really hate the idea of hitting up my friends and family again. So if I don't get in, that might be a sign that I need to pick a different race. I'll let my gut tell me what to do.

So for this runner, it becomes more difficult to be spontaneous. The half I'm running in May? Sold out in March. I already signed up to run Sarasota next year, but that's because the race director let me defer. Sarasota is another race that sells out. I've never planned this far ahead, but hey, it's Florida. I want to do another half this summer, but as I wait to see what marathon falls onto my race calendar, will my options for half marathons narrow? Can I still be spontaneous? If I stick to smaller local races, yes. Seems like it's still my best bet for success. Stay tuned.

Are you a planner? Or a fly by the seat kind of gal/guy? What would you do if you were me, and didn't get in to Chicago? Charity? Or find a new race? Oh, the agony...

I'm linking up with DebRuns at Wednesday Words! Spontaneous is the word of the day. What say you?

And my ladies Diatta and Sheila at Workout Wednesday! Be sure to head over and see what the other bloggers have to say!

Taking the Long Way Home Book Club Book Review: 4:09:43 Boston Through the Eyes of the Runners by Hal Higdon

"These were moments when their lives, or the lives of all people through the world, changed. December 7, 1941: when the Japanese bombed Pearl Harbor. November 22, 1963; when Lee Harvey Oswald assassinated President John F. Kennedy. January 28, 1986: when the space shuttle Challenger carrying Teacher-in-Space Christa McAuliffe exploded. September 11, 2001: when planes crashed into the World Trade Center taking both towers down and killing 3,000 people". -from 4:09:43 Boston Through the Eyes of the Runners.

 Where were you on 4/15/2013 when the bombs went off at the finish line of the Boston Marathon?

I was at work. I remember it clearly. It was the middle of the afternoon, and I had just finished seeing a patient and came out of a room, when my medical assistant told me that there was a story that a bomb went off at a marathon. It was a Monday in April, and I didn't know of any other marathons that day except Boston. I checked the internet and saw the breaking news. I was stunned and I finished my clinic in a daze.

As time passed and we learned more, the gravity of the situation continued to hit me. I couldn't help but personalize it. When I ran Chicago for the first time, in 2011, my family, including my husband and boys, my mom and one of my sisters and her family were all at mile 26, cheering me on. What if?

What if, indeed? For the next couple of days, my Facebook feed exploded with stories and updates. Several bloggers that I follow shared their take on the events. Some of them were at the race. I became almost obsessed with the story. And I've never run Boston.

In his book, 4:09:43 Boston Through the Eyes of the Runners, veteran marathoner, coach, and author Hal Higdon culls the stories of bloggers and Facebookers, and presents those stories to tell the story of the Boston Marathon bombings. He learned about the bombings while he was at his home in Indiana, and like so many of us, watched the story explode via social media.

And as one of the runners profiled in the book, Diane DeStefano, so poignantly puts it:

"the Boston Marathon is the Holy Grail of Running. Some people spend years trying to achieve their Boston Qualifying time. Then, once you qualify, you spend months training in cold weather, paying careful attention to do the specific workouts that will help you attack the tough miles the come towards the end of the marathon".

Amby Burfoot, crossing the iconic finish line in first place many years ago

Higdon features the stories of 75 runners throughout the book. In a chapter titled Diaspora, veteran marathoner Amby Burfoot shares his reaction. Burfoot has run Boston over 20 times, winning the race in 1968. At this Boston marathon, he was running to celebrate his 45th anniversary of the victory. Running in the 3rd wave of runners, he was stopped less than a mile from the finish. His first thought?

"Who's ruining my party?"

Then, like so many of the other runners who were stopped from finishing the race, he learned why the race was over, he started feeling guilty for having those thoughts.

Higdon calls the period of time immediately after the bombings the runners' "diaspora". Diaspora was a new word for me, and basically it means, "to scatter about". The word is used to describe a large migration of people from one place to another. When the runners were told the race was over, that is exactly what happened. They began wandering, with no place to go. No one knew what was going on, said Erica Greene, who was at mile 19 when the race was stopped.

2014! Boston is back!

For me, a runner who is considered "middle of the pack", the story of the bombings hit hard. The runners affected most by the bombing were the middle of the packers, and I couldn't help but think about "what if?". Janeen Bergstrom was at mile 25.85 when the bombs went off.

"Everyone would tell me later that I finished, because I was so close, but a marathon is 26.2 miles, not 25.85 miles."

and

"Everything you do is for that moment, the moment of stepping on the mat. But the lack of accomplishment and the emptiness I feel is compounded by guilt."

There's something about crossing that finish line. I'd feel mad, and guilty, and sad all at once. I would. Because that's how we runners roll.

Overall, Higdon does an excellent job sharing the runners' stories and coordinating them along a timeline of events. As a runner, I really enjoyed hearing the runners' perspective of the events as opposed to what I read in the news. This is a quick read, and one that will stay with you long after you finish the book. The runners' stories really made this book relatable to me. Every time I cross the starting line of a race now I am so grateful for our freedom and that we can continue to enjoy events like a race. Last year, as I joyfully ran the Chicago marathon, I scanned the crowds that lined the entire 26.2 miles of the route. There was so much goodwill and happiness everywhere I looked. For the life of me, I just don't understand the thoughts of those that want to harm us, simply because we want to enjoy ourselves.

As Amby Burfoot said:

"This was not just an attack against the Boston Marathon. It was an attack against the American public and our democratic use of the streets. We use our public roadways for annual parades, protest marches, presidential inaugurations, and yes, marathons. We cannot cover our eyes and ears and pretend violent acts do not threaten our great institutions. Our institutions did not become great by following a path of timidity and cowardice. We can only hope that the Boston Marathon, though pummeled, will rise again stronger than before. "

I believe that it has!

I also did some background reading after I finished Higdon's book, reading Long Mile Home by Scott Helman and Jenna Russell. This book was less personal and more fact based than Higdon's and focused more on the actual events than the stories of the individual runners. But one of the statements that stood out to me as I read this interesting book was that in spite of the terror attacks on the race, interest and participation in running continues to grow; in fact road races are selling out at paces. Many of the bigger races have turned to a lottery system for entries. Clearly, people aren't going to let the threat of terrorism stop them from running.

One Fund at boston.com

After the bombings, the Boston Strong campaign was started as a way to raise money for the victims of the bombings. This effort raised millions of dollars, much of it through grassroots endeavors, such as selling t-shirts. I bought a few. It seems that even for non-runners, the attack on Americans, on Patriots Day, who were participating in a sporting event, struck a chord with everyone.

Jury selection. Artwork courtesy of Hal Higdon

In response to the questions I asked Hal Higdon, he also sent me a copy of an article he wrote for the Chicago Tribune, comparing the Tsarnaev brothers to Leopold and Loeb. Higdon was able to attend the jury selection for the trial of Dzhokhar Tsaranaev. And he states:

"Regardless of Judge O'Toole's instructions to prospective jurors about "presumed innocence," no one owning a "Boston Strong" T-shirt has any doubt about Tsarnaev's guilt. His capture was covered live: "Breaking News" on cable TV. Yet if the defense attorneys find even one jurist out of 12 willing to vote against the death penalty, they can match (Clarence )Darrow."

As I publish this blog post, the Boston jury found Dzhokhar Tsaranaev guilty on all 30 counts against him. The sentence has yet to be handed down. Here's what Hal had to say on his Facebook page after the verdict was announced:

"THE JURY HAS SPOKEN: Dzhokhar Tsarnaev has been found guilty of all 30 charges, 17 of which allow the death penalty. The trial now moves into its final sentencing phase during which the jurors, seven women and five men, must decide whether the convicted terrorist gets death or life in prison. That’s the tough call. We all knew going in that Tsarnaev was guilty. The defense attorneys admitted that on Day 1. Now those same attorneys will try to convince at least one of those 12 jurors to show mercy. Why? “His brother made him do it.” Sorry, I’m not buying. But could I vote death, meaning there will be endless appeals for the next dozen years all covered on CNN and the front page of the New York Times? Sure, many would like to see him hauled out into the Mojave desert and beheaded. That’s what ISIS calls justice. Eye for an eye. Do unto them what they unto us. But could you wield that sword and risk making Tsarnaev a martyr, sending him off to the terrorist version of Paradise? In this context, being forced to spend the rest of his life in prison seems the worst we could do for the man who brought so much sorrow into our lives." -Hal Higdon 

Stay tuned. And keep running.

Dzhokhar Tsarnev at the trial. Artwork courtesy of Hal Higdon

After the bombings, I read stories shared by some bloggers, and I've shared the links to those blogs below:

http://organicrunnermom.com/boston-marathon-emotional-healing
http://michellesa.typepad.com/chubsanddante/2013/04/boston-2013.html
http://devonintraining.blogspot.com/2013/04/the-most-difficult-finish-line-to.html
http://www.susanruns.com/2013/04/17/boston-2013-boston-is-for-runnersand-it-always-will-be/
http://blog.runkeeper.com/20/my-journey-to-the-boston-marathon/
https://jackandviv.wordpress.com/2013/04/17/race-report-boston-marathon-2013/
http://www.fairytalesandfitness.com/2013/04/finishing-boston-marathon-2013.html
http://devonintraining.blogspot.com/2013/05/dear-stranger-in-boston.html
http://anothermotherrunner.com/2015/04/14/undonebostonmarathon/

**********************************

What did you think? What story stood out to you the most? Where were you when you first heard about the bombings? How did you initially feel? Did the bombings change the way you feel about running road races? Is your preparation for a race any different than before? If you had the opportunity to run this iconic race, would you? Are you? Have you? Share your story! 

Be sure to link your review below! You know the rules...just link back to the original post. The badge is below. Be nice and read the other posts! Sharing is caring after all...and if you don't have a blog, just post your review in the comments. I'm really excited to hear what everyone has to say.

I chose next month's book in honor of Mother's Day. And who better to honor a running mom than the original badass mother runners, Dimity and Sarah! Their new book, Tales From Another Mother Runner is our book of the month for May. I'm hoping with fingers crossed that they'll answer questions, but if they can't, I understand. They're on a book tour after all...

Looking forward to another fun month of book clubbing! Thanks to everyone for your enthusiasm and participation.

The ego

Today, I had a really tough run. I had my last long run, 12 miles, on my half marathon training plan. Most of my runs have been fast and comfortable lately, and I didn't expect this one to be any different. I've run this distance many times, and wasn't feeling particularly nervous about it. But the universe has a way of balancing everything out, and I was schooled today in pushing myself hard. This run started out tough and never got easier. Lack of sleep and a little tummy troubles didn't help, either. My last half marathon, a month ago, was run with an average pace of 8:34 min/mile, and while I didn't expect to run this long run at that pace, I hoped for sub-9. I got that, but it was tough.

Humbling, in fact.

When I grew up, my mom always said never to get "too comfortable" with how things were going. One day you're up, and the next day, the rug comes out from under you. That can apply to the road as well. I think you have to be willing to accept your shortcomings as well as your bad days to really appreciate when things are going well. Everything does tend to even out, right?

Seinfeld "Even Steven"

You do have to keep your ego in check. Because if you push too hard, you're going to get hurt. Actually, every yoga teacher I have taken a class with has said: "Check your ego at the door." There's so much wisdom imparted at yoga class, but this is my favorite. It is such a great reminder that we're all students, and that we're always learning. Whether its at a job or on the road, we should have our minds open and willing to accept ourselves where we are at, at that point in time. Not every day is going to be good. Not every run is going to be easy. Some days, we just won't be able to hold a balance pose. Last week I was talking with a woman who hurt herself at CrossFit. She took some time off to train for a marathon, and when she went back to the gym, she started lifting weights she was lifting at her peak. Hurt her back, and she can't do anything right now. Her comment to me? "I let my ego get in the way."

A while ago, I wrote a post about finding the right coach. One of my friends reminded me in a very insightful comment that you have to be willing to put your ego aside and allow yourself to be coached. This is great advice. After this post, some people commented that they know enough to coach themselves. While I don't doubt that, an objective outsider may see something you might be missing. Let's face it, it's hard to be objective about ourselves. In working with Becky, I've been humbled many times--and it can be a little uncomfortable. When she was teaching me how to "clean" a bar (not what you're thinking), I was mortified at my lack of coordination. Truth be told, I felt stupid. But I was willing to laugh at myself--why not, she was! Eventually, I did get the mechanics of that move. By learning how to do that and other new activities, I've become stronger in the gym and faster on the road. But I had to be willing to put my ego aside.

Putting your ego aside is not easy for anyone. Especially in the world of distance running. I see this on my Facebook feed a lot. One of my favorite sayings is that we are all on our own journey, but when you are constantly seeing posts about people running faster than you or farther than you, it starts to make you question yourself. Am I a real runner? Why am I not faster? Playing the comparison game is a trap that is easy to fall into through social media, and I'm not immune to that either. I've got a few friends running ultras this year, and the race they've chosen sounds like fun. Lucky for me, they've included me in plans for training runs, and I'll go run a portion of the ultra with them. I have to remind myself that my body can't stand up to the grueling distance, and besides, I'm working on a different goal--a sub 4 marathon. Plus, I really have no desire to run farther than 26.2. Still, I can't help but feel a little tug that I should be running an ultra too. After all isn't the ultra the new marathon? I just read that somewhere.

Sigh...

The ego can get in the way of relationships too. I've heard stories about running friendships becoming too competitive, and eventually ending. Guess it's a good thing I train alone! I'd sure hate to lose a good friend because of running. Years ago, I lost a friend because of competition between our boys. Trust me, it wasn't me who was having the issue. Boy, did that one hurt.

Interestingly, I've had this issue with my sister, the one I'm so close with. She gets really uncomfortable when I talk about running, in fact, last year she pretty much told me not to talk about running at all. Because running is so important to me, it really bothered me a lot. I had to step back and think about this for a long time before I came to the realization that this wasn't about me at all. It was about my sister's ego, and how much my success at running made her feel inadequate. I don't know how things are in your family, but my sister is supercompetitive, and has to be the best at everything. Growing up, I was always the one she could best in most things, and it still plays out, even in adulthood. Since I love my sister and every other aspect of our relationship is good, I just roll with it.

In spite of the problems it can cause, the ego isn't all bad.

Today, my ego wouldn't let me quit. While I tried to keep my thoughts positive, I couldn't help but chastise myself at times for feeling so crummy. I analyzed what I had eaten the last couple of days. Sipped my Tailwind and waited for the magic to happen. Tailwind isn't a magic potion, but it gave me the energy I was lacking to push hard on today's run. Mentally, I needed this run, and I worked for every mile I ran today. I don't think that's a bad thing. I ran hard and I ran uncomfortable. My training with Becky has taught me to do that. And finished with a time I could be proud off. Miles are miles, after all. After today, I know that I'm ready to run that half no matter how I feel.

What would you have done? Would have have called it a day and stopped? Pushed through? Have you lost a friend over competition? 

I'm linking up with Tara at RunningNReading for her Weekend Update! Be sure to head over to her blog to check out all the other posts. And don't forget to link up with me for the Taking the Long Way Home book club!