async="src="/ Taking the Long Way Home: running humor
Showing posts with label running humor. Show all posts
Showing posts with label running humor. Show all posts

Friday, September 8, 2017

5 Juicy Tales from the Trails

I know, I know...today's Friday 5 topic is post-race treats. I'm sort of going along with the theme, but the treats I'm going to talk about are of a different kind. I'm talking juicy sights seen on the run--you know, the kind of things you see that make you go hmmm. Drama. Soap opera material. Hear me when I say that running, particularly long solo running, can be kind of boring. The mind can wander. The eyes take in the surroundings. The runner sees things that can't go unseen and the wheels of the mind begin to spin. A story unfolds. At least for this runner, it does.

Does this happen to you? I don't mind running alone because I'm able to entertain myself with the things I observe while out on the trails. So instead of talking food, I'm going to share 5 stories about interesting things I've seen while out on the run. Sort of "sole food", if you will.



Friday, October 28, 2016

Runfessions: October Edition

October is winding down and that means only one thing...it's time to head into the Runfessional again! This is my favorite time of the month because I get to share all my indiscretions and wipe the slate clean for another month. Marcia hosts this fun link up and there are a lot of juicy 'fessions being shared. You don't want to miss out...

Taking the Long Way Home

Friday, June 24, 2016

Runfessions: June Edition

I cannot believe that it is already time for my June Runfessions. But isn't that how it is with summer? It just goes too fast! Anyways, if you haven't runfessed before, let me tell you that it is the best feeling in the world. Runfessions, hosted by Marcia's Healthy Slice, is that once a month opportunity to get everything off your chest. No judgements. Pull up a seat. We're all here for you. It feels good.

So what am I runfessing this month?

Forearm stand fail!
This week I finally got up into forearm stand unassisted. I was so excited! Between Becky's training and Marcia's pushup/plank challenges, I'm getting stronger and I love it. But I runfess that it took me 4 attempts to do the pose and once I finally got up I held the pose for what felt like a minute but was actually about 2-3 seconds. As you can see by the title photo above, I had a few tumbles too. Glad I was the only one in the park that morning!

Forearm stand success!
About 2 months ago, the check engine light came on in my car. My neighbor, who is a mechanic, checked my car and told me that I needed a new catalytic converter. He said it would be under warranty and I should take it to the dealer. Easy peasy, right? Wrong... Long story short, 2 visits and about 6 hours of my life that I will never get back and my car isn't fixed. Those appointments were to "diagnose" the problem. The story now is that the part is "backordered". I'll spare you the details of the rigamarole I went through to get to this point. I runfess that I am going to keep my car until it dies. Whether it's for a repair or to buy a new car, I think there is nothing more painful that walking into a car dealership.


I runfess that for my most recent giveaway, I was so relieved that the winner was a runner. It seems that every time I host a giveaway, there are certain folks that always enter. When I chase their links, it seems that all they do is enter giveaways. What do they do with the prizes? Sell them on ebay? It makes me mad. But I can write about it today because I'm pretty sure that they aren't reading this post! After all, I'm not giving anything away. Oh and by the way, if you are commenting on a post for a giveaway entry, take the time to read the post to see what is actually being given away. I had multiple people comment on how much they couldn't wait to win the "compression socks" when in fact I was giving away compression pants.

Trolls...
I runfess that yes, I've succumbed to Facebook's lure to "boost" a post. I've made no secret of the fact that the blog book club posts get little to no traffic on social media. I have several loyal book club members and I am so grateful for them! Recently I've had 2 authors of excellent running related books reach out to me. I want to give them a big boost! But how can I grow the book club if my posts get no views? So I paid to promote the book club. It was truly amazing how $10 gave my book club post over 2000 views. And brought a whole bunch of new readers to the blog and to my Facebook page. I'll do it again.


Last week, I saw a patient whose mother is running the Chicago marathon for the first time. She asked me a lot of questions. Talking with her made me feel a little sad that I'm not running it this year. But I runfess that if someone offered me an entry to run, I'd do it. But that's all fantasy. In reality, this week I made the decision not to run the Rock 'N Roll Chicago Half Marathon. My foot is really bothering me. I'm going to bonus runfess that I am really tired of having plantar fasciitis. That's the only whine I'll do but I had to put it out there. No advice please. Just needed to get it off my chest. I'm going to keep the mileage low and head back to the pool.

Damn straight...
What do you have to runfess? Any bonus (aka whinefessions)? 

I'm linking up with Marcia's Runfessions!












I'm also linking up with Courtney, Mar, and Cynthia for the Friday Five! Five runfessions, right?

Wednesday, June 15, 2016

Sh** or Get Off of the Portapotty

Oh no.

You're the runner who arrives late to the race. The corrals are getting ready to close and ignoring the call of nature, you squeeze into whatever corral is open. Even if it's not the one you are assigned to.

Maybe you signed up at the last minute for the race. Got in under the wire. Picked up your bib on race morning. You're feeling the pressure, trying to get ready to run the race.

Or maybe you signed up for the race that morning.

You get in line for the portapotties. All the lines around you are moving forward except for yours. And it's last call for the start.

What to do? Do you ignore the thunder from down under? Rolling the dice and risking a code brown on the race course? Or do you heed the warning signs and risk missing the start of the race?


Sorry for the crude title to this post. But have you ever done this? I think most of you know what I'm talking about here.

There has to be nothing more panic-inducing for a runner than not being able to take care of business prior to a race. Can't get out the door in time? Stuck in traffic? Late to a race?

Imodium, anyone? It doesn't always work.

It might surprise a lot of you that in general, I'm somewhat of a procrastinator. As type A as I can be, I'm not great about planning ahead. I often sign up last minute for a race. I've run a lot of races but I still can't get it together on race morning.

I put the "pro" in procrastination.

Even though I may be a procrastinator I am good at prioritizing. One of my priorities is making sure that I don't have any unexpected surprises along the race course.

Sh** happens. Especially to long distance runners. No one wants to talk about it. It's one of those unpleasantries we have to deal with. And if it hasn't happened to you, you've run up behind a runner who has.


Don't you wonder what the elites do about this? Does Shalane have potty problems?

Even though I may wait until the last minute to sign up for a race, I make sure I give myself plenty of prep time on race morning to make sure--ahem--that there are no unexpected surprises. Which includes getting to the race with plenty of time to spare. There have been a few races that I've gotten to the start late. It's not a good feeling to cross the start line with unfinished business rumbling in your tummy.


Pretty sure you catch my drift. Well, actually, I hope you don't. Ahem.

While I can't control everything, I do the best I can by:

The week before a race: My diet is bland. Boring. No salads. Nothing green. No corn. No beef. Lots of cheese, chicken, bread, and low fiber foods. Foods that are easy to digest. My family complains.

The night before a race: Thin crust cheese pizza. A glass or 2 of wine. Tried and true. I had a friend who had shrimp scampi the night before a race. Garlic and butter were not a recipe for success. I also review the race course and check out the location of the aid stations. Knowledge is power.

The morning of the race: Coffee for motility and energy. Cereal for a blood sugar boost. Orange juice and vitamins. A few trips to the bathroom before I leave the house with plenty of time to spare. I make sure to have extra wipes in my waist pack. Just in case.


Before the race: While in line for the portapotty, I sip on my secret weapon. I take 8-12 ounces of Tailwind Nutrition to keep my blood sugar up and to hydrate. After using the portapotty, I get back in line again for insurance.

During the race: I take frequent sips of Tailwind. I try to time my sips with every song on my playlist, which usually turns out to be about every 4 minutes or so. The goal is 24 ounces of Tailwind every hour.

This plan of action has worked really well for me the last couple of years. Sometimes it's a little warm and I need to drink extra water at the aid stations. Sometimes it's a little cool and I have to stop to pee. One time I left my Tailwind bottle in the car and you can bet that I sprinted back to grab it. With no time to spare to start the race, I even gave up one of my prized portapotty trips.

No matter what fueling plan you have, make sure you test it out before you race. My final advice here is "nothing new on race day." Unless you are a gambler.

All in the name of success. All with a little planning ahead.

Are you a procrastinator? How do you plan for the unexpected on race morning? Any horror stories to share? What fuel works for you?

Have you entered my giveaway? Check out the featured post on the sidebar and enter to win a pair of SKINS DNAmic compression gear!

I'm linking up with DebRuns for Wednesday Word. Today's word is procrastination. Of course, I'm writing this post at the last minute....











I'm also linking up with the ladies of Coaches' Corner! Debbie, Lora, Rachel, and Susie all have great info for all of us!












And Wild Workout Wednesday! Annmarie, Nicole, Jen, and Michelle are the hosts!