Coming Down from that Post-Race High

After a great race, how long does it take for that post-race high to wear off? If you had nothing else going on in your life, you could ride the wave for a long time, I'd think. Even though it was over a year ago, I still get all warm and fuzzy when I talk about Big Sur. But my Big Sur post-race high got a big buzz kill merely one week after we arrived home when my youngest son broke his leg in a traumatic rugby tackle. Life has a way of evening the score, doesn't it?

Speaking of buzz kills, it's been 5 months since my diagnosis with rheumatoid arthritis. Last weekend's Door County Half Marathon with Holly gave me a much-needed boost. Even though RA is affecting me enough that I had to pull the plug on my planned June marathon, I was pleased that I was able to finish a half marathon and a hilly one at that. I'm still a runner! I can do this! My runner's ego was feeling good.

Towards the middle of the week, RA decided to remind me that it is indeed the boss of me. I started having a little bit more hand and ankle swelling and fatigue. In true Wendy fashion, I ignored it. I talked with my director about going back to work in a week or so, and she told me to make sure I'm ready to come back. She made a comment about me not "trying to muscle through this". That struck a nerve. Is that what I do? Is it the runner in me that makes me push through adversity off the road too?

As the week went on and reality settled back in, my post-race high started to melt away and so did my determination to do it all.

I really can't complain about my recovery from last weekend's half. I had some good runs this week. Using the 4:1 run/walk intervals, I'm running about 9:25m/m average pace. I was starting to consider either using longer intervals or trying to skip them altogether. However, Saturday's run was pretty humbling and made me rethink that strategy. Saturday morning was warm and sunny, so I drove to Payton's hill with a plan to loop into the limestone path. Initially, my pacing was good but on the way back the wind started to pick up and I began to struggle. I "muscled through" my intervals but when I got to Payton's hill, I could only make it about 1/3 of the way up before I had to stop. This made me sad. The last time I ran there was about 2 months ago and I ran all the way to the top without stopping. On Saturday, after I walked to the top, I ran down to the parking lot. A couple of my friends were there walking. When they asked me how I was doing, I started to cry. Yes, I know I'm lucky I'm still running. But I'm mourning the loss of my endurance. It feels like disappeared so quickly. Will it ever come back? Or is this the new normal? Will I learn to accept it?

Such a pretty day for the trails! This was before I ran out of gas.

I also struggled a little bit on Thursday when I worked out with Becky. She had me do lunges holding a kettlebell above my chest and I had to stop for breath after every lap. The resistance band walks with slam balls also gassed me. Was it RA or just a hard workout? Steph though it was an unusually tough session too. By contrast, the squats I did with chains on the bar felt easy.

Thankfully, there were a lot of good things this week. Life always balances out. The high school boys' gymnastics team made it to state for only the 2d time since 1980. There were 8 schools at the meet. They didn't do so well compared to the other schools but just getting there is an amazing accomplishment. Especially when you consider that there were no kids on their team trained through club gymnastics prior to high school. Seeing the boys support each other was so inspiring. It was just a great experience for everyone.

This was the pre-meet send-off. That handsome guy on the lower left is my son.

The other good piece of news was that my oldest son was accepted as an apprentice into the electricians' union (IBEW). The competition for spots is very tough--much like applying to college! He has been working as a trainee, which we hoped would help him and it did. He starts the 5 year apprenticeship training program May 30. I feel such a sense of pride and relief that he has set himself on the right path. I couldn't ask for a better Mother's Day gift.

Speaking of Mother's Day, I passed on a planned bike ride for a run. It was a beautiful, sunny morning and I wanted to run. That run was my gift to me. No goals, no pacing, just me and the path. I ran the bike path. I stopped on the way home to play with forearm stand. It's been a while since I did that and while I didn't hold it for long, it felt good to kick my legs up!

Even though it's tough to feel that post-race high slip away, it's nice how life balances things out. I always have to remind myself that even when times are tough, something good is around the corner. Do you feel this way?

Do you struggle with the post-race high/letdown? How do you manage your feelings?

I'm linking this post with Holly and Tricia for the Weekly Wrap!