async="src="/ Taking the Long Way Home: Ouch.

Wednesday, March 5, 2014

Ouch.

Remember that black hole I wrote about a few weeks ago? The one that was threatening to suck me in? Well, it's back at it again. Life just keeps lobbing balls at me. Or lemons.

Good advice!

I was doing really well after my last post. Trying to keep a positive attitude. Really pushing myself to be happy and goofy, like I normally am. And being fairly successful at staying positive, too, if I do say so myself.

A few bumps in the road, including my father-in-law being admitted to the hospital last week, didn't shake my confidence. He's fine, by the way. Even though the doctors messed up and he had to stay an extra night. Smh. Mother Nature brought us more snow and cold. Hasn't she checked her calendar? But in spite of the bad weather, in the mornings the roads have been mostly clear and I have been able to run outside. The sun has been shining.

And then this....

Last week I got my new Garmin. I bought a low end model, the Garmin Forerunner 10, because I my iPhone running apps weren't very reliable. They kept quitting midrun, and I didn't trust the splits they were giving me. The Garmin performed beautifully, and here's what I saw:


I could not have been happier. This run was done in the cold wind, following a snowstorm...typical of our winter this year, and with splits like this, I feel like I've been doing a great job training. The Garmin does not lie, right? I was so thrilled with my new Garmin! Why was I resisting owning one all these years?

In my enthusiasm, I sent the picture to my family, along with a comment about how great I felt.

My sister responded with a snarky comment about her 3 miler on the treadmill, "steep hills". 

It was then I remembered a comment she made to me a week before when I was talking about running. A big sigh, followed by "that's YOUR thing...". In other words, "I don't want to hear about it". I realized then why she sent me the snarky text. 

Hurt, I let the text comment ride until the next day when I called her. She didn't pick up, and l left a message that I thought we should talk. Later she sent me a text message, which was not nice. She didn't want to talk to me, she said, and basically stated I needed to keep my running to myself. There was also a comment about me "needing to pat myself on the back" all the time. 

Ouch.

We runners tend to talk about running ad nauseum...because we are so passionate about it. Running has the power to transform our bodies and our lives, and I could write a book on what running has done for me. My family may not understand my passion for running, but with the exception of my sister, everyone has been really supportive. When I ran the Chicago Marathon, my mom and my youngest sister and her family were there. But not this sister. It bothered me at the time, but I let it go.

After this past incident, I'm having a little harder time letting it go. Over the years, she's told me multiple times that I'm her "best friend". I've supported her through her divorce, and other trials and tribulations. I've always been there for her. That's what sisters and friends do for each other. But I'm not feeling the love back. I can analyze why she says the things she says about my running, but I don't understand the venom behind the comments.

Maybe I shouldn't have sent the picture of my Garmin. But what about the pictures she sends of her new home, her new furniture, her boys...what makes that different? 

And is what we runners are doing in our blogs and facebook, twitter and instagram considered "patting ourselves on the back"? I enjoy reading everyone's posts on Facebook and everyone's blogs. I find them motivating. I love the encouragement I get from my fellow runners and I try to reciprocate. I do try not to go overboard when I talk about running with my family and friends because I know it isn't their "thing". I try to be sensitive when it is time for me to stop talking about it..the glazed look I get usually does it for me. When people ask me about running, I always joke "don't get me started!"



But my friends understand that running is my passion. I'm not sure what to do about my sister, but I'm not going to let her comments affect the my journey. 

Keep moving forward. 

Healing my bruised ego. My broken heart.

Are your family and friends supportive of your running? How do you handle those who aren't? 


8 comments :

  1. Apparently we have the same sister. Mine told me I needed to 'get a life' when someone asked to see one of my medals at a family gathering. Running is your passion and it brings you happiness so, as your sister, she should get that and be happy for you. IMO it's a total reflection on her and whatever's going on in her life. I know it's hard but you can't let this kind of crap wear on you. Mostly people are supportive of my running, although I deliberately do not talk about it among non-runners unless asked.

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    1. I really appreciate this, Marcia! Like you, I try not to talk about it among non-runners, but family? I know it isn't about me, but man! it hurts. Moving on, though.

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  2. Don't let it weigh you down too far. My husband, who is a runner, told me my running streak was taking me away from my family and I was neglecting them. In all reality, we run the same amount of miles each week - just spaced out differently. We did talk later and what he said isn't what he meant. In essence, he just wanted me to be less tired some nights so we could have more quality time. People can say mean things but often, it isn't what it is meant to be. You have our support and go ahead, talk running as much as you want...at least to us! :)

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    1. Thanks Erica. I'm still feeling hurt, but I'm just going to move along...I'm so glad I have like minded people around me, this is a great community!

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  3. I'm sorry you are dealing with this--must be hard. I guess I have been fortunate over the years to have support from friends and family. That said, I don't know that many of them get it. I try to strike a balance by keeping my running exploits fairly quiet among the non-runners in my life and saving the run chats for my blog and my running friends. So go right ahead and chat running with us any time you want!

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    1. Thanks! If it were anyone else, I'd be less sad. Thank goodness for the running community to pull me through this! Knowing that I'm not the only one with this passion is a great comfort.

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  4. I SO *get it*, Wendy. This is YOUR journey. And whatever is happening with your sister, just know that something else is going on. You keep doing *your thing* and your sister needs to find her own way. Another thing that running has taught me is the impermanence of EVERYTHING. Nothing lasts, bad or good. This will get better. (And on the flip side, this will not be your last rough patch.) As a very wise friend told just recently "you have to go with what the day gives you. Sometimes it isn't what you want or planned for, you get what you get."

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    1. That friend of yours is wise, indeed! LOL! But in all seriousness, don't we just want everyone to feel as good as we do about running? About our other accomplishments? And isn't that what friends do for each other?

      I love your support and your friendship...and I can't wait for the next chapter in your life in Alaska. Bring it on, Tahira!

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