Except that I wouldn't want anyone else to claim this "prize".
I've been writing more about running with rheumatoid arthritis than I ever intended. Immediately after my diagnosis, I wrote that I didn't want to be known as "the arthritis runner". I still don't. But the hard truth is that RA is affecting me more than I ever thought it would. Just when I think I'm feeling better and getting on top of my symptoms, RA is there to remind me that "you're not the boss of me".
Humbling. And somewhat distressing.
The truth is that for this runner who has always been in control of her health, I don't have a lot of control over what is happening inside my body. I like to think that I'd be so much worse off if I hadn't been in such good physical shape at the time of my diagnosis. I haven't missed a run, a yoga class, or a CrossFit session since my initial diagnosis. The irony of that wasn't lost on me this week when on Thursday, the day after I got my methotrexate and Humira injections, I felt as if I had been hit by a truck. If it isn't the disease, it's the treatment making me feel crummy.
When I got up in the morning after receiving my meds, I felt somewhat nauseous and a whole lot of tired. My low back hurt. It was like a hangover, only I didn't have the funny stories from the night before to share. It would have been so easy to just stay in bed. But being the stubborn runner that I am, I laced up my running shoes and headed out for a 6 mile run. After all, it was "on the plan".
The run was hard. I won't sugar coat it. I had the thought of just giving up and walking home. But I was able to run and push through the run, and even at a pretty decent pace. I needed a picture for my blog post, so I stopped and took some selfies. I even tried some jumping poses, which always put a smile on my face!
|I look like I'm blasting off here!|
By evening, I was feeling better. I made dinner for my family and enjoyed some wine. Hair of the dog?
The rest of the week was uneventful. I made it to both yoga classes this week. Both teachers are taking us through some pretty meaningful practices. While the classes are physically challenging, I feel full and content when I leave.
|Chair pose with Cocoa|
|Twisted high lunge in the wind|
|Sunshine on my shoulder makes me happy....|
Interestingly, I had a huge ingredient find at TJ Maxx of all places. I went there this week, looking for running clothes as a way to perk myself up. While I didn't find running clothes, I scored big time in the nutritional department. Since when does TJM stock up on obscure nutritional supplements?
You just never know what you'll find there, do you? And spoiler alert, there will be a smoothie post coming in the near future....
|Some of my favorite quotes.|
I'm sorry this post is such a downer. As much as I try to put a positive spin on things, this week was really tough. I'd love to ignore RA, to say that it isn't affecting me. I'm still getting my runs in and I'm still running at pre-RA paces. But I'd be lying if I didn't say that having RA is messing with me, mentally. My old friend, self-doubt, has returned to reside in my head. I've got a 10 mile race on Saturday, and that is going to be a good test of my confidence and my endurance. I'm really grateful for all my years and experience on the road. I can't imagine where I'd be, physically or mentally, without it. Before this, I didn't consider myself a mentally tough runner, but now I know that I am. I am determined to win this battle. Even if RA has different plans.
I can and I will.
How was your week? Any good finds at TJMaxx lately? Did you know there's an Instagram feed called "Ross finds"? Do you ever find anything at Ross? Tell me what you do to dig deep during a tough run or a tough life situation.
I'm linking this post up with Holly and Tricia for the Weekly Wrap as well as Angela and Ilka for the Sunday Fitness and Food Linkup!