Friday, August 31, 2018

Runfessions Over Coffee

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It's so hard to believe that Labor Day weekend is upon us. Summer just flew by for me and what a fun summer it has been! The end of the month always means one thing to us running bloggers--the runfessional is open. Let's runfess over coffee while we're at it.

I've got a fresh pot brewing and some GLG Collagen Hydrolysate to mix in. Cocoa thinks she likes coffee too. I've got some runfessions--and since we're 'fessing over coffee, I've got some other 'fessions too!



I momfess feeling a sense of melancholy as summer is drawing to a close. Mostly because earlier this week, we dropped my youngest son off for at college for the first time. While I am so proud of him and excited for this next chapter in his life, I am going to miss him so much. I felt this way when he went to kindergarten and I found myself watching Tom and Jerry after lunch--something he and I did when he was in preschool. Now he's a freshman in college and I'm drinking my morning smoothies alone. You should start to worry about me if you catch me watching South Park reruns down in the basement...


I learned this week that you should NEVER wear a red shirt to Target. When we were in Madison getting my son settled in, we went to Target to get some last minute items. The Madison Target is probably the largest Target I've ever been in and I was having trouble finding some things. I momfess that I approached a man wearing a red shirt to help me. He threw his arms in the air and said: "I DON'T WORK HERE!". It was then that I saw his UW logo on his shirt. Clearly, I wasn't the first person to ask him for help. After that, I made sure that anyone I approached with questions was wearing a Target name badge. Because there were a lot of shoppers wearing Badger red. 



The UW-Madison campus is huge and the best way to get around is on 2 wheels. Over 25 years ago, I bought my husband a bike which he has ridden maybe 5 times. I momfess that suggested we bring that bike up to school for my son to use. My husband refused, saying that he wants to keep it in case he wants to go for a bike ride.


We aren't yet empty nesters. My oldest son is still living at home while he trains as an electrician apprentice. He turned 21 this month. I momfess that on his birthday, I took him out for his first legal beer. The bartender was all about this, making a big deal about carding him. Don't judge me. We had a rocky road through his teen years and I'm grateful to be at this place in our relationship. Here's to better times ahead! Clinks!


For you beer geeks, that's an Allagash White in my glass. I had 2....
Earlier this summer, I won a giveaway on Rachel's blog, Running on Happy, for one month of free coaching. Initially, I told her I wanted to wait until fall to use my prize so I could train for a November half marathon and a possible sub-2 finish. Since then, I've watched my paces go down the toilet. I runfess that I recently told her I don't think I am going to be able to train to achieve that goal. Rachel, for her part, thinks I can do it.

theawkwardyeti.com
I runfess that I'm not so sure how much longer I'll be able to run. At all. I've struggled with running all summer. While I can blame a lot of my struggles on the heat and humidity, RA and running are not getting along. My knees really protest with long distances. I had steroid injections in both knees earlier this summer, but the pain is returning. I've been training half-heartedly for my races this year and that's because it's so hard. I'm looking forward to some cooler temperatures to see if my body responds favorably.


Off the road, my workouts have been going well, which has balanced things out. Like any good fitness blogger, I post my workouts on social media. I know there's a fine line between sharing and boasting and I think, for the most part, I do ok with this. Not everyone agrees, apparently. This past week at a family gathering, in front of everyone, my youngest sister confronted me and said that I post "way too much"', adding that "there's something to be said for a little humility". I runfess that this comment stung way more than it should have.


What do you have to runfess? Have you ever worn a red shirt to Target and if so, how did it work out for you? How will I know when it's time to quit running? When it comes to social media posts, how much is too much? When we post our workouts, are we bragging or sharing? Do you have family members who diss your fitness posts? Any empty nesters out there? How do you handle the melancholy of saying goodbye to your grown children? 

I'm linking my Runfessions with Marcia's Healthy Slice. I'm also linking with Fairytales and Fitness and Running on Happy for the Friday Five and Coco and Deborah for the Ultimate Coffee Date. 




60 comments :

  1. Wow that was very uncaring of your sister. There's nothing wrong with being proud of ourselves. And especially with your RA struggles, I'm sure each run means a lot more. Congratulations to your son's first year of college. And very cool your oldest is training to be an electrician. Does he like it? At school, there are some teachers that generally wear khakis and polos. Whenever someone has on a red polo I am like... TARGET! :) We laugh about it though.

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    1. I wore a red shirt to Target yesterday and it happened to me! LOL

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  2. You know I have a similar sister. My opinion is that "too much" social media is in the eye of the beholder. If she doesn't want to see it, she needs to look away. Sorry running is not agreeing with you lately. It sucks and I wish there were easy answers for you. Love that mug and so does Cocoa apparently!

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    1. I'm hoping that the cooler weather will bring with it some nice runs.

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  3. I feel like if people don't want to see your posts then they dont have to follow you. I guess its a little different since its your sister. I try to keep my blog/running posts separate from personal ones and I tell my family and friends if they dont want to see tons of running pics then not to follow those accounts. That being said, I don't think there is anything wrong with the way you share your accomplishments. It's been a tough road for you and I hope the cooler weather brings some relief!

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    1. I do keep my running posts separate from my personal ones. I guess she was following both. I took care of that.

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  4. Rachel is the best, and since she has RA as well, I will bet that could be helpful. She'll understand one way or the other. Here's hoping with cooler weather running will get better.

    My guess is your sister is actually jealous. And that's her problem, not yours.

    I have been known to not want to let certain things go, even though I no longer use them. I really think I'm actually better than Mr. Judy on that score, but my guess is he'd have a different opinion!

    My parents were soooooo ready to be empty nesters. Of course all my Dad does now is complain about not seeing me . . . even when I'm there. It's a huge change in your life & it's ok to mourn that loss.

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    1. My parents are the exact opposite. We went to Door county this summer and they made their own plans! LOL

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  5. LOL on not wearing red to Target! My son is 24 now -- I'm used to ordering beer with him now. :-)
    I hope you can brushof your sister's comments. I've heard from a few friends who say my posts inspire and motivate them and that's all it takes for me to not worry about what others think.

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    1. It was interesting that on the way home from the family gathering, I had a message from a reader who told me how much my story inspires her to keep moving. Funny how the universe works, isn't it?

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  6. I, for one, don't feel your posts are boastful. The are always inspiring and your wry humor infectious.
    I'm sorry to hear about your running. You will not be surprised to hear that I am in the same boat. The difference is this time I'm ready. Perhaps for you the cool temperatures will help. It does make a difference. Wherever your journey leads you, good luck, and I'll always be along for the ride.

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    1. I'm not quitting yet, but I'm definitely slowing down. I'm never one to give up easily, so let's see what happens this fall.

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  7. I am so sad summer is ending. I am trying to be positive about fall but I love summer so much. I have worn and red t to Target, won't do that again.
    I don't think the fitness posts are bragging but my family members don't get it.

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    1. Isn't that the truth? Families are funny.

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  8. I think you're pretty humble. I think of your posts as more positive encouragement, not bragging. Plus they are offset by some of the confession-type posts when you have a bad workout. Of course, maybe I feel that way because I'm a fitness blogger who posts way too much too. :-)

    I'm going to go with positive thoughts regarding the running. Cooler weather, getting through some flare, I hope that all will lead up to pain-free running. I know it's been tough to change your goals, but even if running ends up being a walk/jog a couple times a week, that's a good thing.

    I'm so happy to see that you and your eldest are doing well. I still remember that my first comment on your blog was regarding him! I can't remember exactly what I said but I'm sure I compared it to my youngest and the challenges we had with him. He, by the way, is doing well and I love hanging out with him.

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    1. I figured you'd totally get it about my son! It's really great to see him at this stage and I pray that he'll stay out of trouble now. He got a few lucky breaks and he needs to realize truly how lucky he is!

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  9. OMG! Totally ignore ! I love your social media posts. I think you are an inspiration. I'm sorry running has been so hard this summer. I really hope the cooler air helps you and you can keep at it longer. I hope you son has a good time at school and mental note about red shirts! Have a great weekend Wendy!

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    1. Ha! Your comment cracked me up. I'm definitely moving on but ouch! Her issue, not mine.

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  10. So why do you want to sub-2? That is the question. I am sure it a pride thing. I get that. I do the same. I complain about my time and others look at me and wish they could run that fast. I'm trying to get over that and just run.

    I do hope you continue to run until you can no longer walk. I see plenty of women in their 80s in races and they always finish with a smile on their face.

    No, you do not post too much. I love following your adventures. She's just jealous.

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    1. I could have sub-2 in the spring, when I ran that fast 10 miler and I think that's still in my head. It's hard to say goodbye to fast running.

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  11. The red shirt at Target-too funny! So glad to hear that things are going so much better with your older son. As you know, it's been hard for me to let go and send both kids off to school. I have kept myself pretty busy the last few weeks w appointments and stuff. Today we leave on our cruise for Alaska so right now-what kids?? I am sure when I get back home and settle in again that's when I will really miss them.

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    1. The key to this is staying busy! And that is the plan. It's those mornings that I have alone that I have to get used to.

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  12. You hit the nail on my runfession head. I've been pondering the "how does one know when it's time to quit running" question myself. I always appreciate your honesty and humility (take that sister!).

    We will get through the youngest-at-college melancholy! Mine is coming home for the holiday weekend (what...already? LOL). CHEERS!

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    1. We're seeing Matthew this weekend too. I have to bring some stuff up there and conveniently, it's 20 minutes from the lake. So there may be some waterskiing too!

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  13. I'm so sorry to hear about what your sister said: that's mean and really not fair, even if she thinks it and believes it, to say it in front of people. I felt a bit bad the other day because I shared a picture of me doing a side plank with a friend - because I had this really grim expression - and she was all like I can't do a side plank and I had to say no, it's just yoga means I can do that, but look at my FACE. I was trying to take pics for my wrap-up blog post. I do tend to keep fitness stuff just to that one post, but that's my choice and it's not a judgement on anyone else. I love seeing people's stuff and seeing how they're achieving.

    I'm so sorry you're struggling with the running. It's so dispiriting when that happens. I know RA is a bastard, I've got a dear friend with it and she really struggles. I hope you can come to peace with a form of exercise that works for you, and that you continue to talk about it on here.

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    1. It's so weird because right now I'm feeling pretty good, compared to where I've been at in the past. But when I push myself--like I did yesterday at bootcamp, my knees let me know they are not happy.

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  14. I love your social media posts as they really inspire me to do and be more. There were some days this month when I really thought it was easier not to run, and then a post from you would pop up. If people are not similarly inspired then they should ignore the posts. That's my attitude anyway as I am sure someone somewhere wants to tell me what your sister told you! BUT I must runfess that I'm upset that my sister doesn't read my blog. I don't think I have ever voiced that.

    Your husband sounds like my husband. And I must confess that I have gotten rid of some of his stuff without telling him (I know) but after all this time he hasn't even asked for them!

    Shathiso at www.thegaboronerunner.com

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    1. I used to be upset that my family didn't read my blog. My mom used to read it, but that's my mom. My sisters never read it. In fact, my sister gets upset when I want to meet up with other bloggers on our sister trip. I kind of get that, but what's the harm in a breakfast or a run?

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  15. I say keep posting. It's obvious to us your achievements mean a lot to you.

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  16. I've accidentally worn red to Target...big mistake. Of course I've done it more than once, like a dodo.

    I bet you could keep running, even if it's shorter distances and ::whispers:: a slower pace. It just depends on if your mind is willing to morph into a different type of runner.

    Also, you sister is mean.

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    1. Yes, I do much better on shorter distances. It's a work in progress to get my brain to agree!

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  17. Okay, your sister must not read your blog (at least not often) because she would know that RA keeps you humble. I've read enough of your posts to know that a great workout for you is more than about running or crossfit or yoga - it's fighting on in spite of the frustration that RA has added to your life. Keep posting - you inspire us!

    I only post to Strava these days and my paces definitely keep me humble. My family never sees them, but I quit trying to talk about it to any of them a long time ago. I have one aunt who has run marathons, unfortunately we only see each other once a year or less, so not a lot of sharing. That's why we come here, right?

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    1. Yes, that is definitely why we come here. I don't get why our family members can't be happy for us. Or read out blogs!

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  18. I don't own many red shirts but that always terrifies me. Especially since the one near us some employees will literally wear red tshirts and just do their name tag. Not even the polo shirt anymore!

    Hopefully your body does a bit better with cooler weather. Maybe small adjustments will make for a better experience. But good for you for staying up with your fitness!

    I'm so sorry about that nasty comment your sister made. I know it's easier said than done (because she's your sister) but don't dwell on it. Most people (read: women) lash out and are nasty to each other because they are not happy with themselves. These comments are usually made when they feel insecure and feel that you are doing better than they are. Just shrug it off and keep on your journey! :)

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    1. After some self-examination, I came to the same conclusion that everyone here did. It's time to move on. Her loss.

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  19. I'm guessing your sister is not a runner? I don't think you post too much at all. I love reading your blog, its very motivating and you are very inspirational. You fight every day to continue to do what you love doing. I admire that. I do hope the cooler weather helps and you can continue on.

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    1. I hope so too! I'd like to see some of those fast paces again. Just once...

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  20. LOL at the Target incident! I never really thought about that but you're so right. I need to make sure I don't wear a red shirt there, lol.

    I think that its totally awesome that you took your son out for his first legal drink!

    I'm so sorry about the comment that your sister made :( I think that you have a great balance on your social media and I love following you. You also inspire me to get off my butt!

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    1. It was really fun sharing a couple of beers with my son!

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  21. I often wonder what my non-running friends on social media think of my running pictures? I know my blogger friends all "get it" I admit I didn't really get it at first when I started social media and didn't understand all the running selfies but for me, I like to use it as a record of my runs. Perhaps other people do to. I know you at least post creative pictures and it's not just a face selfie everyday, so your sister should be happy to see you out there being active (especially since she know you are struggling with RA). Can you tell that I am upset by this comment for you?

    Good tip on not wearing red to Target!

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    1. My non-running friends don't see my pics unless they choose to follow my page. Some of them do!

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  22. I do think that you can do it BUT you know your body best and if it's protesting loudly then it's best to listen and follow its lead.

    Humility my ass. Isn't that the whole point of Insta? So we can lift each other up and post our ridiculous workouts? I like seeing my blogger friends kicking ass and taking names at CrossFit, on runs, or going out to dinner with their significant others. POST ON, my friend!!!!

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    1. I'm with you! I get motivated by my friends. I don't get what happened at all.

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  23. I love that you took your son out for his first legal beer! And, best of luck to your youngest at college - hope he has a great year.

    I'm sorry your sister's comment was hurtful - ah the joys of family sometimes, right?! Just keep doing you - personally, I find your posts very inspiring. They remind me to keep pushing myself. I keeping my fingers crossed for you that with the cooler weather RA and running will get along better.

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    1. I was torn about taking him out--am I encouraging drinking? But heck, we've already crossed that bridge. It was really fun to share a couple beers with him.

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  24. My sister harps on me (and loves rolling her eyes) whenever I mention a "great run" or a blogging thing. Obviously, she does not run (nor does she blog), so it's a world she does not understand. That said, there is a fine line between being proud and being boastful and some people definitely do not get that LOL (and we roll our eyes at THEM) And, BTW, we took both the oldest daughter and the son out on their 21st birthdays and celebrated the occasions ;-)

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    1. I'm not sure what the issue is with my sister. It's just plain hurtful.

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  25. I think there's a fine line between sharing and bragging, but it depends on the person/situation. I don't get the drama around it through - just unfollow/hide the person if I feel they post too much
    I hope you find some relief in cooler temperatures.
    My parents let me drink at home under 21. Glad you've reached a good place with your son

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    1. (I should clarify, I don't mean that fine line with yours. I love your stuff and was glad to find you on Insta. Some people post way more and if I'm over it -- usually during the crossfit challenge where they have to share everything, I hide. It's my issue - not theirs)

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    2. I said that exact thing to my sister--she doesn't have to look at my stuff. Then I blocked her. Washed my hands of the whole situation. I don't have time for that negativity.

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  26. This must have been a difficult post for you to write. I can't imagine you not running, but that is the only 'you' I know. I do know you are a many-faceted person and athlete and if you need to leave running behind (and I don't thin you are mentally OR physically ready to do that), you will have plenty of other physical activities to keep you busy and strong (boot camp, anyone?)

    I haven't talked to my sister in five years. People ask why. She's a bitch, that's why. Sometimes you need to get past that. Not saying your sister is that bad, but let her comments roll off your back. They don't matter.

    All three of my boys are over 21 and we have a blast going out for beers. It's a weird and wonderful place. The best part is when your kids don't mind hanging out with you.

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    1. You are right. I'm not ready to leave running yet but I am definitely seeing the writing on the wall. It's been an amazing ride and I always hoped to run into old age. You never know, but I'm trying to be realistic. For now, I run!

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  27. I for one really enjoy your social media posts! So, keep them up! I hope that running is in the cards for you for a while! But when it's not I am sure you find something to fill the void! When I couldn't run after my accident I fell in love with kickboxing! To this day, it closely rivals running for me!

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    1. I'm fortunate to enjoy many activities--altho nothing quite as much as running!

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  28. Okay, let’s start with the red shirt... Yes I have worn a red shirt to Target (and I hardly ever wear red) and was approached a few times. I chose to direct them to the right aisle since I pretty much know them all. Lol
    Our kids are the same age and I took my 21 y/o out Fri night, bar hopping for her birthday. Was that wrong? (No driving)
    As for your posting, I worry about posting too much and coming across as bragging but whatever. People can think what they want. I find your posts inspiring and don’t think you post too much. Keep posting what and when you want. People can scroll on by if they don’t want to read it. :-)

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    1. I always try to keep it humble and real. The whole thing was such a blow to my ego!

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  29. That stinks about your sister's comment- she should unfollow you and then you are all set! As you said...you are a fitness blogger, but I think non-bloggers don't get always how much social promo you sort of have to do. Keep on keepin' on, I say! As for the red in Target- that made me laugh out loud! I did that only once, but it was memorable! Too funny!

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    1. I blocked her, so we are all set. No one needs that kind of negativity in their lives!

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  30. Post what you want on social media. If people don't like it, they can stop looking / stop following you. Your posts keep me motivated !

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