I am....

This week in yoga class, the instructor started by talking about labels. She asked all of us to remove the labels that others have given us as well as the labels we give ourselves. She introduced a Sanskrit mantra: "so hum", which loosely translated into English means "I am". We did some pranayama (breathing), using the mantra "so hum".

You know I love a good mantra and "so hum", or I am, is as good a mantra as they come. Repetitive use of a mantra helps quiet the mind by giving the user a focus. The mantra "so hum" has a much deeper meaning, but for the purposes of this class and this post, I chose to focus on the "I am", letting go of negative labels and focusing on seeing myself in a positive light.

I am _________.

My mind wandered, as it often does during quiet meditation. While I breathed and so hummed to myself, I thought about how I see myself and how others see me. I could think of a few not so flattering ways people might see me as well as some not so positive ways I view myself. Taking a more positive viewpoint, I so hummed strength.

I would say that I see myself as strong. I bet most people would say that is how they see me too.

I am strong.

If several months ago, you had asked me to fill in the blank: "I am _____", I don't think strong is the word I would have chosen. Since my diagnosis with RA in December, I've found an inner strength and a resolve I never knew I possessed. Over the past couple of years, through multiple marathon training cycles, I've worked on mental toughness. That training has paid off not only on the road but more recently through my RA journey. I have not missed a run since my initial diagnosis. There have been days that I didn't feel like running, but I have pushed myself out the door and got it done.

This past week's runs went really well. My pacing continues to be good. Sunday's long run of 10 miles presented some challenges for me--while I've been feeling well this week, I'm having a little knee and hip achiness which I attribute to RA. I was also feeling a little fatigued and less than motivated to run. I wanted to work on pacing this run around 9-9:15m/m. I packed up a bottle of Tailwind and drank some before I headed out the door. The sky was cloudy and the wind was pretty brisk when I headed out. At mile 2, I sipped my Tailwind and I realized that I mixed it incorrectly. Instead of 2 scoops, I only put in one. Would I have enough calories to power through this run? Ayyyy! You know how that messed with my head!

Long story short, I needn't have worried. I finished 10.4 miles in 1:33:05, which comes out to 8:58 per mile. I stopped once for a picture and once for a pit stop. I needed this one and I got it.

This was actually from Tuesday's speedy 5 miler, although I felt this way again after Sunday's 10 miler!

I am strong.

This week, Becky and I wrapped up my semi-annual strength cycle. I met all the goals she set for me. A few weeks ago, Becky told me how pleased she was with my progress, sharing that she wasn't sure how I would do with the goals she set for me in light of my diagnosis and recent flare. I was determined not to let my coach or myself down.

I mastered the cleans--both the power clean and the squat clean (and got the terminology right!). This is the squat clean, or "clean".

70#

I PR'd my deadlifts.

She put on the red plates. Red is my favorite color! Red is the color of power.
That made me even more determined!
180#

I PR'd my back squats.

The green plates.
130#

I rang the PR bell!

I am strong.

Fill in the blank: I am____________. How do you see yourself?

I'm linking up with Holly and Tricia for the Weekly Wrap as well as Angela and Ilka for the Sunday Food and Fitness Linkup!