From the Frying Pan Into the Fire

I couldn't think of a better metaphor to describe the past week. The temperatures in California were HOT. Like 100F+ hot with a blazing sun. As the saying goes, it's 'not the heat, it's the humidity,' and I found that to be true. But no matter how you look at it, 100F+ is hot, and on Wednesday, it hit 107F, a temperature I had never experienced before. The hot temperatures didn't stop us, as you'll read below, and the mornings were pleasant enough that as long as I got out before the sun was overhead, I had some really decent runs.

But...on Tuesday, we learned that my mom fell on the ice and fractured her pelvis. No head injury, thank goodness. She was hospitalized, and her dementia and my dad's anxiety proved to be a huge challenge to my sisters and me. The recommendation for post-hospital care was subacute rehab; my dad was determined to take her home. No one thought this was a good idea; getting him to understand this was a challenge I hadn't even considered, and it was formidable. It took a compromise--home health staff will be in place on Tuesday, and Mom will go to rehab in the interim. 

I took a couple of additional days off work to help my parents with the transition. I can't express how difficult this has been. I am thankful for the support of my sisters, who have agreed with my decisions for my parents. As I always do, I am leaning into fitness as much as I can. It's how I manage my stress.

Weekly Rundown

Sunday: Fluid Running

Monday: Strength training

Tuesday: hiking at Joshua Tree

Wednesday: trail running 5.5 miles

Thursday: Fluid Running

Friday: rest

Saturday: run 6.4 miles

After Saturday's movement-filled day, I was feeling a little fatigued! Even my Oura ring noted it, giving me a readiness score of 76 for Sunday. We had planned a down day to recover. I wanted a little movement, so I decided to do a Fluid running workout in my sister's pool. I packed a flotation belt, so I had no excuse. The only thing I didn't have was a tether, which I normally use to keep me in place. Well. I learned that the Fluid Running workouts are much more challenging when you are not tethered in place, because part of the challenge is staying in one place and finding the right position to help you do so. So let's just say I got a really good workout. And under the beautiful California sunshine? I couldn't ask for more.

On Monday, my sister and I returned to her gym for another strength training class. I have no complaints. This guy is great. We did a push-pull workout.

Warm up: 

low/dolphin plank to pike 8 reps

low lunge to overhead stretch 10 per side

Banded pass throughs 8

Session 1 x4 rounds:

Kickstand RDLs (30#dumbbells) 8 per leg

Dumbbell bench press (30#) alternating 6 per arm

Seated front raise 10# x 10 reps

Session 2 x3 rounds

Side plank with leg lift 10 reps per side

Bent over fly (10#) 12 reps

Session 4 x3 rounds

Tall kneel halo press with med ball 20# 10 reps

Bridge march 10 per leg

V-up complex (single, single, double) 6 reps

I was up before the sun and out the door for my mountain trail run. This time, I ran down along the reservoir for 2 miles before stepping onto the mountain trail, running the trail in reverse from last week. I love doing that, because it's like a completely different run! It was 78F when I started, but with 6% humidity, it felt fine. Once the sun came up, it warmed up in a hurry. This was another strong run!

I had planned for one last trail run before I left on Wednesday. When I woke up, I decided instead to do one last Fluid Running sesh in my sister's pool. 

But oh did I need Saturday's run! It was fast, and it was furious; I felt ready to tackle the day ahead--my mom was being transferred from the hospital to the rehab facility.

Off the Road...

On Tuesday, we drove to Joshua Tree in the hopes of finding cooler weather and some desert wildflowers. My sister insisted on stopping to see the Cholla Cactus garden, which is quite amazing. The parking lot was closed, so we pulled over to the side of the road to explore. As we walked around admiring the cacti, I suddenly felt a searing pain in my ankle. AHHHH! A tiny cholla cactus had affixed itself to my ankle, poking me with about 30 barbs. My brother-in-law pulled it off, but my ankle continued to burn. No sooner did I take a few steps did another tiny cholla affixed itself to my shoe. When we got back to the car, my shoe was covered with needles and barbs. I put the shoes in the back of the car and wore my sandals for the rest of the drive, which was thankfully uneventful. We continued to laugh about this the rest of the day, tho!

I returned home Thursday night, and early Friday morning, I was on the road to the hospital to see my mom. My dad was already there, and they were both happy to see me as I walked into the room.  But this was the beginning of what was one of the most difficult days of my life. As soon as I arrived, my dad dug in deep, insisting he was taking my mom home from the hospital. As a medical professional, I deal with difficult people all the time (hello, antivaxers!). But they've got nothing on my dad. Not understanding how the medical system works and why he can't just take my mom home and have caregivers magically appear...and believe me, I tried my best. I told him it wasn't safe. I told him that it would be me doing all the care, and this was not a responsibility I wanted to bear. If anything went wrong...if mom fell while I was transferring her to the bathroom and back. I shouldn't have to do this to please my dad.

Because at this point, I realized it wasn't about my mom. It was about my dad. I hesitate to share this here, but it is what it is.

The hospitalist understood. She left the room when my dad and I started arguing. The nurse tried. But it was a discharge planner who forced him to back off. He made it clear he was not happy. I had to apologize for him. 

Did I mention I am my parents' medical power of attorney? Can I advise all of you to have this agreement in place before you need it? I could have overruled his decision; I chose not to. Thankfully, those angels in the hospital rose to the occasion.

With the help of a geriatric care manager, a person I highly recommend you have in place when you realize your parents are starting to decline, we were able to confirm full staffing for Tuesday. In the meantime, my mom would go to rehab for 3 nights. Not optimal, but this was a compromise that calmed my dad down. For rehab, we settled on a facility that was highly rated but much farther from my parents' home than the one the hospital recommended. I reminded him that quality outweighs proximity. 

There have been the nightly phone calls from the hospital,  my mom crying and begging my dad or me to take her home. The pain of realizing that her dementia is much worse than we knew. Watching my very impatient father struggle with rules and restrictions, and being the recipient of his frustration. Having to be the adult in the room. 

My mom--in pain or is it anxiety? Getting to the rehab facility and realizing that her meds wouldn't arrive until sometime in the middle of the night. Getting a phone call from my dad because my mom fell apart after I left for the day.

I've learned that there are angels in healthcare--but that you need to speak their language. I called the hospital to ask the hospitalist to please call my mom's pain meds into Walgreens so we wouldn't have to wait for that late night delivery. Charge nurse: angel. Hospitalist: angel. The rehab facility RN called me in the middle of this to let me know she had the anxiety medicine in stock and asked if she should give it early. To which I said yes. Another angel. 

I'm closing this post with a few photos of the beautiful sunsets I witnessed from my sister's pool. Each is a little different. A good reminder that tomorrow always comes, and with that, the hope of a better day.

How was your week? Any spring break plans? What's your favorite way to deal with stress? 

I'm linking up with Deborah and Kim for the Weekly Rundown.