I Got Lost

My anxiety was off the charts this week! Was it the full moon? The change of the seasons? The continued unrest all around us? It's probably a combination of all things. I'm seeing more and more anxiety in my little patients and their parents too. Online learning has really been stressful so far. It's just one more thing to add to all the goodness that 2020 has brought.

We all need a break. 

I continue to be grateful for running. I mentioned it in my coffee talk post, but hey, it's worth mentioning again that I ran 105 miles in August. Didn't see that coming. Between the heat and humidity and the return of some RA symptoms, running lately has not felt easy for me. The trails have helped me slow down--which in hindsight is actually a good thing right now. But there was a surprisingly speedy run this week too! 

And yes, I really did get 'lost' this week--keep reading for the details.

We're ending the week and summer up in Wisconsin. Bittersweet, isn't it? All of it.

Embracing All That is Good

There's not much new to share this week and that's a good thing. I've been just mentally exhausted for the past couple of months. While every day feels a bit like groundhog day, the continual bombardment of news of the pandemic and politics is just wearing on me. Add to that the wildfires in California and the double hurricanes bearing down on the south--all I can say is that it has been one crazy year. 

My way of coping? I've been looking for the good in everything around me. I've been finding things to laugh about. This Jim Gaffigan comedy special on Amazon made my husband and me laugh so hard. The bit he did on marathon running is hilarious! I'm continuing to enjoy my job of caring for children and their families. It's been empowering working on getting stronger. And enjoying the beautiful weather we have been blessed with. Running with the sunrise. Exploring the trails. Connecting with friends. 

Wednesday's trail run

Ice Age Trail 21k Training Week 6

What the what? What happened to the 50k?

Summer happened. Not just any summer, but one of the hottest summers on record. Last Saturday, I ran my longest run in years, a 15 mile trail run. It was hard, it was hot and humid, but I finished with a smile on my face. No big deal, no butt chafing, and I checked that one off the calendar. I wanted to do a jumping selfie, but my legs were too tired.

Later that day, I was laying on the couch in the AC, recovering and not feeling well at all. My leg muscles were visibly twitching and my stomach was cramping. I focused on rehydrating and refueling. I was really dismayed that I couldn't sleep at all that night, tossing and turning, unable to get comfortable. I took a pass on the next day's run, instead opting for a bike ride. I felt strong on the ride, but when I got home, it was pretty much a repeat of the day before. Exhausted, I layed around all day and again, I couldn't sleep at night. I stayed in bed longer than usual on Monday morning, taking a pass on my crosstraining class. When I saw that the weather forecast for the upcoming week was full of 90s and humidity, I made the decision to drop down from the 50k distance to the half marathon in the Ice Age Trail Race.

It wasn't an easy decision. You all know how excited I was to secure a spot in the 50k. When I texted Marcia to let her know, she responded kindly, telling me she 'gets it' and that I shouldn't see it as a 'failure'. I don't. What I am struggling with is the realization that getting older and having RA means I can't do all the things. While I would never use either of those reason as an excuse for cutting back and slowing down, real talk here...at this point in my life, I'm lucky to be running at all. Running is first and foremost, my stress reliever. Running shouldn't be stressing me out. Running should be fun. 

Wasting a weekend on the couch, recovering from a hard run? Not so much.

Got Runfessions?

It's the end of the month and you know what that means, at least for us running bloggers. Yep, it's time for runfessions! Do you runfess? Marcia opens up the runfessional on the last Friday of the month so we can cleanse our souls. Or our soles...

We Fun SO Hard!

I'm a little overdue for a weekly recap--but when you read my post, you'll understand why! I'm resting on the couch recovering from an incredibly full and satisfying week. Sometimes life fills you up and makes you realize how truly lucky you are. This past week was one of those weeks. It was also my birthday week. I received some very good career news and I had some really good runs.

To top it all off, I headed south to visit my former Weekly Wrap co-host and waterskiing partner in crime, Holly. We were joined by the lovely Teresa for some fun in the sun, some running, and shenanigans. Who's old? Not us! Our motto for the weekend: We Fun So Hard!

We did!

Can I Still Call Myself a Runner?

It's been a few weeks since I've posted a training recap. Summer's kept me hopping! As much fun as I've been having, the training hasn't stopped. I'm not training for anything official, though. I have a half marathon on the calendar in September but unless some sort of running miracle happens, that race is going to be a DNS.

For me right now, running is kind of a non-thing. I've been pretty much phoning in my runs this summer. As much as I consider myself a runner, the fact of the matter is that for the past 6 months, running has felt hard. God knows I've whined about it enough here on the blog. I've given up trying to figure out why. And you know what else? I'm not really bothered by it right now. I've been so busy staying active doing other things that the low mileage hasn't affected me. I'm sure that come fall when life slows back down, the running struggle is going to become real again.

Maybe the cooler temperatures will bring some kind of running miracle? A runner can only dream. Who am I kidding? With the almost non-existent mileage that I'm logging right now, can I even call myself a runner?

A Change in Perspective

In the midst of the never ending winter and my ongoing health issues came an invite from my southern sister from another mister. Holly, who used to co-host the Weekly Wrap link up with me, convinced me to book a flight for a weekend visit to her new lake house. She found a trail race for us. I looked for flights and found a great deal.

After I booked my flight, I had second thoughts. What if I don't start to feel better? Will I be able to run? Even more important, will I be able to water ski? Will she still want to hang with me?

What the heck was I worried about?

Runfessions: January

January just flew by, which in my mind is a good thing! This month has been such a whirlwind that I cannot believe it's time for Runfessions again. I'm glad Marcia reminded us that she's opening the runfessional today. I needed to dig deep for some runfessions today, which is probably a good thing too, right?

This post reminds me of those days as a child when I used to confess my sins to the priest. Sometimes I had to think of sins that were worthy of a confession. Seriously. What kind of sins does a young girl commit? I'm sure he sat there listening to me confess about being mean to my sisters and thought: "yep, I'm living the dream". I wonder if anyone ever shares anything juicy in the confessional? Is a priest obligated to call the police if someone confesses to a crime?

Fortunately, I don't have any crimes to runfess. There were some shenanigans this month. But as with most lapses in judgment, it was all worth it...

2018: It Was a Very Good Year

As a runner, it's always fun at the end of the year to reflect back on the year of running. At last year's end, I wrote that for 2018, I was going to "dial back the intensity a bit" and "be a little kinder to myself". I didn't set any goals for 2018, instead deciding to let the year unfold as it would. Still adjusting to living with RA, I didn't want to set myself up to fail and I sure didn't want any DNS. I also wanted to continue to practice yoga and work on strength via CrossFit.

Regular readers of the blog know that 2018 was a very good year for me. I've shared my triumphs, which were many, as well as my trials, which were few. For the most part, RA was pretty quiet. I had a few flares which always freak me out but were well-controlled with a burst of steroids. I did have my knees injected during the summer. My most recent bloodwork shows low RA activity. I still agonize over my loss of speed and endurance, but I've come to the conclusion that instead of blaming RA, menopause and aging are the more likely culprits. I can blame them for my thickening midsection too!

It's been a fun year, with less of a focus on the destination and more on the journey. I've had a lot of company--on my runs, at my races, and off the road too. I'm so grateful that I have been able to continue running! Here's my year in review. I'm not going to share specifics about races--you can find links to this years' races under the tab above.

More Than a Runner

"🎶 More than a runner...more than a runner to me...🎶 ~Apologies to the Bee Gees. 

This post was originally scheduled to go live Sunday from Montgomery, Alabama after a fun-filled active weekend with my co-host, Holly. As much as we tried, we just couldn't finish our posts and do them justice in time to open the Weekly Wrap on Sunday as we usually do. We debated about this all Sunday morning but on the drive to the airport, we finally made the decision to defer the Wrap to Monday morning. We hope y'all understand!

For me, it's been a busy couple of weeks. Yes, I was just in Wisconsin last week. And yes, I ran a race with Holly and a bunch of other blogger friends 2 weeks ago. It's been a busy couple of weeks. I even squeezed in a couple days of work between all this activity. Full disclosure: I also had more than a few "what was I thinking?" thoughts cross through my head. More than once.

It was all worth it.

If runners are good at anything, it's learning to roll with life. That's what I did and I've had a really fun couple of weeks--although I am pooped! I need a vacation...

Ok, let's wrap it up!

The Cure for the Post-Summertime Blues

I can honestly say that this was probably one of the best summers of my life. After my recovery from my prolonged flare of rheumatoid arthritis this past spring, I was bound and determined to make the most of my summer. I was feeling good, dammit! When management told me I would have to give up all my vacation time (because I had used it all up taking time off to heal), I negotiated strongly to keep my long weekends. I have Thursdays off and taking Fridays off would be no big deal, right?

I am so glad I did that. Guys, if I learned anything from this whole RA experience it is this: Fight for your right to party!

I did and I've got the pictures to prove it. Give a runner a diagnosis and watch her go. This was a summer of activities and fun.

No matter what happens to me now, I'll always have this summer. Those memories are my cure for the post-summer funk.

Runners Just Wanna Have Fun

Am I right?

After last week's RA flare, I was slapped into reality. Laying on the couch last Monday, struggling to move without pain, all I could think was "this is really happening!" followed by "this is NOT really happening!" I was mad and sad all over again. I'm sorry to put it out there, but guys, this is so not fair. I've got things to do and places to be, and spending my days on the couch is not on the plan. Fortunately, the steroids that my rheumatologist prescribed kicked in fairly quickly and I was back on road and the water sooner than I expected. This summer has been filled with water sports and this past weekend was no exception!

5 Things I'd Tell You Over Coffee

Good morning! Let's have a cuppa, shall we? I'm not much for conversation until I've had at least one and maybe even 2 cups of coffee. I sure do look forward to it, though. I'm especially excited about taking my coffee in this mug I picked up after our epic adventure in Door County last month. Killer coffee? Could have been...

Do you take cream and sugar?

If I Didn't Run...

This week has really sucked the joy out of a lot of us. While this is not even remotely a political blog, I was stunned and saddened by the election results. To me, it felt like a bad dream. But what's done is done, and life goes on. The sun came up the next morning. I felt grateful for all that is good in my life. My family, my friends, my coworkers, and my dog.

I also felt grateful for running. No matter how busy I am, no matter how tired I am, I always make sure I get outside and run. Running is my therapy, my muse, my love--I can't imagine getting through life without running. Today's Friday Five 2.0 prompt asks: what activities would you do besides running? What would make me happy if I didn't run?

Not run? Now that's a bad dream! Not really. In all seriousness, there are other things in my life that could fulfill me. And none of them have to do with work.