Friday, December 18, 2015

Runfessions for December


I can hardly believe that it's time once again for Runfessions! Marcia's taking some time off at the end of the month, so she's hosting the party a week early. I was worried I wouldn't have enough to runfess, but since living life on the edge is my MO, I had no trouble coming up with things to share. My guardian angel shakes her head once again.

A couple weeks ago, I was running along the path at the retention pond. There were a lot of walkers clogging the path there, but since it was cold, certainly no cyclists. Without giving it a second thought, I moved over to the wheeled path lane that was free of walkers to stop having to weave around them. Coming towards me were 2 ladies bike path vigilantes gesturing and waving. I had my earbuds in, so I couldn't hear them until I got closer to them. They leaned towards me and shouted at me: "You're in the wrong lane! Move over!" I nodded and smiled at them. "Thank you! Have a nice day!" And kept going in the bike lane. It reminded me of that scene from Trains, Planes, and Automobiles.... 


I have to runfess that I am SO glad that Elf on the Shelf wasn't a thing when my boys were younger. Seriously. As if we moms don't have enough stress with Christmas prep--didn't I just write about that a few days ago? The mom games are in full swing as I've been observing all the Elves up to no good posts on FB. Did you know they sell outfits for him now? Because it isn't enough just to set him up pulling pranks. Now you have to change his clothes. Although I will admit that some of the pranks I've seen are pretty funny...maybe a little disturbing...

www.mandatory.com
At my work Christmas party this past weekend, I let my freak flag fly. The party was at a bar near the hospital where I work, and instead of our usual white elephant gift exchange, the planning committee changed it up and hired a DJ. I kind of liked the gift exchange and was disappointed we weren't having it this year, but when I heard the opening riff of the Commodores' song Brickhouse, I couldn't help but move it move it. Maybe it was the beer talking. Does alcohol make you feel like a good dancer? Take a listen and tell me you don't want to get up and dance right now. Uh huh huh....


The medical assistants were all like, "oooh, Wendy!" But they joined me, and we danced the night away. I felt young, dancing with those ladies. The DJ hit all the high points. We were stunned when some of the more conservative medical staff (the doctors) joined in and let loose. Man, that was fun. I do work with some awesome, fun people. This was just the kind of boost our office needed to pull morale out of the toilet.

We whipped and we nae naed. Turned down for what. And we tootsie rolled. 
And speaking of toilets (how's that for a segue?), while out for my runs, I've been seeing a lot of porcelain thrones on the curbs. Mrs. Kravitz knows who's redoing their bathrooms. I don't know about you, but seeing all these toilets on the curb reminds me of that scene in the movie Jackass where the guy relieves himself on one of the display toilets in the hardware store. I didn't and I'm not saying I would. But could you? Would you? This is Runfessions, after all...



And speaking of crap (another great segue), the blog has recently been hit by spammers like you wouldn't believe. The majority of posts under attack are older, with one previous Runfessions post in particular getting almost daily hits. I don't understand how that is happening and I feel helpless to stop it. I've put comment moderation in for posts older than 5 days, and I apologize for having to do that. But I want to prevent comments like this from getting through:

Anonymous has left a new comment on your post 

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you have performed a fantastic job on this matter!

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They're pretty much all variations on the same theme. I used to be disgusted. Now I try to be amused. They are just so stupid. 

Got anything to runfess? Come on, you know you do...Seen any of the movies I referenced? Danced to any of the tunes?

Besides linking up with Marcia, I'm also linking up my 5 Runfessions with the Friday Five and the DC Trifecta aka Courtney, Mar, and Cynthia









57 comments :

  1. Love the segues today - you are on a roll :-) And I would probably consider going in a roadside toilet, if I had to go badly enough!! Love that you whipped, nae naed and turned down for what with all the co-workers. And, I live with the elf as you know but put almost no effort into it. I pose him and only him and he has only one outfit. Isn't that enough?

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    1. I would be the overachiever with the Elf. So I'm glad I missed that trend!

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  2. Personally I find that elf creepy. Whether he's grating snowmen or not. They played brick house at my prom just as I was walking in. It was for me. I know it. Thanks for linking up!

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  3. Elf on the Shelf creeps me the f out. But that picture is hilarious.
    But yeah, why does he gots to be alls in mah biddness?

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    1. I guess it's just one more way to guilt kids into behaving. Do you think that would work for my teenagers?

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  4. as always, you have left me laughing. That Elf totally creeps me out.....but I have to confess, I am the one who instigated the Elf game at work (and I have been going in early every day this week to "play").

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  5. I have my settings pretty tight and various spam blockers on, so I don't really see the spam anymore.

    We also don't have the elf and I'm happy about that. I'm lucky to get the gecko fed - there's no way I'd get an elf moved.

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  6. But Wendy, you truly are a good webmaster!

    Things I wish I could block from my FB feed: Hunting pictures that include dead dear and elf on the shelf pictures! Although my friend went as the Elf on the Shelf for Halloween this year and it was hilarious because he really did look like him!

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  7. There are some crazy aggressive cyclists out on our path too! As I bike and run on there I try to be a nice one but sometimes they are a little outspoken :)

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    1. Oh, we have those as well. Which is pretty funny, considering that this is a 2 mile loop!

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  8. Cyclists are so aggressive towards runners, I had one almost run me down, why can we all just happily share..... I would not use a toilet On the curb, even in desperation.

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  9. We had that same elf as a child. Looked identical. If that is the same company, wow -- they won the lottery with that marketing plan. Our oldest son does all the shenanigans and it's pretty funny what he can come up with! He and Chucky are very disturbing in that pic! Lionel Richie is from my neck of the wood. I would have so Brick Housed it with you! ...just letting it all hang out!

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  10. Cyclist can be so grumpy! It pains them to even smile at a runner. Yea, in desperation I'd use the potty on the curb. After dark, of course. Right? lol

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  11. At least you weren't driving in the bike lane! Sounds like you had a good time! Wine does bring out my inner dance diva and if I can't find a floor I am an excellent chair dancer! LOL! Enjoy!

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  12. You are so damn funny. I think we could totally be friends in real life.

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  13. No runfessions for me since I've been injured...I guess my runfession is that I haven't been running. Hoping to change that this weekend! Love funny spam comments, but my favorite is looking up search terms that people use either on your site or to get there. There are a few that are good for a belly laugh. Hope you have a great weekend, Wendy!

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    1. Well, I have plenty of funny spam comments to pick from! Where do they come up with this stuff?

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  14. Those old 5 gallon toilets are collectors items now that they can't sell new ones any longer! Maybe you could take them home and sell them on eBay? :)

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  15. Ha I secretly wished my girls weren't too old for elf on the shelf. Boy at the things those elves get into! It is just mind boggling. Thankfully I too am not stressed out to find 24 ways for my elf to move around.

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    1. I liked Kim's idea of doing it at the office. I could probably make him up to a lot of mischief there!

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  16. Your posts always brighten my day. Keep 'em coming.

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  17. Ah, the price of fame!

    I runfess that I'll have runfessions up tomorrow so that I can do friday 5 then runfessions. :) Why combine both into one post when you can spread the love?

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  18. You made me laugh out loud. Firstly the snowman, then the toilet. Thank you ! (and I got a ton of spam today, on old posts)

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    1. Ugh, the spam! I just read this one to my husband who laughed out loud as well...

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  19. You must admit that elf on the shelf prank is PRETTY FUNNY!!! I saw one pooping peppermints in the toilet. LOL

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    1. Oh, that took some ingenuity! I actually saw some really funny ones while researching for this post!

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  20. Actually my Uncle did that when he was a kid! Just walked up and went to the bathroom in a toilet display at the store. My grandmother was so embarrassed from what I heard. I think it's hilarious!

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  21. Ah, those stupid spam comments are exactly why I moderate mine. I kinda think the whole ELF on the shelf thing is odd. I don't get it at all. Maybe I have no sense of humor?

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    1. Some of them are pretty funny...I just don't want the pressure of having to come up with them.

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  22. I don't think I can do elf on the shelf. Someone pointed out that it's literally YEARS of commitments. I don't think I'm creative enough to pull that off hahahaha

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  23. The spam comments are so weird. I seem to get them randomly, although my spam blocker seems to catch most of them. And yes, I too and glad the elf on a shelf was not a thing when my boys were young. Ain't nobody got time for that. Although, apparently they do. Overachievers.

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    1. That would have been me. Just one more thing to stress about..

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  24. I kind of wish we had elf on a shelf when we were younger..lol. Although I hear co-workers talking about how they keep forgetting to move the elf each night. One mom said her kid pointed out the elf had been in the same spot for three days. Her response was "he must have a broken leg".

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  25. Get down with your bad self! Love that you let loose at the party. I've had some really odd spam comments lately, too!

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    1. Oh man, that was so much fun! I do love to dance. I'll probably be one of those old ladies who people film and post on you tube...

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  26. can i come party and dance with you, please? such fun!! sorry about the spam. that is so annoying!

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  27. hahaha" "We whipped and we nae naed. Turned down for what. And we tootsie rolled." I loved this!

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