Fighting the Good Fight

For those of us who work in healthcare, especially those of us who are working with patients, things have never been so bad as they've been the past couple of weeks. I don't talk much about work here on the blog, but I don't think I've ever felt as burned out and run down as I have lately. This current surge is affecting children more than we've seen with any other strain of Covid.  I'm testing multiple patients throughout the day and the large majority of them are testing positive. Combine that with the mental health crisis we are seeing in pediatrics and yeah, it makes for a tough day. 

The good news is that at least here in the Chicago area, the numbers of Covid cases are starting to level off. My hope is that this variant continues on its fast and furious pattern, burning itself out soon. Fortunately, none of the kids I've seen are very sick. I wear my N95 mask all day with the hope of not getting sick. 

It's increasingly hard to motivate myself to go to work. Making sure that I get in a run or a workout before my day begins has continued to keep me grounded. I also have tried some meditation through the Happify app and that simple act of breathing and centering helps to keep my anxiety down. I'm certainly not ready to leave my job, but I am ready for things to normalize somewhat. 

How Low Will You Go?

When you live in the northern part of the US, you get winter. This week, we had arctic-style temperatures and yeah, it was cold. On Thursday, I was working out with SJ when a fellow athlete walked in and asked, "why do we live here?" 

I get it. I'm not a fan of the cold either. But I do like the snow and when you live here, you have to make the best of it. I grew up in a rural area of Illinois and we played outside all winter long, sledding, ice skating, and snowmobiling. I was an avid downhill skier, although the hills we have for skiing would be laughable to those of you who live out west. 

I've learned to dress for the cold so that I can get my miles done outside. As long as the wind isn't blowing, I can tolerate just about any temperature. But every once in a while, I have to take my runs to the treadmill. It happened once this week. You know it's cold when Cocoa won't stay out for long. 

I ask you this:

Another Idiot Runner

Who's an idiot? Apparently, me...and a few other runners I saw on Wednesday's snowy, muddy, slushy trail run. I was crossing the parking lot, deciding between calling it quits and continuing on for a couple more miles. A group of 4 runners I had seen earlier on the trails was stripping down in the sunshine and preparing to leave, when one of them called out to me. "Another idiot runner!" I stopped and he laughed, gesturing to his running companions. "All of us," he said, laughing. 

I don't know if running the trails in the snow and slop constitutes a diagnosis of idiocy, but I laughed and continued on, telling the group I had been planning to stop but challenge accepted. I mean, how could I stop after that backhanded compliment? I ended up going 2 more miles before returning to my car.

Wednesday's sloppy trail run

'Tis the Season to Keep Moving

Just because it's the busy holiday season doesn't mean I put my workouts on the back burner! Au contraire, my friends. If anything, I'll cut back on holiday prep to squeeze my workouts in. This year feels more stressful than usual to me. Between the chronic stress of the pandemic and the explosion of Covid cases in the past couple of weeks, I need to move my body more than ever! Thank goodness for it all. 

Friday's foggy run

2021 Year in Review: Finding My STRONG

When I chose the word STRONG as my word for 2021, I clearly had no idea how deep I was going to have to dig to find my strong. At the time, I already realized that 2021 was going to be challenging. I think that after 2020, we were all crazy optimists and thought things were going to be better. We were so full of hope for the new year. Of course, nothing magical happened with the turn of the calendar. It never does. I know that and you know that. But it never hurts to hope, right?

The year kicked off with that turmoil in Washington D.C. and I started off the year battling anxiety and despair. But instead of succumbing to my feelings, I acknowledged them and vowed to "find my strong". At times, it felt as if the universe was out to test me on this declaration! I had a lot of personal struggles this year, besides that battle with depression and anxiety. There were some significant injuries--the tendon tear in my wrist, SJ joint dysfunction, and the broken ankle and foot. I didn't figure on starting the year with an injury bingo card!

I already reviewed my year of bling, so I'm not going to talk about races in this post. Instead, I'm going to use the outline of my original word of the year post from last January to evaluate how I did on my journey to find my strong. Did I find it?

Grand Tetons National Park

At Least the Buckthorn Was Happy to See Me

 

12 Things I Learned From My Worst Race

This is an updated version of a post published previously. With so many marathons taking place this fall and everyone training for them, I thought republishing this post would be helpful!

I can say without hesitation that my worst race ever was my first Chicago Marathon. I ran that race in 2011. That first marathon was SO BAD that I was ashamed to even tell anyone that I ran it. I was so disappointed in myself that I didn't feel like a real marathoner after I finished, even though I have the medal to prove that I crossed the finish line.

It took me 3 years to get up the courage to line up again and run the race I knew I had in me. I've run 3 marathons and many more half marathons since, but I still draw on my experience from that particular race to drive me through my training and races. In addition, the mental toughness I've developed since then has helped me push through my battle with RA, which is like an ultramarathon that won't quit. 

Since a lot of runners are gearing up to start training for fall marathons, I wanted to share some of the wisdom and experience I gained from that ill-fated marathon and my races since then. 

Dementia set in early on!

I'm Broken

The week started off really well with a long run on a beautiful day in the forest preserve. I was eagerly anticipating my upcoming Saturday trail race in Devil's Lake State Park. It's a race I've wanted to run for several years. In this strange year that is 2021, registration just opened up about a month ago. I decided on the 10k distance as a way to check out the race and the trails, which are notoriously hilly. If it went well, I planned on doing the half marathon next year. Heck, I even had a blank recap post waiting in my draft folder. 

You know what they say about making plans, right? 

Once again, all my plans are on hold. Is the universe sending me a message? Or does someone have a Wendy voodoo doll? If so, please remove all the pins because...

Getting Wet

Maybe it was the strawberry moon--did you see it?--but things kind of flip-flopped this week. We got a ton of rain--the drought is over! Everything is green again, but yep, the mosquitoes and biting flies have come to life in the woods. My insect repellent doesn't seem to be holding up to the challenge.

On the plus side, my wrist responded well to the steroid injection that I received last week. I am so grateful for that! While I know that my wrist isn't healed, it's been interesting to see what I can do without pain. I wear the brace most of the time for comfort but have stopped wearing it when I run and work out. Oh...and I tested it out behind the boat this weekend!

Monday's rainy run

Sort of Sidelined

A few months ago, I developed pain and swelling at the base of my right thumb and wrist. I mentioned it to my rheumatologist, who performed an ultrasound and didn't find anything amiss. She referred me to a hand specialist, 'the guy' that she would go to. At the time, the pain wasn't terrible and it wasn't preventing me from doing anything except handstands, so I dragged my feet on scheduling an appointment. 

Out of the blue this week on Monday, I felt a sharp pain in my wrist. It felt like a rubber band snapped inside. I don't remember doing anything out of the ordinary, but maybe that Kettlebell Circus WOD on Monday morning pushed the already angry tendon over the edge? After a restless night, I woke up on Tuesday in a lot of pain. I slathered my wrist in my CBD salve, wrapped it up tightly, took some ibuprofen, and went to work. Later that morning, still feeling pain, I finally broke down and scheduled with the specialist. After an x-ray and an exam, he told me that he was putting me in a splint and that he wanted me to see 'the guy', an imaging specialist who would perform a musculoskeletal ultrasound on my wrist. He said I could still work out but nothing involving the wrist. And that includes waterskiing.

Welp. I didn't cry, but I sure wasn't happy. While I don't have a firm diagnosis, he thinks it's the flexor carpi radialis tendon--tendinopathy or a partial rupture. I'll know more after my ultrasound next week. Hoping for the best case scenario.

Go big or go home, I say. Although, I won't lie...I'm pretty bummed out about this injury. You don't realize how much you use your hand until you can't. I'm glad I can still run though. Can I just say how weird it is to be a runner with an upper body injury? 

Are You Ready for Summer? and I Tried it! Odlo Summer Running Gear

Disclaimer: I received gear from Odlo in exchange for my unbiased review. This post also contains an affiliate link.

After an underwhelming Memorial Day weekend--cool and breezy--as the week went on, Mother Nature turned up the thermostat! The heat is on--is it ever! and it looks like it's here to stay.  Time to adapt and adjust the training plan, I guess!

Sunday's trail run was steamy!

A Lot to Unpack!

Life got busy and I missed last week's rundown. Again. But it was worth it. For the first time in almost 2 years, I took a trip to the south to visit my friend and former Weekly Wrap cohost, Holly. In spite of a few glitches in my travels (I'll share that on Friday's Coffee Talk), once I got there, we picked up right where we left off. It was a fun trip and as always, too short! I'm still riding high and grateful to Holly and her husband for their hospitality. 

Meanwhile, life goes on as usual. There was running and strength training; this week, after several years  of working towards it, I finally attained my goal of a strict pull-up! Weather-wise, we went from summer to winter and back to summer again. 

I have a lot to unpack here; I'm going to try to hit the highlights of my past 2 weeks and keep you from glazing over. If you want to see more details, check out my Instagram!

Giant pinecones in Alabama!

Smarter, Not Harder

I don't know if it's the cooler weather or allergies or what it is, but on Thursday this week, I was commenting to Sammy Jo about how long it has taken me to recover from that race I ran a few weeks ago. I'm definitely not bouncing back as quickly from a hard effort like I used to, that is for sure. Even though this week I felt really good on Wednesday's trail run, when I got home from work in the evening, I had dinner and I was asleep by 9 pm. 

I guess it's like the old cliché, I have to train SMARTER, not harder. I know that I've still got some speed and strength in me, but I can't waste energy doing activities that don't have any value. For now, I don't have anything planned, running-wise, until the fall. I'm looking forward to continuing to explore more segments of the Ice Age Trail and running my local trails as well. 

Changing my mindset and not pushing myself so hard--this may be my biggest challenge yet!

Recovery Week plus I Read it! Racing the Clock

Disclaimer: This post contains affiliate links. I received a PRC of Racing the Clock from NetGalley and the publisher in exchange for my honest review.

This week was all about recovery. Boy, did I need it after my race last Saturday. While I could not be happier with the outcome of the race, pushing myself that hard really took a toll on me. When we runners say we 'left it all on the road'--that is what I did at my race. It's such a satisfying feeling, but as you would expect, I paid for my effort! I experienced DOMS at the beginning of the week, with lingering fatigue into the end of the week.

To aid in my recovery, I dialed back the output on my activities this week. I slept a lot. I ate foods that would help with inflammation and recovery. I used my Chil Wellness CBD products, to calm my aching joints and muscles. As the week went on, I started to feel better. Proper recovery is so important! 

I don't have any other races on the calendar until September. I'm looking forward to 'just' running for a couple of months. Obviously, if something interesting opens up, I wouldn't rule it out! But for now, I'm taking it easy.

Blown Away

Literally and figuratively, this week I was blown away.

Spring weather in the Midwest is always a wild ride. We often joke that if you don't like the weather, wait a minute and it will change. Sometimes it feels like you have all 4 seasons in one day--a few years ago at the CARA Lakefront 10 miler, we started out with sun and 70 degrees, only to finish in the wind with temperatures dropping to the 40s.

Oh, that wind! Even though the Windy City got its nickname from its windbag politicians, Chicago is known for its fierce winds that blow off Lake Michigan. We've had our share of wind this spring and this week was no different. Apparently, any large body of water will do as I battled winds at my race around Lake Monona on Saturday in Madison, Wisconsin. 

But the wind wasn't the only thing the blew me away this week--there were some good runs, including another live race and a hike to one of my favorite spots.

I'm Languishing ...plus I Tried it! Nathan SaferRun Personal Alarm and Strobe

Disclaimer: I received the Nathan SaferRun Personal Alarm and Strobe in exchange for my honest review. This post contains affiliate links.

Earlier this week, Shiastho messaged me with a link to an article that I had just pulled up on my computer. Turns out great minds do think alike! The New York Times article we both read describes the feeling of not being depressed but not feeling well as languishing, the 'middle child of mental health'. A few months ago, after I received my second dose of the vaccine, I was so hopeful, but that hope faded quickly. Nothing was changing. I felt stuck. 

Apparently, I've been languishing.

Earlier this year, I described my feelings in a post about anxiety. While I've gotten my anxiety under control, that blah feeling remains. I'm not depressed. I'm just meh. That 'meh' feeling is what the NYT article addresses. The article suggests looking for small wins as a way to get past languishing. The author suggests finding 'flow' by immersing yourself in an activity or project. She also suggests setting boundaries, a time when you can't be interrupted. My runs have been that for me, particularly my time in the woods, which gives me a break from all the noise and usually brings me joy.

But then my run ends and it's back to life as it is. 

However, there is hope. The verdict in the George Floyd murder trial gives me hope for healing in our country. And while COVID cases are on the rise, with 50% of adults in this country having gotten at least one vaccine, that increase in cases isn't explosive. The country is slowly opening back up. I ran a live race in Chicago last weekend, a city with one of the strictest lockdown policies in the country. 

Having a name for how I've been feeling gave me that 'aha'! moment, even though it means I'm languishing. Sometimes, it's just nice to know that it isn't just you. We got this.

Wednesday's trail run

Sure, Why Not?

In spite of rising COVID cases everywhere, life continues its slow return to normal. This week's highlights include a return to a favorite race and a hike in a beautiful state area in Wisconsin. I had an RA flare midweek, which slowed me down for a day or so but didn't stop me from lining up at the start line on Saturday. 

So yeah, pretty much life as usual. I mean, why not?

Making my way through the gorge at Parfrey's Glen

Whew!

It's been an overwhelming couple of weeks for me! Between Cocoa's surgery, working on the lake house, my continuing education conference, and some other family issues, something had to give--and that was blogging last week. With falling readership, I have been considering shutting down the blog, but I really do enjoy our little runblog community here. In a year of virtual races and isolation, the interaction with other bloggers and readers has really been a lifeline at times. 

So here I am, sharing a brief update of running and training from the past 2 weeks. I'll also share a Cocoa update at the end of the post. Long story short, she's doing great! So am I. 

Twisted Logic

 "Sunlight, opened up my eyes, to see for the first time, it opened them up.... 

...Don't fight for the wrong side, say what you feel like, say how you feel...

You'll go backwards, but then

You'll go forwards again,

You'll go backwards, but then

You'll go.." ~from Twisted Logic, Coldplay

Listening to music while running Friday morning, this song came on and it's stuck in my head. Good thing I like Coldplay! It pretty much summed up how it's been going lately. One step forward, two steps backward. 

RA continues to flare and after last Sunday, when I developed so much pain, I started a course of steroids. Thankfully, the low dose I'm taking dialed down the pain to a dull roar, but hasn't shut it down completely. Unhappy about the flare but grateful I can run without fatigue, I was also fortunate to have planned a few days off work for some continuing education. It was all virtual and a great way to learn, and the time away from the office did me some good.

Speaking of going backward, we found out this week that my sister has COVID. Yep. After a year of social distancing and masking, after completing chemo and surgery, she was carelessly exposed and now she's sick. It just makes me so mad! Soapbox alert: Your actions have consequences for others. We're getting so close to the finish line. We can't let down our guard now. Wear your mask! 

Moving forward, we went up to the lake this weekend to spring clean and put things back in place now that most of the repair work is done. The new carpet and bathroom flooring are in! It looks so fresh and I am even more excited for summer to come. We're doing a few other little things to spruce up the place. We're not doing a lot of redecorating since the eventual plan is to tear it down and build a house for retirement. For now, it's great to have our little getaway!

Flying on Friday

Motion is Lotion

This week, RA didn't play nice at all. I don't know if it was the cold, blustery weather we had early in the week or a post-vaccine immune response, but I was achy AF. It doesn't really make sense to blame it on the COVID vaccines, because I got the second dose over 2 months ago. But something triggered my immune system. I'm writing this on Saturday and my hands are still swollen, inflamed, and achy. Joint pain woke me up in the middle of the night a couple times this week and I had to take ibuprofen, something I try not to do very often. I have avoided steroids so far, but I am considering taking a short course, just to shut this thing down. Thankfully, I'm not experiencing much fatigue as I have during other flares, so in spite of the pain, I've able to run and work out. 

Running and working out during a flare might not make sense to some people, but as we RA warriors like to say, 'motion is lotion'. I know that I'll feel better once I get those joints moving. That was the case all week. I did have to modify my workouts a little bit, though, to accommodate for the pain.