Blown Away

Literally and figuratively, this week I was blown away.

Spring weather in the Midwest is always a wild ride. We often joke that if you don't like the weather, wait a minute and it will change. Sometimes it feels like you have all 4 seasons in one day--a few years ago at the CARA Lakefront 10 miler, we started out with sun and 70 degrees, only to finish in the wind with temperatures dropping to the 40s.

Oh, that wind! Even though the Windy City got its nickname from its windbag politicians, Chicago is known for its fierce winds that blow off Lake Michigan. We've had our share of wind this spring and this week was no different. Apparently, any large body of water will do as I battled winds at my race around Lake Monona on Saturday in Madison, Wisconsin. 

But the wind wasn't the only thing the blew me away this week--there were some good runs, including another live race and a hike to one of my favorite spots.

I'm Languishing ...plus I Tried it! Nathan SaferRun Personal Alarm and Strobe

Disclaimer: I received the Nathan SaferRun Personal Alarm and Strobe in exchange for my honest review. This post contains affiliate links.

Earlier this week, Shiastho messaged me with a link to an article that I had just pulled up on my computer. Turns out great minds do think alike! The New York Times article we both read describes the feeling of not being depressed but not feeling well as languishing, the 'middle child of mental health'. A few months ago, after I received my second dose of the vaccine, I was so hopeful, but that hope faded quickly. Nothing was changing. I felt stuck. 

Apparently, I've been languishing.

Earlier this year, I described my feelings in a post about anxiety. While I've gotten my anxiety under control, that blah feeling remains. I'm not depressed. I'm just meh. That 'meh' feeling is what the NYT article addresses. The article suggests looking for small wins as a way to get past languishing. The author suggests finding 'flow' by immersing yourself in an activity or project. She also suggests setting boundaries, a time when you can't be interrupted. My runs have been that for me, particularly my time in the woods, which gives me a break from all the noise and usually brings me joy.

But then my run ends and it's back to life as it is. 

However, there is hope. The verdict in the George Floyd murder trial gives me hope for healing in our country. And while COVID cases are on the rise, with 50% of adults in this country having gotten at least one vaccine, that increase in cases isn't explosive. The country is slowly opening back up. I ran a live race in Chicago last weekend, a city with one of the strictest lockdown policies in the country. 

Having a name for how I've been feeling gave me that 'aha'! moment, even though it means I'm languishing. Sometimes, it's just nice to know that it isn't just you. We got this.

Wednesday's trail run

Sure, Why Not?

In spite of rising COVID cases everywhere, life continues its slow return to normal. This week's highlights include a return to a favorite race and a hike in a beautiful state area in Wisconsin. I had an RA flare midweek, which slowed me down for a day or so but didn't stop me from lining up at the start line on Saturday. 

So yeah, pretty much life as usual. I mean, why not?

Making my way through the gorge at Parfrey's Glen

Whew!

It's been an overwhelming couple of weeks for me! Between Cocoa's surgery, working on the lake house, my continuing education conference, and some other family issues, something had to give--and that was blogging last week. With falling readership, I have been considering shutting down the blog, but I really do enjoy our little runblog community here. In a year of virtual races and isolation, the interaction with other bloggers and readers has really been a lifeline at times. 

So here I am, sharing a brief update of running and training from the past 2 weeks. I'll also share a Cocoa update at the end of the post. Long story short, she's doing great! So am I. 

Twisted Logic

 "Sunlight, opened up my eyes, to see for the first time, it opened them up.... 

...Don't fight for the wrong side, say what you feel like, say how you feel...

You'll go backwards, but then

You'll go forwards again,

You'll go backwards, but then

You'll go.." ~from Twisted Logic, Coldplay

Listening to music while running Friday morning, this song came on and it's stuck in my head. Good thing I like Coldplay! It pretty much summed up how it's been going lately. One step forward, two steps backward. 

RA continues to flare and after last Sunday, when I developed so much pain, I started a course of steroids. Thankfully, the low dose I'm taking dialed down the pain to a dull roar, but hasn't shut it down completely. Unhappy about the flare but grateful I can run without fatigue, I was also fortunate to have planned a few days off work for some continuing education. It was all virtual and a great way to learn, and the time away from the office did me some good.

Speaking of going backward, we found out this week that my sister has COVID. Yep. After a year of social distancing and masking, after completing chemo and surgery, she was carelessly exposed and now she's sick. It just makes me so mad! Soapbox alert: Your actions have consequences for others. We're getting so close to the finish line. We can't let down our guard now. Wear your mask! 

Moving forward, we went up to the lake this weekend to spring clean and put things back in place now that most of the repair work is done. The new carpet and bathroom flooring are in! It looks so fresh and I am even more excited for summer to come. We're doing a few other little things to spruce up the place. We're not doing a lot of redecorating since the eventual plan is to tear it down and build a house for retirement. For now, it's great to have our little getaway!

Flying on Friday

Motion is Lotion

This week, RA didn't play nice at all. I don't know if it was the cold, blustery weather we had early in the week or a post-vaccine immune response, but I was achy AF. It doesn't really make sense to blame it on the COVID vaccines, because I got the second dose over 2 months ago. But something triggered my immune system. I'm writing this on Saturday and my hands are still swollen, inflamed, and achy. Joint pain woke me up in the middle of the night a couple times this week and I had to take ibuprofen, something I try not to do very often. I have avoided steroids so far, but I am considering taking a short course, just to shut this thing down. Thankfully, I'm not experiencing much fatigue as I have during other flares, so in spite of the pain, I've able to run and work out. 

Running and working out during a flare might not make sense to some people, but as we RA warriors like to say, 'motion is lotion'. I know that I'll feel better once I get those joints moving. That was the case all week. I did have to modify my workouts a little bit, though, to accommodate for the pain. 

On the Way Up

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After hitting the skids in February, I can say that things are definitely looking brighter! Once again, this week we were gifted with a lot of sunshine and the snow is gone. The trees have leaf buds on the branches. I spotted robins on my runs. My daffodils are even poking through the dirt. I know it's too soon to put away my winter coat, but it sure felt good to not have to layer up for my runs this week. In fact, I even got to wear shorts one day. 

Off the road, life has been pretty uneventful. My sister had her surgery last week and everything went well. The pathology report came back clear, meaning she is cancer free! This is all such good news! Today we're having lunch and going for a walk. We're even talking about planning our sister trip for the fall. Things are definitely looking up!

A Slow Return to Normal and Mini Book Review of I Hate Running and You Can Too

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Is it just me or does it feel like things are starting to get better? At least with regards to opening back up, that is. I'm not talking about dropping the mask mandate--it's a little too soon for that. With the approval of the J&J vaccine this week, I'm starting to feel much more optimistic. Even better---this week, I found out that my favorite race, the Lakefront 10 Miler, is going to take place on April 17. Live. On the actual course!! In Chicago!!!

Can you even believe it?

Of course, I signed up. With a guaranteed refund if the race is canceled, I saw no downside to jumping right in. Fingers crossed that I get to cross that start line! 

The sun is shining, the snow is melting...I can just smell the optimism! 

Runfessions: February

It's the end of February and I could not be happier. It's been a long, cold month, the pandemic rages on, and really, doesn't every day right now feel like groundhog day? I almost considered not runfessing this month, you know, same old, same old, but my soles are heavy and in need of absolution. I haven't missed a monthly runfession session yet. Thank goodness Marcia opens the runfessional on the last Friday of every month. And here we go...

Hello, Sunshine!

In spite of the continued cold temperatures and yet another snowstorm on our doorstep, optimism is in the air. The sun has been shining most days this week and that always makes the coldest day feel warm, right? I'm not downplaying the devastating conditions that have hit our friends in the south. Living in the midwest, we know how to "do" winter and while we may complain about it, we are able to move through the snow and life goes on. 

Sadly, though, winter proved to be a formidable foe as last weekend my husband drove up to the lake to check on the house and walked into burst pipes and water everywhere. We always leave the heat and water on as a preventative measure, but due to this prolonged bitter cold spell, the frost line is too deep. What a mess! He was able to get a cleaning service and a plumber to get the repairs started. Dealing with the insurance company was much more difficult and they reminded him that they are busy with the Texas disaster. The good thing is that we will be able to do some much needed purging and renovations. My hubs is back up there this weekend, pulling out the carpet and filling up a dumpster with years of accumulated stuff. Me, I stayed home with Cocoa, who would have only gotten in the way of this big project. 

Feeling Salty

Holy shit, it was A WEEK. 

Sorry for the salty language, but yeah, it's been a week. We've been watching The History of Swear Words on Netflix and it is a hilarious look at swearing. It's definitely not for everyone, but for this first week of 2021, it seems to fit quite well. Laughter is the best medicine and this show gave me a much-needed release from the omnipresent anxiety that not only am I experiencing, but am seeing in friends, family, and patients as well.

Who could have predicted the horrendous events that took place this week in our nation's capitol? There were warnings, but judging by the carnage, no one seemed to take them seriously. The tumultuous past couple of years have turned the country into a pressure cooker, although some say the pressure has been building for years. So many people make the comment that 'they aren't political' or even that 'it doesn't matter who is in office'.  We have to make sure nothing like this ever happens again. Even if it means 'being political', whatever the hell that means. If you think your vote doesn't count, well, this week really proved that it does. 

I feel like for the past year I've needed to have a disclaimer in my posts: This is not a political blog. This is a running blog. All opinions posted here are mine. I'd like to get back to the business of just writing about running. Heck (hell?), I just want to run. Have I told you lately how much I love to run? This week, there was plenty of that.

You Can't Make This Stuff Up

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Christmas 2020 was unlike any other as we celebrated, socially distant. Christmas Eve was just the 4 of us, with homemade pizza. After dinner, my youngest son's girlfriend joined us for a lively game of Fibbage, followed by Quiplash. We spent the evening laughing ourselves silly. Christmas Day was again just the 4 of us. We opened our gifts, did a Zoom exchange with my parents, sisters, and their families, and enjoyed a roasted goose for dinner. 

Prior to the holiday, my youngest son started complaining of a sore throat on Tuesday; by Wednesday he had a fever. I was feeling a little panicked. He swore up and down that he hadn't been exposed. I believed him--none of his 8 housemates have had COVID and a recent COVID antibody test was negative. I was pretty sure that my immunity to the virus from the vaccine I received less than a week ago wasn't very strong at that point, and inwardly I crumbled. 

The next day I took my still febrile son to the immediate care at my office. He was swabbed for COVID, flu, and strep and tested for mono, even though it was too soon for the monospot to be reliable. Everything was negative, which was kind of a mixed blessing. I mean, I don't want him to have anything, but clearly, he did, and wouldn't it be better to know what it was?

Relieved about that negative COVID test, but knowing there was still the possibility of a false negative, I was glad that we already planned on a socially distant holiday at home. The risk of exposing my extended family to whatever he had would have forced that anyway. As the weekend progressed, my son's sore throat got worse and the fever continued. His symptoms didn't seem like typical COVID. We got late-breaking test results this morninng: it's non-group A strep, a variation that we don't normally treat. I offered to call in a prescription of antibiotics for him since he's still pretty miserable, but he's going to tough it out. Just like a man, lol. 

This is where we're at right now-- where every illness is COVID until proven otherwise, but anything else is preferable. 

Guys, I am so tired of COVID, but I can't just ignore it. I am faced with it every day in my job. We are so close to getting on top of it, but people just can't seem to get that. If I get a little salty about it, please consider my perspective.

Weekly Rundown

Monday: trail run 5.6 miles, Yoga with Adriene

Tuesday: rest

Wednesday: run 5 miles

Thursday: rest

Friday: run 5.27 miles

Saturday: trail run 6 mile

Sunday: CrossFit wod with 2250m run

Year to date: 1198 miles

Running

Holiday week; my training schedule was up for grabs. With a dentist appointment scheduled for Wednesday morning (I broke a tooth), I took my shoes to the trails on Monday. I'm so glad I did. It was a cold but absolutely gorgeous morning. To mix things up, I parked in a different lot and found a new-to-me trail into the woods. This was a twisty, up and down path with lots of downed tree trunks. I took full advantage of some agility training, leaping over them. These trails are truly the gift that keeps on giving!

It was ridiculously windy on Wednesday, so I ran my neighborhood loop, ensuring that I wouldn't run into the wind for any length of time. It was a good plan and my splits were all over the place, depending on the wind. I stopped at the park to play with handstands and surprised myself by easily kicking up and holding them! 

I always run on Christmas morning and even though it was bitterly cold, the sun was shining when I headed out to the bike path. There were a few other die-hard runners and walkers out there too.

Saturday was another cold morning, although not as cold as the day before. I decided to go to the preserve along the DesPlaines River. When I got there, the parking lot was closed. So I drove to another parking lot, which was also closed. Odd. There is a nature center in this preserve, surely, I thought, that would be open. It was and I parked in the lot, running through the little nature area to the trail. From there, I ran south 3 miles in the cold sunshine. When I finished, I stopped to ask the employee about the closed parking areas. She said they would be closed for the season to allow workers unrestricted access to do maintenance on the trails. Oh, right! 🙄

a beautiful cold bluebird day!

CrossFit/Strength

I received a new wooden plyo/jump box for Christmas and was excited to see that Sunday's WOD included box overs! The WOD started with 2 rounds of a 4 minute AMRAP: 5 box overs, 5 burpees, and 10 single arm DB power cleans. After a 2 minute rest, there was another 4 minute AMRAP of 5 handstand pushups or decline pushups, 5 per leg single leg v-ups, and 10 single arm DB snatches. After a 2 minute rest, I finished up with a 2000m run (subbed for a 2000m row).

Cocoa testing out my new plyo box

It Felt a Little Like Christmas...

I runfess...I really enjoyed our little family holiday this year. Don't tell my mom. Earlier in the week, my husband and I did a drive-through light show that was choreographed to music. While we enjoyed it, it definitely wasn't something I want to do again. I'd rather walk and enjoy at my own pace. 

My sunroof came in handy for photos

On Christmas morning, I woke up to photos sent from the mother of the family my office adopted for the holidays. Oh my goodness, was that what my heart needed to see! I shared them with wonderful coworkers, several of whom sent photos of their own little ones opening gifts. What a blessing they all are!

My husband, boys, and I opened our gifts. That Goose Island Bourbon county stout I scored last month put a big smile on my very stoic husband's face! Best.gift.ever. He was stunned and told me he too had entered the lottery but didn't get an entry to purchase it. We gifted my oldest son, who loves to cook, a silver Kitchen Aid mixer that I scored on Black Friday. My youngest got a new snowboarding helmet after cracking his old one when he crashed last March. I got some Vuori joggers, which I haven't stopped wearing except for a run, along with the plyometric jump box. 

my sick boy and nurse Cocoa

We Zoomed with my family, but most of the gifts we mailed to my sister and her family out east hadn't yet arrived. While it was nice to see everyone, Zoom is definitely not a substitute for the real thing. After dinner of roasted goose, we watched the new Wonder Woman movie, which while not my typical movie, I have to admit I enjoyed it. I could use some of her skills! Goals for 2021. 

This year was very different than Christmases of the past, but we made the most of it and it was really nice!

How was your holiday? Were you able to squeeze in some workouts? Did you get together with family or did you do a virtual get-together like we did?

I'm linking up with Deborah and Kim for the Weekly Rundown. 

Too Close for Comfort

This week was remarkable for how COVID began closing in on my world. My husband came home from work every day with an announcement that yet another person or 2 working on his job tested positive, finally shutting down the job for a day for cleaning. One of the doctors that I work with tested positive on Wednesday. Her medical assistant was already out, recovering from the illness. I sit next to them in our work area. It's been frightening and too close for comfort. 

It's like playing COVID roulette. 

My family has planned for a socially distant Christmas celebration. Shopping was done early so the gifts could be shipped to recipients in time for a Zoom gift exchange. It's not the holiday any of us want, but we've got family members who are at high risk for complications. 

I'd sure feel bad if I gave anyone COVID for Christmas; the guilt I'd feel from that far outweighs any guilt I might feel from skipping a holiday celebration this year. This isn't the Christmas that any of us want. It's been the year that none of us wanted. We're all tired of it. But as the cases continue to rise, don't let down your guard. Keep wearing your masks and keep your distance. 

There is good news, however. Today, after my run, I went to the hospital and received my first dose of the Pfizer/BioNTech vaccine. I feel like I won the lottery. When I found out on Friday that I was on the list to receive the vaccine, the sense of relief nearly brought me to tears. I feel very, very fortunate. Here's to hoping that this is the first step towards a return to normalcy.

The Countdown is On!

55 bottles of beer on the wall, 55 bottles of beer. Take one down, pass it around, then you get drunk and you fall on the ground... Who remembers singing this song on school field trips?  Was it just my school? Ahh, the carefree 1970s...

When 2020 began, none of us had any clue as to what the year held for us. Like most of you, I had some races on the calendar and was going to plan my runs, training for my events as they rolled out. There were whispers of a pandemic brewing, but none of us could fathom what was to come. Looking back on the year, from a running perspective, for me, there weren't many races, but it was a good year for me with a lot of miles run. In fact, I am closing in on 1200 miles for the year. I didn't set a mileage goal this year, but as the end of the year approached and the miles piles up, I figured it was worth chasing. After all, it has been a long time since these legs have run this many miles.

Since my diagnosis with RA 4 years ago, I stopped setting mileage goals. But when I hit 100 miles for the month as part of a virtual challenge back in April, I decided to make it a goal to run 100 miles each month this year. Then I entered the Ice Age Trail race and accumulated some decent mileage training for that. The race may have been postponed until 2021, but I kept on running. 

At this writing, I am at 1145 miles for the year. There are no awards, no medals, just my pride, and that feeling of accomplishment on the line. All things considered, RA and an aging body, I'm really happy that I can do this. Oh and yeah, running was not canceled this year! I may have mentioned that before, lol. 1200 miles? I'm coming for you.

This Year, It's All About the Little Things

If I could have the perfect Midwestern winter, I would want the weather we have had since early fall. We've had a nice long stretch of sunny and what local weather legend Tom Skilling calls 'seasonally cool' weather. Sure, there have been a few inclement days, but for the most part, it's been really pleasant. Local peeps, you know what I'm talking about, right? We can get some pretty ugly weather this time of year, so to me, our current conditions are really a gift. It's been a year that has been filled with so much awfulness and I'm grateful for all the sunshine. 

Oh, and I'm just fine with no snow. Sorry, not sorry.

Thanks to the nice weather, I've been getting outside for all my runs and continue to add my mileage bank. I didn't start out the year with a mileage goal, but I'm closing in on 1200 miles for the year! The pandemic may have curtailed a lot of our activities and canceled a lot of our races, but I'm pleasantly surprised with what has been my highest mileage since 2014. That has been a huge gift in a year that hasn't been giving me much to smile about. 

on the IAT

Ache it 'Til You Make It

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After many months of feeling really good, this week rheumatoid arthritis awoke from its hibernation and unleashed some hurt on me. I don't know if it was due to the Humira wean my rheumatologist had me doing or if it was the rainy, cold weather we had this week, but I was not feeling good. With my final half marathon of the year (virtual) scheduled for Saturday, I wasn't even sure if that was going to happen. 

Fortunately, I finally had a good nights' sleep on Friday and woke up Saturday to sunshine and much less pain. Was it the Chil Wellness salve I slathered all over my joints the night before? I don't know but I was really grateful for feeling better. I was determined to run my race and I was rewarded with a strong run. I'm sharing the details below. This was my last virtual race of the year and hopefully forever. I'm so over virtual racing and ready to get back to live events. But who knows what 2021 will bring? 

A Grateful Runner

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With Thanksgiving coming up this week, it's the perfect time to reflect on all there is to be grateful for. It's easy to get caught up in all the negativity that has surrounded us for much of 2020. I'm not going to focus on that today. Instead, I want to focus on my year of fitness, which has been a bright spot for me. 

After 4 years of struggling with rheumatoid arthritis, my disease is currently under control and I'm feeling really good. I always want to pinch myself when I say that because when you live with a chronic illness, you know that the rug can be pulled out from under you at any time. I've been pushing my body pretty hard this year, which has always been something I do when I'm feeling anxious or stressed. Fortunately, my body hasn't pushed back, instead responding to the challenge and giving me some fast runs and heavy lifts. For that, I am grateful. 

I am grateful that I discovered trail running this year. Not only did I make some new furry friends out in the woods, the trails force me to slow down and enjoy the ride. The trails aren't smooth and there are plenty of obstacles--think tree roots, stumps, and holes--which have improved my agility. Trail running is humbling because for me, it's more difficult than road running. I can't just dial up my music and zone out like I can on the roads. Trail running been a great way to mix up my runs and as I age, I see myself spending more time on the trails.

I am grateful for the opportunites this year to test out my legs at some live races. While the races I ran this year were nothing like what I am used to, it was still a good to put all that training to the test. Running those races also made me realize how much I miss live races, nerves and all. 

Finally, I am grateful to my strength coach for continuing to push me and helping me build muscles. Strength training is truly the fountain of youth. It might not erase my wrinkles, but being strong keeps my joints happy and allows me to do the thing I love most, running. I also can keep up with my grown sons, which has always been a goal of mine. They inspired the tag line on my blog, "sitting on the sidelines is no fun!"

Here We Go Again

Yes, this is a running blog, but I need to comment on what's happening with COVID. Because not only has it affected our sport, cancelling most races this year, but the rising numbers threaten to put many of us back on lockdown.

After keeping the spread of COVID under control all summer long, our numbers here in Illinois along with much of the country, are skyrocketing out of control. While we are at about a 14% positivity rate, Wisconsin is beyond ridiculous, with a positivity rate around 37%. I'm not sure if its complacency or the cold weather or what, but as the case count continues to climb, we're starting to shut down again. It's getting scary and it's getting old. 

Last week, I had a mom bring her child in for COVID antibody testing. The parents had had the illness previously and mom wanted to know if the child had it too. When I called mom with the positive results, she told me that she had taken a COVID test prior to seeing me and was still testing positive. What the what? We are a non-COVID clinic. How did she get past the screeners at the front door? We were masked but still! We don't really know about people who stay positive long after their symptoms have resolved. Are they asymptomatic spreaders?

This is the reality of what's happening on the front lines. One of my partners had a patient come in this week with full blown COVID symptoms, but lied about the reason for the visit so he could be seen. Come on! Don't be selfish. Wear the damn mask and wear it correctly, over your nose. If you have symptoms, stay home. If you think it's no big deal, well, I don't know what to say to you. 

Saturday's trail run

Then there was...So.Much.Good

November decided to turn into September and I'm loving it! All week, we've been blessed with temperatures in the 60s and 70s along with sunshine. This never happens, so I took full advantage of it and got in some really nice miles! Running was a great way to burn off some of that election result stress. 

You know how it all turned out. Sometimes, you get exactly what you need. I'm breathing much easier. That plus good weather and a strong 5k trail race?

It was a good week.

When your run isn't going so well, you kick up into a handstand.

Wanna Get Away?

Yeah, I did. 

The weather forecast was favorable and with a new roof being installed on our house, it seemed like a good weekend for a quick getaway out of town. The temperature wasn't warm enough to take the boat out, but we enjoyed the sunshine and nature. The country might be on edge with the upcoming election and rising COVID rates, but for my husband and me, we found some peace and solitude in the woods of Wisconsin.

I'm convinced that nature is the cure for everything.  

Ice Age Trail